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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Ladies using Midwives -- ever feel the need to "defend" your choice?
I've been having trouble breathing lately, midwives sent me to my primary, who sent me to a lung specialist.
I overhear the nurse tell the doc, "She's not even using an OB for her pregnancy -- she's only having a midwife".
Doc comes in, I tell him what I overheard and he shook his head saying, "I don't understand why you're not using an OB. I mean, you're an educated woman living in the NY area." My jaw drops in disbelief, he tilts his head and says, "We're not living in Tennessee, Mrs X". 
I wish I had fired something smarter back at him but instead just said that I started my first pregnancy with an OB but felt I wasn't receiving enough attention, plus they had told me I M/C'd when I didn't (even pushed for a D&C). I told him the midwives are affiliated with an OB practice and that I'm extremely well cared for by them, but he still was shaking his head at the end of the appointment.
I can understand defending my choice to my MIL or to some layperson on the street, but a trained medical profession -- a SPECIALIST? WTH?
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Posted 2/24/12 5:12 PM  |
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Robbiesox15
LIF Infant
Member since 4/10 175 total posts
Name:
Ro
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Re: Ladies using Midwives -- ever feel the need to "defend" your choice?
1. The doctor and nurse are ignorant
2. The doctor and nurse are unprofessional
3. They are disrespectful
What they said was out of line and clearly they are ignorant about the profession of midwives. If it were me I would find a new specialist and I would definitely write them a letter about how they were disrespectful and unprofessional. (I might also throw in some studies/statistics about the benefits of using midwives).
I'm sorry you had to have such a stressful experience with this doc, I mean have some consideration for a woman who has more than enough on her plate already.
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| Posted 2/24/12 5:51 PM |
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2boys4me
He's coming soon!
Member since 4/10 4260 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ladies using Midwives -- ever feel the need to "defend" your choice?
I get it a lot. My mom and MIL think it's totally unsafe that I am attempting a VBAC and call me all the time asking me to please reconsider which is making me nervous and upset. I was seeing an OB with DS and they messed up A LOT that is why I left. I feel like I am being cared for a lot better with the midwives and that they take time with me, answer all my questions, and are very very educated and knowledgeable.
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| Posted 2/24/12 6:44 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Ladies using Midwives -- ever feel the need to "defend" your choice?
I am not using a midwife, but I am horrified by how your doctor and the nurse responded to your personal choice!  You were there to see the doctor about a specific problem, not for his advice about how to handle childbirth!
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| Posted 2/24/12 6:49 PM |
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Alexandra17
Keep It Positive
Member since 4/09 6262 total posts
Name:
Alexandra (ali)
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Re: Ladies using Midwives -- ever feel the need to "defend" your choice?
Posted by Jax430
I am not using a midwife, but I am horrified by how your doctor and the nurse responded to your personal choice! You were there to see the doctor about a specific problem, not for his advice about how to handle childbirth!
ita
that was out of line
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| Posted 2/24/12 6:50 PM |
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DomesticDeeva
Tiebreaker on deck!!!
Member since 11/08 2088 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: Ladies using Midwives -- ever feel the need to "defend" your choice?
Posted by 2boys4me
I get it a lot. My mom and MIL think it's totally unsafe that I am attempting a VBAC and call me all the time asking me to please reconsider which is making me nervous and upset. I was seeing an OB with DS and they messed up A LOT that is why I left. I feel like I am being cared for a lot better with the midwives and that they take time with me, answer all my questions, and are very very educated and knowledgeable.
A friend of mine just had a successful VBAC, no drugs, no complications. Yes there are risks, but don't let your mom and MIL scare you!
To the OP, that is unreal what the dr and nurse said. Completely unprofessional!!! I use a midwife too, who is in practice and consults with OB's. I have seen her for all 3 babies, even though I was having a repeat c-section, she took care of me til the very end. I have never felt like I was receiving inadequate care, if anything, she is more attentive and explanative. Don't let anyone make you feel bad!!!
On a side note, I have been trouble breathing too. I feel like I have to take a deep breath at times, but can't. I am 16 wks, the OB said we have to keep any eye on it. Is that what you are experiencing? Have they given you any explanations? Just curious, thanks!
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| Posted 2/24/12 9:40 PM |
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Barbiegrl
So in love with my little man!
Member since 8/09 2618 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: Ladies using Midwives -- ever feel the need to "defend" your choice?
I switched at 26 weeks from an OB to a midwife and I was SOOO HAPPY I did!
Yes, I had to defend my choice all the time!
My mom wanted me to have an OB but after a while I didnt like their care and I swtiched. I should have just listened to myself and went with the Miswife first.
You're the one having the baby - You can do whatever you want! 
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| Posted 2/25/12 12:07 AM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Ladies using Midwives -- ever feel the need to "defend" your choice?
totally unprofessional ~ sorry this doctor put you through that ~ everyone should respect your personal choice. 
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| Posted 2/25/12 4:56 PM |
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babyberry
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 1477 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Ladies using Midwives -- ever feel the need to "defend" your choice?
Posted by Robbiesox15
1. The doctor and nurse are ignorant
2. The doctor and nurse are unprofessional
3. They are disrespectful
What they said was out of line and clearly they are ignorant about the profession of midwives. If it were me I would find a new specialist and I would definitely write them a letter about how they were disrespectful and unprofessional. (I might also throw in some studies/statistics about the benefits of using midwives).
I'm sorry you had to have such a stressful experience with this doc, I mean have some consideration for a woman who has more than enough on her plate already.
this is exactly what i was thinking. very very unprofessional of the dr and nurse to say this!
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| Posted 2/25/12 5:44 PM |
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