Jealous- does it ever end??

After 2 IVF's, a miscarriage & many other infertility trials & tribulations, I am happily almost 30 weeks prego.
So why do I still get unbelievably jealous when someone tells me they are pregnant & werent even trying?? I mean really shouldn't I be over it by now???
Like my blood is boiling rIght now but at the same time I wouldnt want anyone to have to go through what i did. Such conflicting emotions!
Sorry just had to vent, hope you girls dont mind me posting here...:)

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

Same here! Especially when you hear they "just started trying" or it was an "accident" really?????? I get still so jealous too. You're not alone.

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

Thanks for that. I feel like jealousy is such an unhealthy emotion but I just don't know how to get over it.
I guess we are scarred for life......

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

When I was pregnant with my triplets, I was still jealous to the core of a cousin who conceived naturally VERY soon after she got married. I was 4 months pregnant at her wedding last year and then lost the baby, which I think has something to do with how I feel. I can't believe after I was in my 2nd tri at her wedding, she still managed to get pregnant AND have her baby before us.

Message edited 7/28/2011 6:07:40 PM.

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

This is a cousin too, & she found out she was pregnant literally 2 days after her wedding. She is beyond annoying & braggy to begin with so I think this is putting me over the edge!!!!! If she tells me they weren't even trying one more time, especially after sending out a million emails before her wedding that they wanted to have kids immediately, I am going to jump through the phone & smack her!
She really brings out the worst in me...:)

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

I too get jealous. I hate when people tell me they got pregnant by accident or on their first month of trying...

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

Nope...I don't think it ever ends. I still get jealous when I hear someone got ku accidentally or they weren't even trying, I get sooo jealous.

DH doesn't understand. We are 21w pregnant with . He said who cares about other people? I said why couldn't it be that easy for us or if we want more children we have to go get more frosties and try an FET. Why can't we just and it'll happen?

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

I guess that's what I'm experiencing this week. My friend/co-worker just found out at 41 that she's pregnant. She's not married, is dating a guy for 5 months who she met on Match and they have no commitment to one another. She actually had her eggs frozen about 5 years ago but it looks like she won't need them.

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

I am 21w3d with twins and I still hate hearing about my how my sis in law got knocked up the first month... I mean, REALLY?!? How can it be THAT easy?

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

Honestly, my twins will be a year old next Friday, and I still struggle with all kinds of feelings and emotions related to my difficulty conceiving.
I wouldn't say we are scarred, I just think intense emotions and difficult struggles will always change a person and their future experiences. I have a lot of anxiety, as a mom, because I somehow feel like I have to be the perfect mom... Afterall, I did work so hard/pray so hard/want this so much. How could I mess it up in any way? So, I am on anxiety meds and am going through therapy.
I do, still get jealous of people who just pop kids out...even friends who are having their third, when I may never have a third. Rediculous, I know!

The good news, is that our experiences also give us such a deep, amazing appreciation of being a parent. You will be able to look at your child(ren), knowing how hard it was to get them here, and feel sooooo thankful and blessed. My heart has never been as fu as it is when I think about that. And, you will be able to tell your LOs that you wanted them here soooo much and are thankful for them each day. My mon had trouble conceiving me, so I know how wonderful it feels, as a child, to hear that.

So, know that these struggles are life changing, but can really be positive, as well.

to all of you!

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

Posted by shelby34

Honestly, my twins will be a year old next Friday, and I still struggle with all kinds of feelings and emotions related to my difficulty conceiving.
I wouldn't say we are scarred, I just think intense emotions and difficult struggles will always change a person and their future experiences. I have a lot of anxiety, as a mom, because I somehow feel like I have to be the perfect mom... Afterall, I did work so hard/pray so hard/want this so much. How could I mess it up in any way? So, I am on anxiety meds and am going through therapy.
I do, still get jealous of people who just pop kids out...even friends who are having their third, when I may never have a third. Rediculous, I know!

The good news, is that our experiences also give us such a deep, amazing appreciation of being a parent. You will be able to look at your child(ren), knowing how hard it was to get them here, and feel sooooo thankful and blessed. My heart has never been as fu as it is when I think about that. And, you will be able to tell your LOs that you wanted them here soooo much and are thankful for them each day. My mon had trouble conceiving me, so I know how wonderful it feels, as a child, to hear that.

So, know that these struggles are life changing, but can really be positive, as well.

to all of you!

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

but it only makes you appreciate everything so much more- at least for me it did- i didn't take ANYTHING for granted!!

Re: Jealous- does it ever end??

I had my moments too, like everyone else...its only natural. It was always a "thats great for them, but what about me " feeling. What kept me from not going over the edge most times, was the FACT that i knew i was going to be a mom eventually. Whether through surrogate, adoption, etc...i was going to get there. As is every single woman here.

The longer I was on the IF road the more open i became to taking other avenues. There is no wrong way to create a family, and I strongly believe what will be will be, so maybe I was destined somehow to adopt. and two....i am fully aware that things are not alway what they seem to be. everyone has their struggles in life. maybe its not my struggle (IF) maybe its finacial, or their marriage, or their health, etc. i know many women who are blessed with grade A fertility and are utterly miserable in their life in general.
Pity parties are TOTALLY normal on this road, I have had many myself but I try really hard to focus on what I have and not what I don't. It is a conscious effort at times, :hah