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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: IVF decision
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Blu-ize
Don, I agree that he is freaked out.
you didn't answer my question though.
Based on what you know, how he loves his nights out - do you think he's ready for this/really wants this?
he has pretty much cut that out recently. He confessed to me that he doesn't want to do that anymore. He thinks it's bad for him and costs too much.
Well, I agree. I guess it took him that long to figure it out. I mean he was spending $100 week on this stuff. 
Also, I think he doesn't feel good when he does that and it was making him feel old.
He's out about once a month. Heck, I would go out once a month.
He has been different recently and it started happening when I started making changes in myself. After I got the news from the RE at NS things changed.
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Posted 8/6/08 12:15 PM  |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: IVF decision
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
I mean, maybe I don't "get" the male ego, but I've never understood why a guy would be uncomfortable going for a SA.
Heck, all the guy has to do is what he does on a regular basis anyway 
And you get free porn
Not very good porn, but free nonetheless
And I don't buy the argument that a man doesn't feel like a man if he can't impregnate his wife naturally.
As long as you can produce sperm, you can impregnate your wife - what's the difference as to the process on how it gets there?
That's YOUR personal opinion and while I have the same perspective, I do know that conceiving a child naturally is very important to many women AND men. Having the final realization upon you that the only way you will conceive is through artificial means can be very diminutive and can really shake a person to the core. Not all, but many. Having children is one of the basic essential functions of being a human being, and being told that you cannot do that, at least on your own, can have a very deep impact on some people, which, although doesn't impact me in the same way, I can certainly understand and respect.
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| Posted 8/6/08 12:22 PM |
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BA2008
Need to find some hope!
Member since 2/08 2485 total posts
Name:
Beth -Ann
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Re: IVF decision
Posted by Blu-ize
yep Davis said if we get 5, we'll put back 5.
The odds are very slim at our age, but he did say the odds are about 20% for getting pregnant.
Pretty damn good for an old lady like me.
That is great, he told me I have 10%. But emphasized that is was not single digits. What ever that means.
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| Posted 8/6/08 12:47 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: IVF decision
Posted by BA2008
Posted by Blu-ize
yep Davis said if we get 5, we'll put back 5.
The odds are very slim at our age, but he did say the odds are about 20% for getting pregnant.
Pretty damn good for an old lady like me.
That is great, he told me I have 10%. But emphasized that is was not single digits. What ever that means.
well, I guess he doesn't have any idea what will really happen with me but he has a lot of info about you.
20% is the average with everything he knows about me which is squat.
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| Posted 8/6/08 12:56 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: IVF decision
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
I mean, maybe I don't "get" the male ego, but I've never understood why a guy would be uncomfortable going for a SA.
Heck, all the guy has to do is what he does on a regular basis anyway
And you get free porn
Not very good porn, but free nonetheless
And I don't buy the argument that a man doesn't feel like a man if he can't impregnate his wife naturally.
As long as you can produce sperm, you can impregnate your wife - what's the difference as to the process on how it gets there?
That's YOUR personal opinion and while I have the same perspective, I do know that conceiving a child naturally is very important to many women AND men. Having the final realization upon you that the only way you will conceive is through artificial means can be very diminutive and can really shake a person to the core. Not all, but many. Having children is one of the basic essential functions of being a human being, and being told that you cannot do that, at least on your own, can have a very deep impact on some people, which, although doesn't impact me in the same way, I can certainly understand and respect.
I know that it does exist.
I can understand it more from the female POV than the male POV because the guy's part isn't nearly as invasive
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| Posted 8/6/08 12:58 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: IVF decision
I never thought it a million years I would have IF issues. It's pretty devastating.
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| Posted 8/6/08 1:41 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: IVF decision
This happened with me and my DH as well.
When I really dug down deep with him it turned out that the main cause for his hesitation is that he was scared for me.
My mental health if it failed and my physical health with the shots and with anesthesia for the first time.
He didn't get that I had already reconciled that in my own head and was prepared for it.
It's hard for them to stand by and watch us go through so much sometimes.
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| Posted 8/6/08 1:47 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: IVF decision
Posted by Blu-ize
I never thought it a million years I would have IF issues. It's pretty devastating.
Same here..I thought it would be a piece of cake. To come to the realization that the ONLY way you *might* have children is through medical intervention is quite jarring...it takes a while to adjust to.
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| Posted 8/6/08 1:59 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: IVF decision
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
I mean, maybe I don't "get" the male ego, but I've never understood why a guy would be uncomfortable going for a SA.
Heck, all the guy has to do is what he does on a regular basis anyway
And you get free porn
Not very good porn, but free nonetheless
And I don't buy the argument that a man doesn't feel like a man if he can't impregnate his wife naturally.
As long as you can produce sperm, you can impregnate your wife - what's the difference as to the process on how it gets there?
That's YOUR personal opinion and while I have the same perspective, I do know that conceiving a child naturally is very important to many women AND men. Having the final realization upon you that the only way you will conceive is through artificial means can be very diminutive and can really shake a person to the core. Not all, but many. Having children is one of the basic essential functions of being a human being, and being told that you cannot do that, at least on your own, can have a very deep impact on some people, which, although doesn't impact me in the same way, I can certainly understand and respect.
I know that it does exist.
I can understand it more from the female POV than the male POV because the guy's part isn't nearly as invasive
It's not all about the physical element, and I'd venture to say, with most people it is more of an emotional block than anything else. Again, while it might not be a big deal for you, and so it might be difficult to see how it's a big deal for other men, you have to remember that is YOUR persepctive. I personally know of several men, my husband included, who had a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that we would not be able to conceive our child naturally; whether the physical impediment is theirs or their wives makes no difference.
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| Posted 8/6/08 2:03 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: IVF decision
Posted by leighla
This happened with me and my DH as well.
When I really dug down deep with him it turned out that the main cause for his hesitation is that he was scared for me.
My mental health if it failed and my physical health with the shots and with anesthesia for the first time.
He didn't get that I had already reconciled that in my own head and was prepared for it.
It's hard for them to stand by and watch us go through so much sometimes.
exactly. I think this is really what's going on too. I'm reconciled, but he hasn't or isn't.
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| Posted 8/6/08 2:09 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: IVF decision
He watched as I got 10 vials of blood taken from me. I didn't flinch..I'm used to medical stuff. He also knows I know a lot of medical stuff and it's a bit intimidating for him. I'm farther along mentally than he is on this.
He said he was impressed when I had the blood drawn. He's never had any medical intervention at all.
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| Posted 8/6/08 2:15 PM |
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BA2008
Need to find some hope!
Member since 2/08 2485 total posts
Name:
Beth -Ann
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Re: IVF decision
See I kept prepping DH. I knew from my age and the fact that ALL my best friends (I have 5) have gone through IVF that so were we. And they were 35 when they started TTC. I was 38. He just kept telling me to stop saying that. Maybe it was a self fulfilling prophecy but in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't be easy. Though I thought it would have worked by now. I always thought (even when I got my BFP) that IVF was in the plans for me. Don't know why. Yet, I always thought it would work.
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| Posted 8/6/08 3:53 PM |
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hope316
LIF Adult
Member since 8/07 1085 total posts
Name:
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Re: IVF decision
I defeinitely agree with Bxgell2
My DH always said when we had a month off, may be this month will be it. even though my pessimistic attitude was why now after 2 years??
he's on board with IVf but i think we both are internally devasted that this is what it will talk to be parents and the have different coping mechanisms and how the "share " their emotions
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| Posted 8/6/08 5:44 PM |
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