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Aly764
Isla Grace born on 11/15/13 <3
Member since 6/12 1021 total posts
Name:
Alyssa
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"It will happen when you stop trying"
If one more person tells me this I am going to punch them in the face!!! Ok not really- but I am so sick of people saying this to me! If you aren't trying how do you know if you're ovulating? Sorry I'm not just gonna "wing it".
Ok rant over... I must be getting AF- I'm in a mood today.
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Posted 2/20/13 10:44 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
mrsm-2011
He is my world!
Member since 6/12 3009 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
Some people just don't get it. 
These comments are exactly why no one knows that DH and I are TTC.
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| Posted 2/20/13 12:04 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
I don't ovulate without meds. When people have said that to me I wanted to be like ... Sooooo if I stop trying, I'll spontaneously ovulate?  
We were going to get a surrogate but after a year and two cancelled surrogate cycles, I did another IVF and got pregnant. I make it a point to tell people that YES I did another round of IVF and that is how I got pregnant. I would cringe for people to say, "OMG what a miracle, you looked for a surrogate, stopped trying, and BOOM!" .. umm no not really. 
I'm also very comfortable with people knowing we needed help to get where we are. I think spreading awareness is awesome.
Next time someone tells you this, tell them PennyCat says to get a life.  On the bright side though.... be glad they're telling you to just relax and it will happen. You KNOW they think you're screwed when they start telling you to "just adopt".
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| Posted 2/20/13 12:05 PM |
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MrsGoldie
<3 Miracles can happen <3
Member since 9/12 1700 total posts
Name:
R
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
I just had this EXACT argument with my mom this morning!!!!! Makes me so angry 
"Stop thinking about it" It will happen when the time is right" It will happen when you stop thinking about it" "Maybe you are stressing yourself out too much" "Maybe you are trying too much" "Stop trying" "Are you doing it right?" "You know, way back in the day women didn't have this much trouble getting pregnant, it just happened" "I don't know what you girls are doing nowadays that it's that hard"
Message edited 2/20/2013 12:17:09 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/13 12:15 PM |
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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
I've tried that approach...it didn't happen. Now I got Dr's involved
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| Posted 2/20/13 12:54 PM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
DH used to say this all the time and unfortunately I had to take the "I told you so" form him when on month 13 the first month where I didn't calculate anything and just decided it wasn't time to get pregnant I got my BFP...So I am one of those women who make this philosophy seem correct.....sorry!
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| Posted 2/20/13 2:02 PM |
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Aly764
Isla Grace born on 11/15/13 <3
Member since 6/12 1021 total posts
Name:
Alyssa
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
I'm glad I'm not the only one getting annoyed by this! I just don't get how you can just stop trying when you have such a small window to get pregnant.
I think I'm just done with telling people we are trying altogether!
My mother in law and sister in law always ask if we've started trying again (because I had a miscarriage and then surgery to remove a cyst in my fallopian tube, and they knew that we were going to start trying again after all of that.) Next time I'm just going to tell them it's none of their business!!
I don't even want to tell them when I am finally pregnant again because last time they told everyone they know and then all these people congratulated me at a family party (2 weeks after I had a miscarriage) and I was so pissed off I had to leave. You would think after all that they would be a little more sensitive, but the getting pregnant thing still comes up everytime we see them.
Message edited 2/20/2013 2:05:57 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/13 2:04 PM |
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Aly764
Isla Grace born on 11/15/13 <3
Member since 6/12 1021 total posts
Name:
Alyssa
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
Posted by jennielee15
DH used to say this all the time and unfortunately I had to take the "I told you so" form him when on month 13 the first month where I didn't calculate anything and just decided it wasn't time to get pregnant I got my BFP...So I am one of those women who make this philosophy seem correct.....sorry!
haha well it does happen for a lot of people! But still annoying when people say it to you matter-of-factly like that's how it will happen.
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| Posted 2/20/13 2:09 PM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
Ignorance is bliss, isn't it?
Stress is def a component that can mess with your cycle but not always. If I would have stopped trying, I would still have no BFP. I have a medical condition that is slowly killing my ovarian function. I will have to give that person the finger when they say that to me
~didn't mean this towards you, Jennie- just people who jump to saying it. Soo happy you are having such a great pregnancy! I was so happy when you finally got your BFP
Message edited 2/20/2013 2:35:38 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/13 2:33 PM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
Posted by Lillies
Ignorance is bliss, isn't it?
Stress is def a component that can mess with your cycle but not always. If I would have stopped trying, I would still have no BFP. I have a medical condition that is slowly killing my ovarian function. I will have to give that person the finger when they say that to me
~didn't mean this towards you, Jennie- just people who jump to saying it. Soo happy you are having such a great pregnancy! I was so happy when you finally got your BFP
Thanks! I don't tell people to stop trying but I do recommend trying to find away to relax a bit....
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| Posted 2/20/13 2:45 PM |
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GlowSuarez
Baby Marz is here!
Member since 12/10 1494 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
aww try not to let these comments bother or put more stress into TTC. Just enjoy every single moment with your DH and cherish it because once you get pregnant then you are going to have to deal with other things that will probably not let you enjoy the time with your DH like what happened to me during my first trimester. Good luck
Message edited 2/20/2013 3:20:22 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/13 2:57 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
See the thing is when u get pregnant on your own and it take a year or right under or around technically you are in the right time frame bc it can talke that long all along,kwim
So on month 7 when someone "relaxed" I think it was just that time...hope I am making sense
Of course there is exceptions to every rule but when people on month 4 or 5 say I stopped trying and boom it happened, no you are just pretty normal lol
Sorry old infertile here lol. I hated hated when people said it to me!
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| Posted 2/20/13 3:09 PM |
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Linzee636
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/11 454 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
Posted by mrsm-2011
Some people just don't get it.
These comments are exactly why no one knows that DH and I are TTC.
I totally agree. DH and I only told a handful of people who have already gotten preggo so they understand. I couldn't handle the added pressure of people asking and making comments.
regardless I hate that comment... makes me feel like
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| Posted 2/20/13 7:48 PM |
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AKG2010
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/10 573 total posts
Name:
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
Posted by mrsm-2011
Some people just don't get it.
These comments are exactly why no one knows that DH and I are TTC.
same for me as well!
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| Posted 2/21/13 9:22 AM |
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Aly764
Isla Grace born on 11/15/13 <3
Member since 6/12 1021 total posts
Name:
Alyssa
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
Posted by AKG2010
Posted by mrsm-2011
Some people just don't get it.
These comments are exactly why no one knows that DH and I are TTC.
same for me as well!
Yea I wish! When we got pregnant in the spring we told everyone after like 7 weeks- which was super early... it was before I had my first sono- But I was excited! Everyone was shocked and thats how I wanted them to be. Then after we lost the baby I feel like everyone just expected us to start trying again. So they all know and they all are constantly bugging us about it. It's so frustrating
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| Posted 2/21/13 11:51 AM |
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RocPin
Life's Beachy <3
Member since 2/08 6765 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
Posted by IveGotAFeeling
I've tried that approach...it didn't happen. Now I got Dr's involved
Same here.
OP - I feel the same way as you. I have tried every approach including the "stop trying so hard" approach and nothing. Im not even all that stressed out about it. I already have one DS, I didnt enjoy being pregnant the first time around so Im not even that upset that its taking us so long; however, I did want my DC's close in age. My main worry is that there is an underlying reason its not happening. If thats the case, no amount of "stop trying" will help me.
People are insensitive morons.
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| Posted 2/21/13 2:46 PM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
That saying is plain old superstition and coincidence. Plenty of women get pregnant under highly stressful situations and environments.
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| Posted 3/1/13 1:15 PM |
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Hope2009
Thankful
Member since 1/09 4429 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
Posted by AKG2010
Posted by mrsm-2011
Some people just don't get it.
These comments are exactly why no one knows that DH and I are TTC.
same for me as well!
me too.
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| Posted 3/1/13 5:09 PM |
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DeniseMarie
<3
Member since 8/07 10682 total posts
Name:
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
People keep telling me that too. "Just relax" It's so freaking annoying
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| Posted 3/5/13 10:36 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: "It will happen when you stop trying"
I know it can be annoying but I am one of those people that it happened to.
And because of it I think there is a small bit if truth to it. Stress is a killer and definitely plays a part in the process.
I tried for 2 years and went though some fertility treatments. The month before I was goign to start IVF I decided to not test,temp anything. I just drank a ton of wine and guess what....after 2 long years the month I did nothing I got PG!
SO as annoying as the comments are the stress of trying can acutally hurt your cycles.
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| Posted 3/5/13 10:42 AM |
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