Issues only at home

My dd is 7 and she is becoming so difficult at home. At school and at her extracurricular activities she is so good and does everything she is supposed to.
But at home my dh and I feel like she is never happy, always whining and jealous of her younger brother. I swear she could be out of the house and get cookies, cake and ice cream, and then find out that her brother got a lollipop and scream why didn't she get one. We are thinking that we should bring her with us to a specialist to see if we can get to the root of the problem and help us come up with techniques to deal with her. Who would I see, a psychologist? I don't feel she has a diagnosis and I know that some of this is completely normal but it is driving us crazy.

Re: Issues only at home

my 5yo is the same way. I think part of it has to do with his baby brother who is 2yo and going through the tantrum, screaming stage and DS1 is seeing if tantrums (mostly whining and crying) will work for him. and when it doesnt work he tends to get fresh!

He is driving me nuts and it makes me when the woman who was helping out with their spring show tells me how wonderful he was, how he always listened and never gave her a hard time etc! I just looked her and said are we talking about hte same kid!

But seriously, I am happy that at least he only acts like this to me otherwise I would me embarrassed!

Re: Issues only at home

If you find anyone or solutions, let me know. My son started this around 5 and is 8 now and it is getting worse! It is getting worse each year. He is an angel everywhere else (unless it is an activity one of his parents run)! In K, her spoke to school psychologist who saw him as perfect and since no problems at school they couldn't do anything for him/us. We recently started a behavior contract/reward system and it is helping somewhat. My friend who is a child psychologist recommended it.

Re: Issues only at home

I am SO glad to read this (well, not glad you're dealing with it...) because my middle DD, who turned 6 this month, is out of control at home too but a model child in school...quiet, does all her work, popular with boys and girls, etc.

I've frequently thought of talking to a professional about her behavior. I keep saying, "This is just not normal!" She still throws wild tantrums; in fact just last night was practically foaming at the mouth while writhing all over the place and then saying the most disrespectful things---out.of.control. She cries very often, yells at her siblings. But yet, like you, we don't feel like she has some clinical diagnosis. My DH thinks it's mostly because she's caught in the middle between a perfect 7 year old sister and a 2.5 year old brother (but I feel she was born a "middle child.") She riles her brother up and abuses her sister and it makes for very trying times. She's even a pathological slob

The sad part is that I favor her in several ways...sense of humor, creativity, etc...but frequently, she makes it very difficult to even like her. Sigh...

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Oh, and my SIL just told me her 9 yr old son still throws tantrums...oy! Let me survive until then, at least!

Message edited 5/21/2013 12:56:12 PM.

Re: Issues only at home

I called north shore child and family guidance and my husband and I are going to meet with someone on Sunday. I feel no matter what she can help make sure my dh and I are on the same page and make sure that we are not giving her mixed messages. I feel that he doesn't always want to listen to my ideas and strategies and he'll be more open to a 3rd party. Keep you all posted.

Re: Issues only at home

Posted by Eireann

I am SO glad to read this (well, not glad you're dealing with it...) because my middle DD, who turned 6 this month, is out of control at home too but a model child in school...quiet, does all her work, popular with boys and girls, etc.

I've frequently thought of talking to a professional about her behavior. I keep saying, "This is just not normal!" She still throws wild tantrums; in fact just last night was practically foaming at the mouth while writhing all over the place and then saying the most disrespectful things---out.of.control. She cries very often, yells at her siblings. But yet, like you, we don't feel like she has some clinical diagnosis. My DH thinks it's mostly because she's caught in the middle between a perfect 7 year old sister and a 2.5 year old brother (but I feel she was born a "middle child.") She riles her brother up and abuses her sister and it makes for very trying times. She's even a pathological slob

The sad part is that I favor her in several ways...sense of humor, creativity, etc...but frequently, she makes it very difficult to even like her. Sigh...

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Oh, and my SIL just told me her 9 yr old son still throws tantrums...oy! Let me survive until then, at least!

Re: Issues only at home

Posted by Eireann

I am SO glad to read this (well, not glad you're dealing with it...) because my middle DD, who turned 6 this month, is out of control at home too but a model child in school...quiet, does all her work, popular with boys and girls, etc.

I've frequently thought of talking to a professional about her behavior. I keep saying, "This is just not normal!" She still throws wild tantrums; in fact just last night was practically foaming at the mouth while writhing all over the place and then saying the most disrespectful things---out.of.control. She cries very often, yells at her siblings. But yet, like you, we don't feel like she has some clinical diagnosis. My DH thinks it's mostly because she's caught in the middle between a perfect 7 year old sister and a 2.5 year old brother (but I feel she was born a "middle child.") She riles her brother up and abuses her sister and it makes for very trying times. She's even a pathological slob

The sad part is that I favor her in several ways...sense of humor, creativity, etc...but frequently, she makes it very difficult to even like her. Sigh...

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Oh, and my SIL just told me her 9 yr old son still throws tantrums...oy! Let me survive until then, at least!