Is it just me?

DD is almost 10 weeks and I have her sleeping next to my side of the bed. I keep waking up to see if shes breathing. I feel like I am paranoid. She hates the bassinet so she is in the Nap Nanny. You keep hearing about SIDS everywhere that I think I have to keep looking at her.
In addition I worry about everything.
why is she crying,
Am I stimulating her enough,
feeding her enough, not enough,
is she happy,sad,
what would happen to her if something happens to DH and I.

This is what I was thinking about at 3am while staring at her due to the Deacon at the church telling us his daughters DH died when their child was 4 mo old.
Random thoughts..I was terrified to think what would I do??

Am I the only one or is this normal?

Is it just me?

It is normal as long as it doesn't consume you. Find ways to comfort your fears. If you need to buy a Movement monitor to have peace of mind and get some sleep, do it. I did with my 1st and it was a huge help. Lack of sleep and hormones do awful things to you after a baby is born. It will get better but the worrying is part of being a parent. I don't think it ever fully goes away. You are responsible for another human being who is completely dependent on you and that can be a very scary feeling.

ETA if you feel you can't shake the intense feeling of worry and it concerns you a call to your OB never hurts.

Message edited 8/21/2012 10:23:02 PM.

Re: Is it just me?

Dd is 14 months now n we still go in the room when we walk by randomly to touch her belly to mke sure she is breathing..a month after she was home my father passed away suddenly...now im constantly thinking what will happen to her if something happens to us ..so many crazy things pop randomly into my head throughout the day but mostly the night. I agree with the above post try to fill you time with other things positive thing or you will make yourself crazy.

Re: Is it just me?

You're not alone...

I had the video monitor aimed at my son when he was sleeping at the side of my bed because I needed to be able to see him clearly with that night vision thing.

And I agree with the PP about the post-baby hormones doing CRAZY things to your sanity. Maybe mention your concerns to your doc and see if it's PPD or depression related. Maybe they can give you something to relax so you can enjoy this time better?

Good luck!

Re: Is it just me?

Thanks ladies. I will take your advice. lately she's sleeping longer but I'm still on the 2 hr schedule and she's fussy cranky during the day. May be just the mix of hormones and lack of sleep. I just started thinking like this in the past few days. It should pass.

Re: Is it just me?

I have similar thoughts Fergie. I worry all the time is she developing ok, what would happen to her if DH or I weren't around...and on and on I go. I'm going now to hug her just to feel better. LOL

I think it is all part of motherhood.

Re: Is it just me?

It will pass with time. Soon you'll feel more at ease. The beginning is hard. When DS#1 was born I never felt like I was doing enough to keep him entertained. When they are that little they are really just happy to be. Try to get some rest or just relax when you can.

Re: Is it just me?

I was the same way.
I remember the first night home from the hospital I jumped up out of a dead sleep, ran to the side of the bed she was sleeping on and started checking her breathing. My DH thought I was insane.
And it didn't get better for a long time.
I would wake up and just stare at her to make sure she was breathing. I would put my hand in front of her nose to feel her breath coming out. Sometimes if she was too still I would wake her just to ease my mind.
It's normal.
But it does get better over time. I rested a lot easier once she was old enough to lift her head on her own, etc.

Is it just me?

I have an Angelcare Monitor, and it did wonders for me. I don't worry as much. I used it in the bassinet and now in his crib. You can't use it in an adult bed, though.

Re: Is it just me?

I was and still am the same way..ds is 21 weeks and I stare at his tummy rising and falling on the monitor as he sleeps...

Re: Is it just me?

Re: Is it just me?

totally normal! I think a lot of new moms go through this. They are so small and fragile...and we are new at this! I think its normal. Not just you at all.

Re: Is it just me?

You are definitely not alone. I am an anxious person to begin with, but since having DD, it has definitely increased. Some days are better than others. Mostly, I've been anxious about her feeding issues, and obsessing over how much she is/isn't eating, but I also worry about many of the things you mentioned. I worry about stimulating her enough, holding her enough, putting her in the bouncy seat/swing too much, etc. I am going back to work the day after labor day, and I am so nervous that no one is going to take as good care of her as I do, but then I also constantly worry
that I'm not taking good enough care of her.

My biggest issue is that I like to do everything the "right" way, and there's no one clear "right" when it comes to parenting (but some very clear wrongs obviously). So I obsess over what one book or article says, and then what another says that is contradictory...and then I try my best to follow my instincts, but it's not easy.

ETA: DH and I are always checking her breathing!

Message edited 8/23/2012 7:58:59 PM.

Re: Is it just me?

Nope, totally normal. Even now at 10mos I sometimes hit the "speaker" button on the video monitor because the noise makes her twitch in her sleep and then I know she's okay

Re: Is it just me?

Posted by Jax430

You are definitely not alone. I am an anxious person to begin with, but since having DD, it has definitely increased. Some days are better than others. Mostly, I've been anxious about her feeding issues, and obsessing over how much she is/isn't eating, but I also worry about many of the things you mentioned. I worry about stimulating her enough, holding her enough, putting her in the bouncy seat/swing too much, etc. I am going back to work the day after labor day, and I am so nervous that no one is going to take as good care of her as I do, but then I also constantly worry
that I'm not taking good enough care of her.

My biggest issue is that I like to do everything the "right" way, and there's no one clear "right" when it comes to parenting (but some very clear wrongs obviously). So I obsess over what one book or article says, and then what another says that is contradictory...and then I try my best to follow my instincts, but it's not easy.

ETA: DH and I are always checking her breathing!

Re: Is it just me?

totally normal, just try not to let it keep you up all night. for the first several weeks i worried about crazy things, always at night time. imagining horrible things happening to DS, and same as you - worrying about what would happen to him if something bad were to happen to us.

just breathe, know baby is ok, and that you need your sleep in order to take care of her in the morning! try and relax, she will be fine.