Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

I'm not sure if I'll change my mind in a few years but as of right now, I would only like one child. Anyone else feeling the same way?

Message edited 12/12/2005 10:55:42 AM.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

If that is how you feel there is nothing wrong with it. I have lots of friends that only want one.

For me we want 3 maybe 4
I am one of 5 and love having a big family. I also loved having a new baby (I could have done without the pregnancy part) I can't wait to do it again.

But that is just us.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

.

Message edited 1/15/2006 4:16:24 PM.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

I've gone back and forth from one extreme to the next in my mind more times than I can count...

Please don't hate me for this, but when I see my sister's children interact, it gives me a knot in my stomach. Individually they are both awesome, awesome kids but together they are like gas and a match. They fight, they're competitive, are very mean to each other, etc., etc. Maybe I didn't have that type of interaction with my siblings because of the vast age difference between us (who am I kidding, I was ALWAYS fighting with my sister when we were kids and there's six years between us). I would hate to have Amber or any other child of mine feel like he/she has to compete for my attention, have someone make her mad, upset, etc. It's one thing when they are exposed to it on the outside, but to have it in your own home? I also hate being the mediator between the children; she'll find plenty enough reasons to "hate" (as all teen girls do) her mother.

Bob didn't have a great childhood experience with his brother either (his brother was always picking on him, controlling him, beating on him AND the parents condoned it - they thought it was "cute"), and as adults their relationship doesn't even exist. So the whole "You HAVE to have another child to keep Amber company throughout life" theory goes right out the window there.

I would love to have another child in a few years but for now, I know and understand our limitations. We are both financially tapped at the end of the month and with me working more than one, two and soon to be three jobs, there simply isn't the time I need to devote to one child, let alone two. Maybe things will be different down the road, but for now the magic number is 1. I also understand time is not on my side (I'll be 34 on Wed) so if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. I'm not putting it all on the line for another baby if it's not in the best interest of the family I have NOW. I feel blessed as-is to have this wonderful little girl in my life.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

we plan on having 2 or 3...personally I just don't think it's fair to have only 1. I feel like they are lonely and missing something. I loved having my sister around even though we fought or didn't get along great at times as teenagers, but now I miss her like crazy.

I'm 1 of 2 and DH is 3 of 3.

My cousin had PLANNED on only having 1 because she's very petite and her PG and delivery were very difficult--well then Sept 11 happened and they decided to have #2 because they felt if anything happened to them as parents, at least their would have her little

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

Posted by btrflygrl

we plan on having 2 or 3...personally I just don't think it's fair to have only 1. I feel like they are lonely and missing something. I loved having my sister around even though we fought or didn't get along great at times as teenagers, but now I miss her like crazy.

I'm 1 of 2 and DH is 3 of 3.

My cousin had PLANNED on only having 1 because she's very petite and her PG and delivery were very difficult--well then Sept 11 happened and they decided to have #2 because they felt if anything happened to them as parents, at least their would have her little

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

The only reason I didn't want 1 is because I see what my mom is going through now caring for her mother (she lives with my mom) and how hard it is on my mom even though her brother helps on the weekends. My cousin and her husband recently went through the same thing with her MIL for about 8 years, and they are both so exhausted all the time, both mentally and physically. I didn't want Sarah to have all the burden for caring for us herself in the future. Hopefully we'll be able to pay for our own long term care if we need it, but you never know what's going to happen that far down the line.

But having more than one kid doesn't guarantee that they will step up. My mom's sister is never around to help, she leaves it all to my mom and her brother.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

I always said I wanted 1 but would have 2 because everyone should have a sibling.

But just because youhave a sibling doesn;t mean you will get a long- i am one of 3 and have a great relationship with my brothers, but my mother is one of 3 and has no relationship with her siblings really.

Now that I have my own everything changes- I wonder how I would ver be able to (or want to) share my time and attention.
But really I have no idea what I want to do- I told dh well discuss it when my stitches heal and I can be more objective!

Message edited 12/12/2005 11:36:41 AM.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

Before we started to have kids, we decided that we would have 2, maybe 3. After having my son 6 years ago, we had a hard time adjusting so we decided that we were only going to have him. 6 years later, I am pregnant with our 2nd by choice. People change with time

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

I dont think everyone must have a sibling.... I want to have more children....for me ( and of course giving Ryan a sibling is a bonus) ive always known I wanted 3/4 children... its one thing ive never changed my mind on....

I one of 3... and love my brothers but were not like overly close or anything...we are all 2 1/2 yrs apart

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

Message edited 12/16/2011 2:17:44 PM.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

I'd like 3!

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

I always knew I wanted more than one.
I am very excited to be having another child & I know my daughter will have a little buddy to grow up with and play with.
I would actually like 3 but DH says he only wants 2.
I think its up to you and your DH. But for us, we just always knew we wanted 2.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

We had planned for 2, and for them to be around 2-3 years apart, now that Claire is here I think we would be happy with just one. I feel the same way about not wanting to burden one child with taking care of the parents, but even if you have 2 you just never know how it will work out. I was an only child for many years before my sisters were adopted and I did not like it, I felt too much pressure even at a young age. My youngest sister is 16 years younger then me and we have the best relationship out of everyone.
DH is insisting on 1 is enough, I think we will eventually have #2 just not in the immediate future.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

There is nothing wrong with having just one. That's all my DH wanted, and Andrew is everything to us. However, I come from a big family (I am one of 6) and always wanted to have a big family too. 6 kids is out of the question now, but with baby #2 on the way, we are very excited. If its a girl, we are most likely complete with our family. If we have another boy, well, I have the right to change my mind on being done!

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

We are planning on 2. We'll see though. Things change, people change....

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

This is a constant battle with DH and myself and my first isn't even born yet. I only want one he wants more. The best is how everyone on both sides of the family just assume we're having more than just one.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

I've always wanted 2-3 .. and then in the first few weeks after having Emily, especiallyw ith the medical problems she had in the hospital which really scared me -- I was just thinking maybe only 1 for us. It was all so emotional and the first weeks were hard taking care of her.

Now that she's 2 months though I'm definately wanting to have more. However I do think that it should be entirely your decision -- don't let people sway you otherwise if they try to. You know what is best for your family and for yourself, your DH and your child that you already have, and whatever decision you make will be your best.

I know that you are an amazing mom -- that is so clear -- and even if you don't have another I don't think he'll be missing out on anything because I feel like you will make sure that he has anything he could possibly want or need.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

I wanted to just have one child, but now that I had Julia and she is just a wonderful baby, I'm probably going to have just one more! Also when I look back on all the fun times I had and still do with my sister and brothers, I also want the same for Julia!

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

Posted by DaniRN

Posted by btrflygrl

we plan on having 2 or 3...personally I just don't think it's fair to have only 1. I feel like they are lonely and missing something. I loved having my sister around even though we fought or didn't get along great at times as teenagers, but now I miss her like crazy.

I'm 1 of 2 and DH is 3 of 3.

My cousin had PLANNED on only having 1 because she's very petite and her PG and delivery were very difficult--well then Sept 11 happened and they decided to have #2 because they felt if anything happened to them as parents, at least their would have her little

I find this very untrue-I am an only child and never felt as if I was missing out on anything or lonely. I had plenty of friends and am extremely close to my parents.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

I was an only child, so I know what it was like...that's why I was considering only having 1.

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

Re: Is anyone planning on having 1 child?

Well, if anything happens in the future, you girls will be the first or second to know about it!!