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ANR1211
My loves
Member since 2/11 2131 total posts
Name:
A
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Thoughts?
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Posted 2/13/16 3:39 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Horrible.
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| Posted 2/13/16 3:51 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Not cool 
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| Posted 2/13/16 3:58 PM |
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twobabies
Praying
Member since 7/05 9662 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Honeybee
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Horrible etiquette.
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| Posted 2/13/16 4:09 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Extremely rude. You don't do that. Hope you aren't going!
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| Posted 2/13/16 4:10 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Tacky. Id be responding NO
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| Posted 2/13/16 4:12 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Not good at all
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| Posted 2/13/16 4:20 PM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Extremely rude.
Regrets and a small gift.
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| Posted 2/13/16 4:44 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Rude. Strange. Why?
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| Posted 2/13/16 4:52 PM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Weird and tacky.
Are you sure you weren't invited? Maybe the invite was lost in the mail?
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| Posted 2/13/16 4:53 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
This happened with DH's cousin. She had a very small destination wedding with not a lot of guests, her mom wanted to throw her a bridal shower. A lot of the relatives on DH's side were upset about it, but I genuinely like DH's cousin. I went and wished her well.
Message edited 2/13/2016 5:06:52 PM.
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| Posted 2/13/16 5:06 PM |
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ANR1211
My loves
Member since 2/11 2131 total posts
Name:
A
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
What if they're planning on justice of the peace (which I think is te case, OR they're doing something tiny with just immediate family)?
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| Posted 2/13/16 5:10 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3999 total posts
Name:
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Nope. If they want a small intimate wedding then they forgo the shower. Why would you invite someone to celebrate a marriage at a shower but not the actual wedding?
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| Posted 2/13/16 5:17 PM |
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Posted by ANR1211
What if they're planning on justice of the peace (which I think is te case, OR they're doing something tiny with just immediate family)?
Still considered a breach of etiquette. Anyone invited to wedding related events needs to be invited to shower. It looks like a gift grab otherwise.
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| Posted 2/13/16 5:24 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Posted by ANR1211
What if they're planning on justice of the peace (which I think is te case, OR they're doing something tiny with just immediate family)?
I still don't think it's right.
If it was a friend of mine, I would just send them something after the wedding to congratulate them.
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| Posted 2/13/16 5:29 PM |
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ANR1211
My loves
Member since 2/11 2131 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by ANR1211
What if they're planning on justice of the peace (which I think is te case, OR they're doing something tiny with just immediate family)?
Still considered a breach of etiquette. Anyone invited to wedding related events needs to be invited to shower. It looks like a gift grab otherwise.
For the record, I agree. But, I might need something from this person soon, so I will probably attend. Just making sure I wasn't crazy for thinking this was horrible etiquette. AND- the invite was addressed to my maiden name (ive been married for 5 years).
Message edited 2/13/2016 5:37:54 PM.
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| Posted 2/13/16 5:36 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
No. Not cool. Not nice. Unacceptable.
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| Posted 2/13/16 5:54 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Posted by ANR1211
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by ANR1211
What if they're planning on justice of the peace (which I think is te case, OR they're doing something tiny with just immediate family)?
Still considered a breach of etiquette. Anyone invited to wedding related events needs to be invited to shower. It looks like a gift grab otherwise.
For the record, I agree. But, I might need something from this person soon, so I will probably attend. Just making sure I wasn't crazy for thinking this was horrible etiquette. AND- the invite was addressed to my maiden name (ive been married for 5 years).
Since it was addressed to your maiden name, it makes me think that someone planning her shower swiped her address book to send out invites. If the person planning it doesn't know you, they wouldn't know your married name, and they probably wouldn't know you're not invited to the wedding. I probably wouldn't go, and I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all.
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| Posted 2/13/16 6:45 PM |
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ANR1211
My loves
Member since 2/11 2131 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by ANR1211
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by ANR1211
What if they're planning on justice of the peace (which I think is te case, OR they're doing something tiny with just immediate family)?
Still considered a breach of etiquette. Anyone invited to wedding related events needs to be invited to shower. It looks like a gift grab otherwise.
For the record, I agree. But, I might need something from this person soon, so I will probably attend. Just making sure I wasn't crazy for thinking this was horrible etiquette. AND- the invite was addressed to my maiden name (ive been married for 5 years).
Since it was addressed to your maiden name, it makes me think that someone planning her shower swiped her address book to send out invites. If the person planning it doesn't know you, they wouldn't know your married name, and they probably wouldn't know you're not invited to the wedding. I probably wouldn't go, and I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all.
Sent by her mom, who I have seen multiple times since I got married- I was at a shower with the mom a year and a half ago when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and we were sat at the same table. We even talked about how she couldn't believe I was married for 4 yrs and having a 2nd kid. Bride asked for my address. Mom knows everything about wedding (more than me).
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| Posted 2/13/16 7:19 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2912 total posts
Name:
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Are you sure you're not invited to the wedding? Maybe the shower is much earlier and they didn't send wedding invites yet? Or maybe someone messed up the shower invite list, since they didn't even get your name correct and the bride will wonder why you are there 
It is definitely considered poor etiquette, but I'm sure there would also be some people who want to celebrate the bride even if they couldn't be invited to the wedding. And so much else happens these days that people would consider poor etiquette, for example, the mother of the bride shouldn't throw the shower, but it happens all the time. People even throw their own showers.
I guess I would just look at it as a celebration and be happy to be included, unless I really didn't want to go, lol.
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| Posted 2/13/16 7:44 PM |
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evrythng4areason
And then there were 4
Member since 1/10 5224 total posts
Name:
Kayla
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Bil and sil did this. Had siblings and parents for a justice of the peace ceremony, and prior to that had a relatively large backyard shower.
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| Posted 2/13/16 7:56 PM |
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Awful. My mom was invited to my SIL's shower but not the wedding. So rude.
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| Posted 2/13/16 9:08 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
My SIL (she was marrying DH's brother) did this. There were more people at the shower than at the wedding. The wedding was "just family," which included extended family no one even spoke to but excluded close friends. The whole thing disgusted me and I'd be lying if I said it didn't change my opinion of SIL going forward.
I was invited to the wedding so I went to the shower. In your case I would definitely not go nor would I send a gift.
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| Posted 2/13/16 9:14 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
that's tacky, and i would really be surprised if you weren't invited to the wedding... I don't usually get the wedding invite until awhile after the shower. I have a shower next month, but the wedding is in may so i didn't get the invite yet. Maybe you are invited, and the invites just didn't get sent out yet
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| Posted 2/14/16 7:12 AM |
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ANR1211
My loves
Member since 2/11 2131 total posts
Name:
A
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Invite to bridal shower, but not wedding
Shower is 3 weeks away. Wedding is 5 weeks away. I know I'm not invited to wedding- I've talked to the bride about it. I didn't think she was going to have a shower because she's not really having a wedding- guess I was wrong.
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| Posted 2/14/16 8:07 AM |
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