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MrDeeNMe
whatcha doin!?
Member since 1/08 1705 total posts
Name:
Nikole
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I'm out... for good
After telling DH that I miscarried in June (I didn't tell him I was PG as I wanted it to be confirmed by the doctor first - but the three +FRER were enough for me) tonight to hopefully help him understand my strong desire (close to obsession) to become PG again, his BLATANT lack of care (including a smirk on his face) and the "you're the one obsessing about this... not me..." solidified my decision to put TTC on a long term hold...
Words cannot express how HURT and devastated I am by his words and actions. I can't seem to understand how someone who started the conversations about TTC for the summer simply turns his cheek to something like this...
He obviously has a LOT of growing up to do...  
I know I'll be back on this board eventually... I just want to thank all the wonderful women on this board who have helped me to understand the quirks of my own body - esp. maybeamommy and MetsGirl and DavenJess...
I will be thinking about all of you and praying for all of you to get your BFP.
Message edited 9/16/2008 7:48:23 PM.
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Posted 9/16/08 7:37 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
jw11897
LOVING LIFE
Member since 6/05 1433 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: I'm out... for good
I am so sorry 
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| Posted 9/16/08 7:38 PM |
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TaraHutch
True beauty
Member since 10/07 9888 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: I'm out... for good
I'm so sorry! Maybe a break is all you need. It will hopefully help to turn your DH's attitude around. I'm so sorry he's not being supportive.
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| Posted 9/16/08 7:40 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm out... for good
Oh my goodness!
I am so sorry that you have to go through this on top of dealing with your miscarriage.
You would think that hearing about that would make him realize how close you were to realizing your dreams, and that would make him want it even more.
I am so incredibly sorry, but I think you've made the best decision for now.
TTC is something that is such a difficult and trying process - it can really put a strain on even the best of marriages.
A good point that someone brought up which is now true for me is that if DH wasn't 100% on board, I do not know how we would handle IF and the possibilities of having to do IUI and IVF or whatever else.
I wish you nothing but the best! Please feel free to keep in touch via FM. Lots of hugs
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| Posted 9/16/08 8:11 PM |
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SummerMiracle
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/08 465 total posts
Name:
Brianne (Bri)
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Re: I'm out... for good
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| Posted 9/16/08 8:22 PM |
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inbliss
I'm a mommy to a 2 year old!!!
Member since 1/08 1694 total posts
Name:
Andrea
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Re: I'm out... for good
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| Posted 9/16/08 8:30 PM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm out... for good
Just a question - did you only tell him tonight that you miscarried ?
He never knew you were pregnant, until you told him you miscarried ?
I'm probably reading that wrong.
Maybe he felt left out of the whole process, that is why he is responding this way ?
I'm sorry he is responding to you in this way. He probably doesn't fully understand what you are going thru.
Something someone told me after my first miscarriage :
A women is a mother from the moment she becomes pregnant, a man becomes a father when the baby is born.
My husband has been an amazing support system thru the whole thing, he's amazed me. But he's the first to say "that its definately harder on me because it was inside my body." Which I believe and fully understand.
I dont know if that helps or even makes sense to you.
IF you ever just want to come on here and talk about how your feeling about the miscarriage or in general, we are all here for you.
take care of yourself
Message edited 9/16/2008 8:38:32 PM.
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| Posted 9/16/08 8:37 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: I'm out... for good
I'm so sorry. Going through a loss like that and not getting the support you need must be devastating. I'm guessing that your DH is more thrown off about all of this then he's letting on. Maybe you need to give yourself and him a break and then revisit TTC. He may be having a hard time processing his emotions over all of this. I'm so sorry that you're hurt.
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| Posted 9/16/08 8:41 PM |
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ready2ttc
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/08 383 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm out... for good
Maybe he felt left out of the process since he wasn't told about the PG/miscarriage? I honestly cannot imagine keeping that from my DH, though I know you probably were only sparing him from the hurt.
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| Posted 9/16/08 9:25 PM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: I'm out... for good
oh sweetie... i am so sorry to hear this i cant believe he is being so cold to you... after what happened to you... i would think he would be more considerate i hope that you both can work it out and he apologizes for the way he is acting... im sure he will get it and realize 
if you ever need to talk i am always here!! i hope you are back soon!!
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| Posted 9/17/08 9:50 AM |
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Angel321
...
Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm out... for good
oh Nikole - i am so MORE than sorry...
I wish just for one day - men could have our hormones and KNOW how much the things they say & do hurt us on a deep level.
If you have ANY questions, complaints, ANYTHING, please reach out...
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| Posted 9/17/08 10:12 AM |
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