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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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IL question: Do you ever feel...
like there is a level of formality that you just cannot get passed with your MIL? Overall, my MIL and I have a good relationship but part of me feels like I am never completely REAL around her. There is always some level of discomfort and formality. Does this go away? Is it always there?
Edited for spelling
Message edited 4/3/2006 4:17:02 PM.
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Posted 4/3/06 4:16 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
I have been married 13 years, know my mil for almost 18 years and I still feel this way. We never really got along and "put up" with each other when we do get together. Luckily she lives in FL and I don't have to talk to her very much!!
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| Posted 4/3/06 4:26 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
I don't think I will ever be as comfortable as I am around my own family, but the more I see them, the more comfortable I feel. Lately we've only been seeing each other's families at holidays since we're so busy. I've grown much closer to my BIL since he's been hanging out at my home all the time, so I think it's just a matter of spending that much time with someone. My ILs are very welcoming though, and always make an effort to include me and have birthday cakes and everything...I feel more uncomfortable when DH and his brother start either talking about their childhood or for hours on end quote movies...It's like they have their own brother language I don't understand.
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| Posted 4/3/06 4:29 PM |
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Juliet
Family is Complete!
Member since 5/05 5913 total posts
Name:
Juliet
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
Because of a language barrier with my IL's, I don't think we ever feek comfortable.
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| Posted 4/3/06 4:34 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
I did for a while. We recently lived with them for four months. My MIL is very easy going about most things because she has a low functioning sister that drives her crazy so I guess she puts the rest of life into perspective. Once we lived with them and they saw me home sick one day all formality went out the window
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| Posted 4/3/06 4:36 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
definitely!
she's a sweet lady and all, but I will NEVER feel as comfortable around her as my I do with my mom.
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| Posted 4/3/06 4:37 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
definitely!
she's a sweet lady and all, but I will NEVER feel as comfortable around her as my I do with my mom.
Same for me too. I feel like I cant open up to her the same way. Plus shes sooo different from my mom too.
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| Posted 4/3/06 4:42 PM |
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nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name:
Live*Love*Laugh
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
yes i feel the same way. my laugh is different and fake
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| Posted 4/3/06 4:43 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
yeah sorta...like my DH is always going to be her little boy 
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| Posted 4/3/06 4:44 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
I totally know what you are saying and feel the same way.
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| Posted 4/3/06 5:13 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
No, I don't feel that way, but only because I could care less what my MIL thinks of me, so I am myself completely around her.
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| Posted 4/3/06 5:19 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
definatley I feel like she is always judging me
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| Posted 4/3/06 5:50 PM |
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thewinterone
You make me happy
Member since 5/05 2474 total posts
Name:
cause you are gray.
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
Message edited 9/16/2011 1:57:39 AM.
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| Posted 4/3/06 5:54 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
Well, I am myself around her and everyone else, but am I sometimes guarded about what I say? Yes. Especially because I know that she likes to talk to her friends about thier exceptionally personal things...i.e. medical problems concerning the southern region. And then she tells DH and I about her friends really personal problems.
Message edited 4/3/2006 5:57:58 PM.
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| Posted 4/3/06 5:57 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
Posted by DMcK
like there is a level of formality that you just cannot get passed with your MIL? Overall, my MIL and I have a good relationship but part of me feels like I am never completely REAL around her. There is always some level of discomfort and formality. Does this go away? Is it always there?
Edited for spelling
yup
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| Posted 4/3/06 6:12 PM |
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JodiBabe
Married for 9 yrs!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6672 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
Not at all! I am totally comfortable with my In-Laws!!!! 
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| Posted 4/3/06 7:13 PM |
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JustMarried
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 170 total posts
Name:
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
I have know my MIL for over ten years and i still feel so uncomfortable. She is alwyas judging what i do and she always has to input her opinion into our life. And to top it off she still makes me call them mr. and Mrs. XXX.
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| Posted 4/3/06 7:49 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
see its kind of hard to explain. i LOVE my MIL to death- she really is such a great woman, and we get along really well. I have to say that since we've gotten married, its gotten even better- like she was always nice to me before hand, but once it became "official", she made me feel like a complete part of the family. Also, in that time, i feel like shes not only come to love me, but also respect me in many ways, so we have a comfortable relationship.
That being said, she is much older than my mom.. actually closer to my grandparents age than my parents (my mom is 45, MIL is 62) So, i think as modern as she is for her generation, she's still of the 'older' generation that i feel like i have to have an added respect for, so i dont goof around AS much as with my mom.
still, i never feel awkward or uncomfortable around her 
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| Posted 4/3/06 8:12 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
My mil and I got along much better previously to DH and I getting married and having our son..
Now we dont get along, and are SOOOO fake to eachother....
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| Posted 4/3/06 8:16 PM |
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jaysee00
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1647 total posts
Name:
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
I know exactly what you are talking about, and the strange thing is I don't even know why I feel like that. I like my MIL, but it's exactly as you said. I feel a bit guarded. I am hoping that it can change though.
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| Posted 4/3/06 8:23 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
I get along pretty well with my MIL except that there are times I want to ring her neck over the insensitive things she does to my SIL.
When she's around, I can tell she walks on eggshells around me. I'm a stronger personality than she is...
The problem is she's not my mom so I can't tell her to knock something off it's bothering me, I have to sugarcoat it more.
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| Posted 4/3/06 9:00 PM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
Posted by jaysee00
I know exactly what you are talking about, and the strange thing is I don't even know why I feel like that. I like my MIL, but it's exactly as you said. I feel a bit guarded. I am hoping that it can change though.
Exactly, I don't know why. That is what is so weird. I hope it changes. It's funny tho, I was talking to my mom about it and she said an IL is never a parent and that is why, which could be true. It's a weird role.
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| Posted 4/3/06 9:02 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
YES!!! I am definitely not myself around them. I'm a little bit happier and nicer I guess.
AND - I have noticed that my DH gets nervous around my dad still. My dad is obssessed with golf and my DH must ask him 100 questions within ten minutes. It always starts with "So, did you play golf today" --- UMMM he plays EVERYDAY!!!
Poor guy - I guess it just takes time to get adjusted.
Message edited 4/3/2006 9:08:10 PM.
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| Posted 4/3/06 9:07 PM |
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mrsmck
Be a big girl!
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: IL question: Do you ever feel...
I love my IL's!!!! They welcomed into the family right from the start. They're both in their 70s, so sometimes I see them as grandparents rather than ILs. There's no discomfort or formality.
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| Posted 4/3/06 9:36 PM |
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