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Have you ever

Forum Opinion Poll
had an abortion? 89 23.24%
given a child up for adoption? 1 0.26%
neither... 293 76.50%
 

I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2

Member since 7/06

7752 total posts

Name:
jeannine

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by Tilde

Posted by SweetCaroline

Posted by Tilde

I voted.

I only know one person who has had two but she has gotten pregnant six times in her life - and still says that her dream in life is to have a *planned* pregnancy.



Sorry but Chat Icon
Does she use birth control?



She swears that she was on the pill for all of them. I am not sure she really understands how women get pregnant.









I know someone just like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she had 5 obviously b.c is not for her...
I also know someone who had one at 5 months in the hospital simply because she didn't want it..

Posted 9/8/08 11:04 PM
 

MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

22132 total posts

Name:

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

I think we know more people than we think. It's not exactly coffee talk and I think a lot of people are afraid of the reaction they will get if they disclose this.


Posted 9/9/08 6:54 AM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by MrsRivera
I did want to share my opinion without horribly offending anyone...but I do want to be one voice of someone who struggled and will continue to struggle with IF in the future. I think those of us that struggle to get pregnant may have a slightly different perspective on the matter--at least I do.



I'm struggling with IF, and have been for almost 2 years now, and I suppose I'm one of the rare ones who doesn't have a different perspective on this.

In my opinion, hindisght is 20/20. Going through IF now, doesn't change the fact that I was very naive when I was younger. Going through IF now, wouldn't have changed the fact that I wouldn't have been prepared emotionally or financially for a child when I was in my teens. And going through IF now, wouldn't have given me the perspective then on how it truly is a miracle to create a life.

And even now, as I face IF, I can empathize with a woman who is facing a pregnancy that she simply cannot sustain, for whatever reason, whether financial, emotional, etc. Just because I so desperately want a child, does not mean that every other woman should have to keep their pregnancies.

I do recognize, however, I'm probably in the minority opinion when it comes to women experiencing IF.

Posted 9/9/08 7:23 AM
 

architectnycity
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

2592 total posts

Name:

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

There should have been another choice to the poll. Had an unplanned pregnancy and raised the child.

Posted 9/9/08 8:40 AM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by Bxgell2

Posted by MrsRivera
I did want to share my opinion without horribly offending anyone...but I do want to be one voice of someone who struggled and will continue to struggle with IF in the future. I think those of us that struggle to get pregnant may have a slightly different perspective on the matter--at least I do.



I'm struggling with IF, and have been for almost 2 years now, and I suppose I'm one of the rare ones who doesn't have a different perspective on this.

In my opinion, hindisght is 20/20. Going through IF now, doesn't change the fact that I was very naive when I was younger. Going through IF now, wouldn't have changed the fact that I wouldn't have been prepared emotionally or financially for a child when I was in my teens. And going through IF now, wouldn't have given me the perspective then on how it truly is a miracle to create a life.

And even now, as I face IF, I can empathize with a woman who is facing a pregnancy that she simply cannot sustain, for whatever reason, whether financial, emotional, etc. Just because I so desperately want a child, does not mean that every other woman should have to keep their pregnancies.

I do recognize, however, I'm probably in the minority opinion when it comes to women experiencing IF.



Very well said Beth.

Posted 9/9/08 9:51 AM
 

babymakes3
Almost there!

Member since 7/06

7376 total posts

Name:

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by babymakes3

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by dandr10199

WOW.


ONE.


ONE person who gave their child up for adoption. I cannot say I am shocked, but I am disappointed and saddened by the results of the poll. Chat Icon


Whoever you are, I want you to know that in my opinion you are VERY brave and a hero. Chat Icon



I feel the same way. Saddened. I'm sad that so many women had to make such a difficult decision in their lives.

And I agree with you...to the person who gave their child up for adoption, I can't even imagine the strength that it took to do such a wonderful thing. As the best friend of an adoptive parent, you can't even imagine the joy in both the parent & the child's life that you've given.Chat Icon



I agree with Barb and Dina on being disappointed and saddened by the results of the poll, and in admiration for the birth mother who gave their baby up for adoption instead of terminating.

As a Aunt to TWO babies who were given up for adoption.... I have seen firsthand the many emotions involved in giving a child up for adoption and seeing the baby be held by their adoptive parents for the first time.



I just wanted to clarify. I'm not disappointed about the poll results - or in those women that made the difficult choice they did. I'm sad that they went through what they did & were forced to make a hard choice (no matter what that choice was).



I'm disappointed and saddened because I wish these people had known more about protected sex and their bodies enough to hopefully been able to prevent having to make this decision.

Posted 9/9/08 10:14 AM
 

JRG71
*****************

Member since 5/05

5025 total posts

Name:

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by monkeybride

Posted by Bxgell2

Posted by MrsRivera
I did want to share my opinion without horribly offending anyone...but I do want to be one voice of someone who struggled and will continue to struggle with IF in the future. I think those of us that struggle to get pregnant may have a slightly different perspective on the matter--at least I do.



I'm struggling with IF, and have been for almost 2 years now, and I suppose I'm one of the rare ones who doesn't have a different perspective on this.

In my opinion, hindisght is 20/20. Going through IF now, doesn't change the fact that I was very naive when I was younger. Going through IF now, wouldn't have changed the fact that I wouldn't have been prepared emotionally or financially for a child when I was in my teens. And going through IF now, wouldn't have given me the perspective then on how it truly is a miracle to create a life.

And even now, as I face IF, I can empathize with a woman who is facing a pregnancy that she simply cannot sustain, for whatever reason, whether financial, emotional, etc. Just because I so desperately want a child, does not mean that every other woman should have to keep their pregnancies.

I do recognize, however, I'm probably in the minority opinion when it comes to women experiencing IF.



Very well said Beth.



I agree.

Very well said Beth.

Posted 9/9/08 10:21 AM
 

BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here

Member since 5/07

8274 total posts

Name:
BunnyWife

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by babymakes3


I'm disappointed and saddened because I wish these people had known more about protected sex and their bodies enough to hopefully been able to prevent having to make this decision.



And this is why abstinence education doesn't work. People will still have sex and know even less about their bodies and birth control. Look at Sarah Palin's kid who I'm sure was taught nothing about birth control.

Posted 9/9/08 10:30 AM
 

futuremommy
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/07

840 total posts

Name:

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by Bxgell2

Posted by MrsRivera
I did want to share my opinion without horribly offending anyone...but I do want to be one voice of someone who struggled and will continue to struggle with IF in the future. I think those of us that struggle to get pregnant may have a slightly different perspective on the matter--at least I do.



I'm struggling with IF, and have been for almost 2 years now, and I suppose I'm one of the rare ones who doesn't have a different perspective on this.

In my opinion, hindisght is 20/20. Going through IF now, doesn't change the fact that I was very naive when I was younger. Going through IF now, wouldn't have changed the fact that I wouldn't have been prepared emotionally or financially for a child when I was in my teens. And going through IF now, wouldn't have given me the perspective then on how it truly is a miracle to create a life.

And even now, as I face IF, I can empathize with a woman who is facing a pregnancy that she simply cannot sustain, for whatever reason, whether financial, emotional, etc. Just because I so desperately want a child, does not mean that every other woman should have to keep their pregnancies.

I do recognize, however, I'm probably in the minority opinion when it comes to women experiencing IF.



I absolutely agree with you. This is the true essence of Pro-Choice.

Posted 9/9/08 10:39 AM
 

SecretName21
LIF Zygote

Member since 4/07

12 total posts

Name:
Secret

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by Bxgell2

I'm struggling with IF, and have been for almost 2 years now, and I suppose I'm one of the rare ones who doesn't have a different perspective on this.

In my opinion, hindisght is 20/20. Going through IF now, doesn't change the fact that I was very naive when I was younger. Going through IF now, wouldn't have changed the fact that I wouldn't have been prepared emotionally or financially for a child when I was in my teens. And going through IF now, wouldn't have given me the perspective then on how it truly is a miracle to create a life.

And even now, as I face IF, I can empathize with a woman who is facing a pregnancy that she simply cannot sustain, for whatever reason, whether financial, emotional, etc. Just because I so desperately want a child, does not mean that every other woman should have to keep their pregnancies.

I do recognize, however, I'm probably in the minority opinion when it comes to women experiencing IF.




Thank you for posting this!

Posted 9/9/08 10:46 AM
 

Marcie
Complete Happiness :)

Member since 5/05

27789 total posts

Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by babymakes3


I'm disappointed and saddened because I wish these people had known more about protected sex and their bodies enough to hopefully been able to prevent having to make this decision.



I understand your disappointment - but you (not you specifically) have to look at it from different points of view too.

What is a girl was forced to have unprotected sex?

What if a girl was raped?

What if there was an abusive partner or spouse?

I know this has happen to someone I know - so that is why I am putting it out there.

There could be other factors

I am not naive and think that this is these are the only reasons an unplanned pregnancy can happen, but some other factors

Posted 9/9/08 10:53 AM
 

Superkat
More a stranger than a friend

Member since 5/06

9730 total posts

Name:
K

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by drpepper318

Posted by smdl

I honestly did not realize it would be so high.



me too Chat Icon



Honestly, I actually thought the number would be higher.

Posted 9/9/08 11:03 AM
 

MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!

Member since 7/06

12020 total posts

Name:
MJ

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by Superkat

Posted by drpepper318

Posted by smdl

I honestly did not realize it would be so high.



me too Chat Icon



Honestly, I actually thought the number would be higher.




I thought so too--I think even with an anonymous poll---people are avoiding this topic. In my life I have known sooooo many people who had them.

Posted 9/9/08 11:06 AM
 

AnastasiaBeaverhausen
LIF Zygote

Member since 12/07

5 total posts

Name:

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

frequent poster using an anonymous name for obvious reasons


I had an abortion at 21

I abstained from sex until I was 20. I was in a monogamous relationship with my first partner when I got pregnant. We always used condoms. We were using a condom that night, but it broke. I remember the night vividly.

I made my choice and I have no regrets. There was no way I was ready to have a child, emotionally or financially, and I was not about to put that burden on anyone else.

It took me and my husband 2 years to conceive our first child. We're now blessed with 2 wonderful and beautiful children. Even now, being a mother, I still have no regrets. I'm grateful that I had the choice.

Posted 9/9/08 11:09 AM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by AnastasiaBeaverhausen

frequent poster using an anonymous name for obvious reasons


I had an abortion at 21

I abstained from sex until I was 20. I was in a monogamous relationship with my first partner when I got pregnant. We always used condoms. We were using a condom that night, but it broke. I remember the night vividly.

I made my choice and I have no regrets. There was no way I was ready to have a child, emotionally or financially, and I was not about to put that burden on anyone else.

It took me and my husband 2 years to conceive our first child. We're now blessed with 2 wonderful and beautiful children. Even now, being a mother, I still have no regrets. I'm grateful that I had the choice.




Chat Icon I cannot imagine living in a world where we do not have that choice

I am all for sex eductaion and teaching kids about safe sex but the reality is, there WILL be unwanted pregnancies and I am glad we have the right to choose Chat Icon

Posted 9/9/08 11:11 AM
 

dgtlsunshine
LIF Infant

Member since 12/05

217 total posts

Name:

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...


I was completey floored when I found out my insurance company did not cover birth control. This same company covers viagara and abortions. I just never thought that living in the USA that would be even allowed.

There is too much wrong in the beginning of the process for us to focus on the end and remove choice.

It would be a complete disaster.

Posted 9/9/08 11:20 AM
 

babymakes3
Almost there!

Member since 7/06

7376 total posts

Name:

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by Marcie

Posted by babymakes3


I'm disappointed and saddened because I wish these people had known more about protected sex and their bodies enough to hopefully been able to prevent having to make this decision.



I understand your disappointment - but you (not you specifically) have to look at it from different points of view too.

What is a girl was forced to have unprotected sex?

What if a girl was raped?

What if there was an abusive partner or spouse?

I know this has happen to someone I know - so that is why I am putting it out there.

There could be other factors

I am not naive and think that this is these are the only reasons an unplanned pregnancy can happen, but some other factors



I know that too.

There are so many layers to the issue.

I should've added that I think a little education could go a long way for those who did not get pregnant under duress.

Posted 9/9/08 11:28 AM
 

HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.

Member since 10/06

15979 total posts

Name:
BahBahBlackJeep

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by stephanief
Chat Icon I cannot imagine living in a world where we do not have that choice

I am all for sex eductaion and teaching kids about safe sex but the reality is, there WILL be unwanted pregnancies and I am glad we have the right to choose Chat Icon



It's the truth and I think unless you have lived through it, you just don't understand just HOW important having the right to choose is.

The notion that someone, ANYONE could have the POWER to tell ME what I can or cannot do with MY body is a VERY scary notion for me.

I do believe educating our children on practicing safe sex is VERY important but also, I think making sure our DAUGHTER, SISTERS, NIECES, FRIENDS you name it, think enough of themselves to INSIST their partner uses protection.

I know for me, when I got PG I didn't have the esteem to stand up to the LOSER I was with and tell him NO you MUST wear a condom. I was a mouse (I know, hard to believe now Chat Icon) but I was and I didn't stand up for what I knew was right and because of that I had to pay the price.

I think if we focus on education and making sure girls and women out there take care of themselves we will be able to reduce the amount of unwanted pregnancies.

I think just telling kids to "just not have sex" is a farce. They're not going to listen. It's like underage drinking... It's illegal, but has it stopped ALL kids from drinking? No.

I don't think making abortion illegal is going to stop teens from having sex so we need to be proactive on the other end of the process so fewer girls and women have to make the gut wrenching decision I and MANY others out there had to make.

Posted 9/9/08 11:34 AM
 

VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!

Member since 5/05

9252 total posts

Name:
Deb

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by dgtlsunshine


I was completey floored when I found out my insurance company did not cover birth control. This same company covers viagara and abortions. I just never thought that living in the USA that would be even allowed.

There is too much wrong in the beginning of the process for us to focus on the end and remove choice.

It would be a complete disaster.



Good point. My former insurance company did not cover bcp - I only got it covered because I used it for other reasons as well.

Posted 9/9/08 5:50 PM
 

Shorty
.

Member since 5/05

30390 total posts

Name:
really

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Neither. And personally, I never could.

Posted 9/9/08 6:08 PM
 

Cheeks24
Living a dream

Member since 1/08

8589 total posts

Name:
Cheeks

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Voted!

Posted 9/9/08 6:22 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

wow - 87 abortions on here!!!! I'm so sorry you ladies had to go through that!!! Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/9/08 9:48 PM
 

Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!

Member since 7/05

15652 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

Posted by lipglossjunky73

wow - 87 abortions on here!!!! I'm so sorry you ladies had to go through that!!! Chat Icon Chat Icon



I know -- it makes me sad that girls that I might "know" through here ---- there are some that I've been on the whole parenting journey with for a few years now and I feel like I know them....it makes me sad that it could be them, that they could have had to have that experience.

The discussion has also gotten me curious about 2 other questions, 1 - if people had more then one abortion, and 2- about unplanned pregnancies who kept the baby.

I fall into the latter. I had an unplanned pregnancy.

Posted 9/9/08 10:12 PM
 

mememememe
LIF Zygote

Member since 9/08

1 total post

Name:
r

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

I am a regular poster, but I wanted to be able to speak openly about my past, so I decided to create a fake name. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I terminated a pregnancy, but I know so many people on here IRL, and I generally do not tell anyone about this part of my past.
I have never once regretted my decision to not have the baby. It also was not a hard decision for me. I was 18 and in a relationship with someone for about a year when I got pregnant. We always had protected sex, but that one time, the condom broke. I think I did the absolute best thing for myself. I had just started college and had no means of supporting a child. Ontop of that, I also knew that my boyfriend at the time was bi-polar and mentally unstable at times. The thought of bringing a child into this world that could end up like him was truly horrifying to me. He was a ticking time bomb, and while I loved him, in my heart I knew I did not want him to father my child and I did not want to be with him or connected to him for the rest of my life. For him, mental illness ran in his family, and I was so scared of the kind of horrible cycle that my child would fall into, at no fault of his/her own. I later broke up with him, and felt confident that I made the right decision every step of the way. He supported my decision and understood my reasoning. He also was very scared of having a child with the same mental instabilities that he had.
I honestly thought that having my own child would make me regret my decision, maybe make me realize that what I did was wrong. But that didn't happen because what I did was right for me. I now have a beautiful child and a wonderful husband and I thank goodness I was able to have the choice to terminate my pregnancy.
I never thought that I would have to make that decision. Never. But I made it and I am glad I did.
I support every woman's opinion about abortion. If you're pro-life and think it's horrible to have an abortion, then stand behind that with conviction, and if you're pro-choice, do the same. But what it comes down to is that we all do what we think is right and we all do the best we can at any given moment.

Posted 9/9/08 10:38 PM
 

wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!

Member since 12/07

7364 total posts

Name:
aka marriedinportjeff

Re: I was thinking about the recent abortion debates...an anonymous poll...

I just want to say to all the women who are openly discussing their difficult decisions that I am amazed by all of you.... very gutsy and strong..... You all have my utmost respect Chat Icon

Message edited 9/9/2008 11:01:47 PM.

Posted 9/9/08 10:59 PM
 
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