Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.

Posted by dandr10199

I am preggo and Rachel I agree with you.

However, I would just book a girls weekend with my friends and tell DH, "since I want some time to MYSELF before the baby comes too, I booked a weekend ______ with two of my friends. I would rather go with you but you wanted to go to Chicago, with out me, so I am going to __________ with __________ on ________". Just tell him what you are doing and let him deal with it, like he did to you.

Rachel, I would be pi$$ed. It is one story if you told him it was OK for him to go and then got pi$$ed when he went. It is another thing when he just booked it without asking how you felt about it. Then, once you told him you wanted to go away with him, he should have changed his plans, IMHO.

I am sorry you have to deal with this cr@p at 8 months preggo. My DH has been doing a bunch of stuff with his guy friends "before the baby comes" because he thinks he will not be able to do it after she is here. DH & I had a loooong talk about this a few weeks ago and I told him that he will still be able to hang with his friends and do all the fun guy things he has always done. I also told him that I will need a "girls night out" on occasion as well as "shopping with the girls" on an occasional Saturday. We agreed that we will both need "friend" and "me time" just to keep our sanity once the baby is here.
Maybe you can reassure him that he can do these guy things after the baby is here.

Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.

Posted by dandr10199

Posted by Bxgell2

I would be upset... I think you have every reason to be. This is the wrong time in his life to have one last "hurrah" before baby comes. This is exactly the time that the two of you should be spending quality time together before everything changes. DH joked about going down to Miami for business when I was 8 months pregnant, and staying for a few extra days. I nipped that in the bud, and instead, we took a babymoon to Las Vegas... I don't think you're being overly emotional at all, especially because he promised to make it up to you and never delivered. I understand he's probably a little freaked about having a baby, but SO ARE YOU. After all, you're the one who has to carry the baby for 9 months and experience all the difficult emotional and physical changes to your body, not to mention delivery!!! You deserve a trip more than anyone else in this scenario... seriously, if I were you, I'd say screw the money and I would go away with a few girlfriend's for a weekend. You certainly deserve it, and honestly, you'll need it... your life is about to change in so many ways and you'll look back and wish you had taken a little bit of time to relax for yourself beforehand...

Well Said! I could not agree more.

Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.

Can you wish that the game gets rained out so he ends up flying to Chi for nothing? Or is that really evil!?

I hope you can get to the bottom of all of this because it seems like you have a bunch of resentment building up and that's not good for you, the baby or your marriage. Can you plan a spa day after work that day and get a nice massage in return for yourself.

I know pregancy is tough on alot of guys, because unlike us they don't have the connection to our little ones until they are born and our hormones can make us totally unpredictable so not only is the thought of having a baby scary, but so are we to them.

Hopefully if the game does go on he will bring home some cute baby item and it will make your heart melt when he brings it in (but I hope your not stuck picking him up at the airport!!) and hopefully he realizes that this is the last time he gets to go on a airplane to see a game for a long time....

It's amazing some of the changes Dad's go through so I wouldn't give up on him yet. I'll pray that he comes through in the end for you!!

Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.

If money is an issue (and it sounds like you're a big saver & planner), I would try to have a relaxing, low-key few days by myself or a close friend. I would do a pregnancy massage, pedicure, etc & try to think as many positive things as I can rather than a trip away. Just you & the princess for a few days. Go out east, relax, brunch with a friend (not the negative one that wasn't so nice, a more positive one).

I know it's hard to not be upset especially when you are rightfully so, but it's better not to stew about this (if you still are).

Re: I really need to be nice. Vent.

I would be upset over the fact that he worked OT to get ahead for the trip and doesn't do it just because.