I need help

I'm really embarrassed to post this but I even more embarrassed to talk to anyone else. DH isn't talking to me. He's very angry. I have no sex drive at all. I wish I could blame it on the pregnancy but I didn't even have one before I got pregnant. It's causing a big problem and I don't know what to do.

Re: I need help

Couples sometimes find themselves in a rut like that. What about spicing things up. Maybe getting some toys or something?

I know it worked for me when I was feeling that way.

No, I have no drive because of the PG. I am just too tired!

ETS: Once we "spiced it up" we really felt emotionally closer and we definately both wanted it more frequently. Sorry if TMI.

Message edited 3/12/2006 7:05:40 PM.

Re: I need help

Thanks for the advice but we both are not into toys. I don't know what to do. I really feel like crap.

Re: I need help

I feel that same way you do. DH is understanding however, that it is even harder to do the dead with a growing human in my belly. He is actually scared of hurting the baby.

I am not into the kinky stuff as well.

If you find a way to make your sex life better, please tell me. I'm very embarassed when it comes to sexual acts.

This is constantly on my mind.

Re: I need help

I am so sorry you are going through this.
My relationship is the complete opposite - DH is the staying away.
Maybe sit down with him and talk to him about it.

Re: I need help

One thing I've noticed with myself..is that anytime i've not been in the mood or the drive is kind of gone, the best thing to get it started is to honestly start kissing...just making time to show affection, whether its kissing, a massage etc...you'd be surprised how quickly the drive can turn around. I hope things work out and get better for you! Don't worry too much

Re: I need help

Thanks girls. He seems much better. I guess he needed some time alone. I guess I really just have to work on it.

Re: I need help

Our sex life hasn't been too active either recently. I think for us there's a combination of things- DH is a little nervous about it, and I just haven't really felt like it. I'm always tired before him and I'm sleeping by the time DH comes to bed. So I'm open to any good suggestions too. So don't worry, you're not alone in this.

Re: I need help

Thanks

Re: I need help

My DH is scared to do it as well. Finally last night I couldn't take the dry spell anymore and forced him to do it....hahaha!

Re: I need help

Why exactly is he not speaking to you? Is it because overall your drive is down, or because of one thing?

Hormones can easily bring your sex drive down..it is very natural. Also, feeling very tired, uncomfortable about your "new" body...all of that comes into play.

To be VERY honest with you, Scott and I could barely be together for nearly a year after I had Molly. I had scaring/adhesions that caused me severe pain during intercourse..I mean, shooting thru the roof type pain. It was awful. Add that PPD to it and it was not fun. It took nearly 10 months before my doctor could figure out what was wrong. Then I had my surgery to remove the adhesions and things were much better- no more pain.

Our relationship did not suffer from this though..we pulled together because that is what we needed to do. We continued to communicate and talk and figure out what was best.

Talk to him...if he is not speaking to you that probably doesn't help you feel that you want to be intimate either..he is not helping, only making things much worse IMO.

Re: I need help

At this point in my pregnancy I don't wanna see another penis for a long long time!! Too bad for hubby!! LOL

Re: I need help

Re: I need help

I think communication is the key... just like with any problem. I would be most upset that he isn't talking to you.

Even if you have no sex drive there are other things that you could do to - uh- pleasure him. Either way, you need to work out something that works for the both of you. Maybe a really romantic date or activity would put you in the mood. Or making our and kissing your DH.

Good luck.