I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

And I'm getting more and more upset by it because she's starting school in a couple of weeks.
Ok, let me see if I can explain this. You know how after you wear a pair of pants all day, you get like indentations in your skin? She's OBSESSED with that and will stand there feeling her "hickley pleats", as she calls them. She thinks they're prickly heat, which they're not, and no matter how many times I tell her to stop, I still catch her with her fingers in her waistband, feeling her "hickly pleats". It's so embarrassing to have your kid standing around with her hands in her pants. I mean, it's not her whole hand in her whole pants, its just her fingers in her waistband, like towards her hips, but it looks really bad and it's really embarrassing when we're out in public and people are giving her dirty looks. Please tell me how to stop her. I am just so at a loss because she doesn't even realize she's doing it now. I curse the person who drew it to her attention and told her it was prickly heat (that would be my mom, btw )

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

I am going to be reallllllllllllllllllly honest and say that I don't think it's a problem at all and I just can't imagine why it embarrasses you. She's a little girl and little ones are still figuring out their bodies. The fascination WILL pass. If someone gives her dirty looks - you should give them a dirty look back.

Of course... I am the one who's 6 year old can still be found with a finger up his nose from time to time. And my boys are also still acclimating to the idea that you can't just adjust your junk whenever you feel like it in public.. so take it from where it comes!

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

As a parent of a child who had these fixations from the age of about 3-5, I can commiserate. Nick would change his behaviors about every six months, and it was very embarassing in public. He would rub his hands together constantly, then we went to compulsive handwashing, then nosewiping. The worst one was what we called "the echo." He would say something normally, then repeat himself ina whisper: "Mom, I want some juice. (whisper: I want some juice.)" It was mortifying, but he outgrew it and is now a totally normal 8 year old.

I can tell you that the more attention you give it, the worse it will get. Nick would get embarrassed when I or my husband would call attention to it and would make him even more compulsive. It actually got better when we totally ignored it.

I hope the situation resolves itself!!

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

People are giving dirty looks to a toddler?

Oh boy...

My advice is to not give it any attention. If you don't make it a big deal, neither should she.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

I would really try and ignore it.

My daughter had a fixation at one point of picking her nose in public or anywhere for that matter - in the beginning I always drew attention to it - then we decided to ignore her and eventually after a few days it got old and she stopped. The last week all she would say was "Friggen this, friggen that"....I have a habit of saying that when i drive or just to myself sometimes..lol....well my daughter was saying that for a few days, I was mortified to say the least. Lets just say I stopped saying it and so did she. I also didn't draw attention to it when she said it.

They like to be silly as this age and refuse to listen to you when you constantly tell them something. If you ignore it, they might forget it.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

My DD isn't at that age yet but the advice these other ladies gave seems right on point.

to anyone that thinks it is appropriate to give a toddler dirty looks for any reason. Seriously, their lives must suck.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

The thing is, Ava looks 5, not 3, so I guess people think she shouldn't be doing weird things anymore. Whatever the case is, I guess you're right, I should just ignore it. It's not like she's got her hands all the way in her pants. And not for nothing, the one who started the problem (my mom) is the one who makes me feel the worst about it. She's so great. Anyway, thank you girls for making me feel better about it.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

I'm a kindergarten teacher and I am around 5 year olds all day long-believe me nothing your daughter is doing is out of the ordinary! I think its the nature of 5 year olds to do things that make us cringe! I agree with the PP to just ignore it and it will eventually go away on its own. She is just being a little kid-and as for the people giving you dirty looks, ignore them!!! They are judgemental and rude.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

Put her in soft cotton dresses and just her undies. You can get away with that for the next few months. By then, she will probably be over it.

Just ignore people. Anyone who has ever had a child knows how they are.

Message edited 8/17/2009 7:23:29 PM.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

Message edited 11/29/2011 5:19:03 PM.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

I don't think it's wierd - kids like to explore and touch what feels different to them. I would put her in soft leggings or dresses for the next few weeks and hope she forgets about it. Or can you tell her you are putting on some magic lotion to make it go away and just put baby lotion on her before you dress her?

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

Posted by prncsslehcar

The thing is, Ava looks 5, not 3, so I guess people think she shouldn't be doing weird things anymore. Whatever the case is, I guess you're right, I should just ignore it. It's not like she's got her hands all the way in her pants. And not for nothing, the one who started the problem (my mom) is the one who makes me feel the worst about it. She's so great. Anyway, thank you girls for making me feel better about it.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

I can't help but laugh because she must look so cute saying that!

I know you are embarrassed, but if people are giving her dirty looks, there is something wrong with them. Try not to be embarrassed and try not to draw attention to it. I learned with DD, the less attention I give her, the more likely she is to stop that activity.

Don't be embarrassed, it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

i agree with the above posters, i think the best thing to do is to ignore the behavior. it will eventually stop.

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

I was going to suggest the same as a previous poster... try cotton dresses and maybe she won't get the marks

Re: I have a problem with Ava that I'm really embarrassed about.

Posted by CouponMom

I was going to suggest the same as a previous poster... try cotton dresses and maybe she won't get the marks

Message edited 8/17/2009 10:31:54 PM.