I am really shaken up by what I just heard...am I over reacting?

I hired a mother's helpers and today was her first day. She is playing with the kids while I clean.

Some background info....DS is 4 and DD almost 3. We use a babysitter maybe 3 times a year and she came highly recommended to us and the kids really love her.

So back to today. The kids are in the basement and I was in the foyer (the door to the basement is in the foyer and it is a tiny basement so you hear everything. DS says to the mother's helper that he doesn't want to clean up anymore. She tells him that they only have a few more things to pick up. He then says "how about we play touching bellies?" . She said "no it's ok, you can touch your belly if you want". Then I call him upstairs and asked him about that game and how you play it. I was really nice about it. Right away he go very defensive and tried to leave me. He wouldn't tell me about the game or where he learned it from. He finally showed me and it was him sticking his finger in his belly button.
This is the first time I have ever heard him say that to anyone. He knows that nobody is suppose to touch him except me, DH and the doctor when either me or dh are present. He doesn't even let me pull back his foreskin since the doctor showed him how.
I wouldn't really have thought much about it except the fact that DS didn't want to tell me anything about it at first and wasn't very cooperative. As if he knew it was wrong.

I am really freaked out by this. Also, would you tell the mother's helpers mother about it? She didn't come upstairs and tell me and she didn't make a big deal about it. I just don't want her upset about it.

Re: I am really shaken up by what I just heard...am I over reacting?

I would definitely talk to him about it again.

I can't say if you are over reacting but I would be concerned too. I mean, it could be nothing or it could have been an inappropriate something.

I would mention it to ANYONE he is or has EVER been alone with too.

if they look like that game could have originated from them, I would have to have a long chat about things.

that it's nothing.

ETA: I would mention it to the mother's helper. maybe even ask her to talk to him about the game. he may feel comfortable and open up about it's origins, if you are comfortable enough with her to allow her to.

Message edited 5/21/2010 5:31:09 PM.

Re: I am really shaken up by what I just heard...am I over reacting?

I think I would have to know your son and the tone in which he was talking. I mean from reading that it was him touching his belly button, it did not seem strange to me. Maybe some game he just made up.

Re: I am really shaken up by what I just heard...am I over reacting?

I agree with the suggestion to have your mothers helper talk to him about it if your comfortable..since he brought it up to her, he may seem more comfortable to talk to her about since it's not "mommy" in a strange way if you KWIM...like he's her "friend"....

Re: I am really shaken up by what I just heard...am I over reacting?

I would just ask her. From the way he asked her to play it may be something they have played before-or not.

If its bothering you you should def. just ask her about it. I would.

Re: I am really shaken up by what I just heard...am I over reacting?

I don't think it's overly crazy, but I also think I am taking this differently.

Does "touching bellies" mean a finger touching a belly - or - does it mean like belly bopping? I can see this as a game which would be funny to kids.

Does he go to preschool or anything like that where they might play an innocent game like that?

Re: I am really shaken up by what I just heard...am I over reacting?

Re: I am really shaken up by what I just heard...am I over reacting?

Hmmm....this is a tough one. Obviously YOU know him best and know what his normal behavior is. I'd like to think it's perfectly harmless and maybe another kid at school showed him or something, but again, you know him best.

Re: I am really shaken up by what I just heard...am I over reacting?

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by CouponMom

I don't think it's overly crazy, but I also think I am taking this differently.

Does "touching bellies" mean a finger touching a belly - or - does it mean like belly bopping? I can see this as a game which would be funny to kids.

Does he go to preschool or anything like that where they might play an innocent game like that?

I know, I'm kind of thinking it has to be an innocent game that he learned at school. Jack and I will do "Belly, belly belly" and hit our bellies. KWIM.

I would talk to him about it again though to ease your mind!