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CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...
Member since 8/11 3550 total posts
Name:
Cindy
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I am heartbroken...
because my very best friends were due with their first child on 8/14...a baby girl named deena...I have been texting to see if she had the baby and I got a text from her today that the baby died...I dont know the details but she said that she died before she was born... she said she would call us when they were ready but I have no idea what to do...I know they will need time but I want to do something for them...I wont call them until they are ready but I feel so helpless...I wish I could be there for them...Should I just leave them be until they are ready? I dont want to send flowers but maybe a card?
I found this website:
http://www.glowinthewoods.com/how-to-help-a-friend/
I dont know if doing anything is appropriate right now...I am completely lost...any suggestions?
Message edited 8/15/2012 6:54:07 PM.
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Posted 8/15/12 6:41 PM  |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am heartbroken...
Oh my God... that is unbelievable. Your poor friend. 
If she specifically said that she would call when ready, than I would give her space. I think a card or even a meal sent to the home would be a good gesture.
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| Posted 8/15/12 6:46 PM |
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TyReseGreen
Lil Prince is here
Member since 8/11 6338 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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I am heartbroken...
So sorry to hear that! I would send a card. When they are ready they will reach out. It took me about a month before I was ready to see or even speak to anyone outside of my immediate family after my fetal demise at 27/28 weeks so give them time.
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| Posted 8/15/12 6:51 PM |
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I am heartbroken...
Oh no! I am so very sorry for your friends and family. I would say you did the right thing and let her know you were there for her. I would send a card just reitoriating that. I wouldn't send anything more just yet. I will say a prayer for them.
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| Posted 8/15/12 7:01 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: I am heartbroken...
I think a card is the best idea for now. Once they are ready, you can do something nice for them.
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| Posted 8/15/12 7:15 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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I am heartbroken...
I'm so sorry I would send a sympathy card with a note about how much you love her and how sorry you are. If she's religious I would go to the local church and get a prayer card. I don't know anything about the loss of a child but I did lose both my parents and what helped me was knowing there were friends I could call anytime even if they didn't understand what I was going through.
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| Posted 8/15/12 8:28 PM |
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CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...
Member since 8/11 3550 total posts
Name:
Cindy
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Re: I am heartbroken...
Posted by WannaBeAMom11
I'm so sorry I would send a sympathy card with a note about how much you love her and how sorry you are. If she's religious I would go to the local church and get a prayer card. I don't know anything about the loss of a child but I did lose both my parents and what helped me was knowing there were friends I could call anytime even if they didn't understand what I was going through.
They actually are religious but I am not...can I just go to the church and ask for a prayer card?
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| Posted 8/15/12 8:30 PM |
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6months
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/08 598 total posts
Name:
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I am heartbroken...
I have been through what your friend is going through and please respect her wishes by not doing anything right now - not even a card or flowers. Wait a few weeks.. say first week of September send a card. She asked to be left alone so please do that. This is about her and her family, not what we think we should do.
Message edited 8/15/2012 8:46:55 PM.
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| Posted 8/15/12 8:35 PM |
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Providence718
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/11 820 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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I am heartbroken...
When this happened to a girl at work with her little boy she asked for no cards or flowers be sent to her .. Just saying
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| Posted 8/15/12 8:36 PM |
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CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...
Member since 8/11 3550 total posts
Name:
Cindy
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Re: I am heartbroken...
Posted by 6months
I have been through what your friend is going through and please respect her wishes by not doing anything right now - not even a card or flowers. Wait a few weeks.. say first week of September send a card.
I think I will wait until she contacts me again...I sent her a text saying we were deeply sorry and we are here for them if they need anything...she thanked me...so I may leave it alone...I just want her to know that we love them and we are so sorry that this has happened...I hope they know that
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| Posted 8/15/12 8:46 PM |
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6months
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/08 598 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am heartbroken...
good idea mama2b. the only real healer is time...and even that is not enough. My stillbirth was over 2 years ago and I have a 16 month old son but the emotions are still raw when I randomly think about it. She will come to you... although she may never talk about and you shouldn't bring it up either. Take ALL your cues from her.
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| Posted 8/15/12 8:49 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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I am heartbroken...
i just wanted to give 
i am sooo sorry for your friend. i think just offering your support is all you can do for now.
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| Posted 8/15/12 8:58 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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I am heartbroken...
Oh my God how sad They must be absolutely devastated, and I am sure you are for them, too. My co-worker had this happen to her, too. She was inconsolable and didn't return to work till the next year, Just letting them know you're thinking about them is wonderful. Do what you feel is right. xoxo
Message edited 8/15/2012 9:01:24 PM.
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| Posted 8/15/12 9:01 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: I am heartbroken...
Cindy, I am so sorry to hear this about your friends. My heart BREAKS for them
When we had my first loss, friends of ours sent us a card in the mail, and also did this (click) . You could read about it.... they plant a tree in memory of the baby. There may be other similar programs, but that's the one they used. It came with two little tree charms. My dh keeps his on his keychain as a little memento of what we lost.
Besides that, just offer to listen... Unfortunately, there's just nothing else you can do. This is just horrible.
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| Posted 8/15/12 9:08 PM |
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Re: I am heartbroken...
i would definitely send a card. you already know what is going on, and i wouldnt want to come off like im ignoring what theyre going through. i would just express how you are there for her when she is ready to talk. im soo so sorry.
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| Posted 8/15/12 9:24 PM |
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Re: I am heartbroken...
Wow...I am so sad for your friend. What a horrible thing to happen. I would give her some time. I am sure that she is just in shock right now. MAybe send a card but then wait until she is ready to see people or talk about it. A card would let her know you love and are thinking about her but giving her space to do deal with this in her own time.
One other thought...maybe having food or dinners delivered. That would be thoughtful too.
Message edited 8/15/2012 9:28:13 PM.
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| Posted 8/15/12 9:27 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: I am heartbroken...
i am so so sorry..i wish i had a better word..how heartbreaking and devastating
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| Posted 8/15/12 10:26 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9924 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am heartbroken...
My friend loves caramel so I sent her a basket of fresh apples and a jar of caramel. With a "thinking of you during this difficult time."
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| Posted 8/15/12 10:36 PM |
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bookworm
Two Little Rosebuds
Member since 8/09 2106 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am heartbroken...
Oh how awful I feel like the best thing you can offer in that situation is yourself...depending on how close you are. Send a card, drop a line, but be okay with not getting a call back. Whatever they need: make dinner so they don't have to, help them clean, pack up the nursery (horrible). These are the kinds of things that help when you're grieving.
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| Posted 8/16/12 7:07 AM |
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LoLaBlue
PARTY OF 5
Member since 6/10 6900 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am heartbroken...
Posted by PitterPatter11
I think a card is the best idea for now. Once they are ready, you can do something nice for them.
ita this- Im so sorry your friends have to go through such heartbreak
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| Posted 8/16/12 8:12 AM |
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MrsM429
Mama x2 <3
Member since 12/10 4946 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am heartbroken...
Wow, I am so sorry to hear 
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| Posted 8/16/12 8:18 AM |
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Re: I am heartbroken...
So sorry for your friend's loss, that's awful.
Maybe sending a meal or fruit basket?
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| Posted 8/16/12 8:55 AM |
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frio85
LIF Adult
Member since 8/11 1164 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: I am heartbroken...
OMG! I am so sorry to hear that. Just give them some time, maybe when time passes you can do something more for them. 
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| Posted 8/16/12 10:14 AM |
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snowflake3
LIF Infant
Member since 7/12 159 total posts
Name:
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I am heartbroken...
How terrible. Maybe a gift card to a local delivery restaurant? I am so sorry.
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| Posted 8/16/12 2:04 PM |
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sweetie101
you make me smile :o)
Member since 5/08 4419 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am heartbroken...
IM sorry for your friends loss
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| Posted 8/16/12 2:08 PM |
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