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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
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How would you react to this?
How would you react if your 19.5 year old got a fake ID. She usually tells me alot but I found out when I used her car. I confronted her, she acts like its no big deal. I was one of the ones at her age that did not use a fake ID.
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Posted 6/18/18 1:20 PM  |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
How is she in other terms. Does she behave do you believe she doesn't drink and drive? Is she going to school and doing well?
If she is then I would not make such a big deal about it. Is the fake ID Of someone else? I had one or two of them. They got taken away by cops.
I would tell her she could get in trouble and she should be smart and careful
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:25 PM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by blu6385
How is she in other terms. Does she behave do you believe she doesn't drink and drive? Is she going to school and doing well?
If she is then I would not make such a big deal about it. Is the fake ID Of someone else? I had one or two of them. They got taken away by cops.
I would tell her she could get in trouble and she should be smart and careful
Drinking and driving I dont worry about. She ubers alot of places when she goes out. She does really well in school, so that part is ok. She is a really good kid (as far as I am aware)and told me one of the girls i know that her mom is ok with it( i know the mom but wont ask her).
its all her info and picture just making her older.
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:28 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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How would you react to this?
How do people even get fake ID's these days? The DMV in NY has a whole bunch of security measures in their ID's. People actually copy those? I don't know how I would react. But, if she was living at home and I was paying for her college, for her to potentially throw that away by using a fake ID, I would NOT be happy. Using a fake ID is a felony in some states, not sure about NY
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:29 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by blu6385
How is she in other terms. Does she behave do you believe she doesn't drink and drive? Is she going to school and doing well?
If she is then I would not make such a big deal about it. Is the fake ID Of someone else? I had one or two of them. They got taken away by cops.
I would tell her she could get in trouble and she should be smart and careful
Pretty much all of this.
I frequented bars at her age (and earlier), though I found no IDs were really needed back then. So I don't think I'd be too upset. From what little information you gave, she sounds like she's pretty open with you about what's going on in her life so I'd imagine you generally trust her and her judgement. I think making a big deal out of it might hurt that trust and she'd be hesitant to keep that open dialogue with you. Personally, I also think the drinking age should be 18... or perhaps the voting/consent/army age should be 21. If we can trust 18 year olds to elect our president and fight our wars, they should be able to have a drink IMO.
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:31 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by rebeccamol
Posted by blu6385
How is she in other terms. Does she behave do you believe she doesn't drink and drive? Is she going to school and doing well?
If she is then I would not make such a big deal about it. Is the fake ID Of someone else? I had one or two of them. They got taken away by cops.
I would tell her she could get in trouble and she should be smart and careful
Drinking and driving I dont worry about. She ubers alot of places when she goes out. She does really well in school, so that part is ok. She is a really good kid (as far as I am aware)and told me one of the girls i know that her mom is ok with it( i know the mom but wont ask her).
its all her info and picture just making her older.
I wouldn't stress it too much and IMO at 19.5 what can you really do. I get she lives in your house your rules etc but technically she is an adult.
Again I would try to guide her on why it probably isnt the greatest idea. And hope she does the right thing
I only had one that was a picture of me. It was "chalked" and I learned the hard way its very easy to tell its fake 
If this a whole ID printed with just wrong information I am impressed it can be done esp. with the new ones it must be very hard to do.
Message edited 6/18/2018 1:36:07 PM.
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:33 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
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M
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Re: How would you react to this?
I’d ask her what she uses it for.. clubs and bigger liquor stores have the scanners, so if she tries it there, she’s getting arrested.. if she uses it at mom and pop places she should be fine..
As someone who had one, I didn’t get caught, but I wasn’t naive enough to use it anywhere. So make sure she’s ready for the consequences, but ultimately if she’s a good kid, I’d let her make her own mistakes. But I only have a 9 YO, so my advice probably isn’t the best, so keep that in mind 
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:33 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by blu6385
How is she in other terms. Does she behave do you believe she doesn't drink and drive? Is she going to school and doing well?
If she is then I would not make such a big deal about it. Is the fake ID Of someone else? I had one or two of them. They got taken away by cops.
I would tell her she could get in trouble and she should be smart and careful
Pretty much all of this.
I frequented bars at her age (and earlier), though I found no IDs were really needed back then. So I don't think I'd be too upset. From what little information you gave, she sounds like she's pretty open with you about what's going on in her life so I'd imagine you generally trust her and her judgement. I think making a big deal out of it might hurt that trust and she'd be hesitant to keep that open dialogue with you. Personally, I also think the drinking age should be 18... or perhaps the voting/consent/army age should be 21. If we can trust 18 year olds to elect our president and fight our wars, they should be able to have a drink IMO.
off topic but I was just talking about this esp now that cigarette laws have been up to 21. So we can send 18 year olds to war and potentially die but hey your not allowed to legally smoke or drink till 21. Yes that make sense!!
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:35 PM |
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rebeccamol
LIF Adult
Member since 10/13 975 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by mommy2B3
I’d ask her what she uses it for.. clubs and bigger liquor stores have the scanners, so if she tries it there, she’s getting arrested.. if she uses it at mom and pop places she should be fine..
As someone who had one, I didn’t get caught, but I wasn’t naive enough to use it anywhere. So make sure she’s ready for the consequences, but ultimately if she’s a good kid, I’d let her make her own mistakes. But I only have a 9 YO, so my advice probably isn’t the best, so keep that in mind
From what she tells me she says college bars is what its for. she said most kids had one in her first year, shes going on her second. I know I have to just trust her, and hope I brought her up to make good decisions.
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:37 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by mommy2B3
I’d ask her what she uses it for.. clubs and bigger liquor stores have the scanners, so if she tries it there, she’s getting arrested.. if she uses it at mom and pop places she should be fine..
As someone who had one, I didn’t get caught, but I wasn’t naive enough to use it anywhere. So make sure she’s ready for the consequences, but ultimately if she’s a good kid, I’d let her make her own mistakes. But I only have a 9 YO, so my advice probably isn’t the best, so keep that in mind
Would a liquor store actually call the cops on an underage kid trying to use fake ID? I would think they would deny them the sale and tell them to get lost but to call the cops? Seems a bit harsh.
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:38 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mommy2B3
I’d ask her what she uses it for.. clubs and bigger liquor stores have the scanners, so if she tries it there, she’s getting arrested.. if she uses it at mom and pop places she should be fine..
As someone who had one, I didn’t get caught, but I wasn’t naive enough to use it anywhere. So make sure she’s ready for the consequences, but ultimately if she’s a good kid, I’d let her make her own mistakes. But I only have a 9 YO, so my advice probably isn’t the best, so keep that in mind
Would a liquor store actually call the cops on an underage kid trying to use fake ID? I would think they would deny them the sale and tell them to get lost but to call the cops? Seems a bit harsh.
I was thinking this too and even if she did get arrested I doubt in the end should would even get a record for it. I feel like even if the cops were called they would probably take it away and give her a warning.
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:40 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by rebeccamol
Posted by mommy2B3
I’d ask her what she uses it for.. clubs and bigger liquor stores have the scanners, so if she tries it there, she’s getting arrested.. if she uses it at mom and pop places she should be fine..
As someone who had one, I didn’t get caught, but I wasn’t naive enough to use it anywhere. So make sure she’s ready for the consequences, but ultimately if she’s a good kid, I’d let her make her own mistakes. But I only have a 9 YO, so my advice probably isn’t the best, so keep that in mind
From what she tells me she says college bars is what its for. she said most kids had one in her first year, shes going on her second. I know I have to just trust her, and hope I brought her up to make good decisions.
I was so not a kid that got into trouble and even I had one in college. This was before scanners so any id worked at a small town college bar. Looking back, the biggest thing I would worry about was putting yourself in a vulnerable position while you're drunk. I think I would have frequent conversations about all the what ifs and how not to end up in a bad situation. 
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| Posted 6/18/18 1:54 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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How would you react to this?
Honestly at that age I'd just make sure she knew that under ANY circumstances she can call me if she needs me i.e., a ride home, drank too much, lost her wallet at 4am and no questions asked. I'd stress that she must not drink and drive. There's nothing else you really can do. It's sort of normal in college. If her college town is anything like mine, she could show a library car and get in.
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| Posted 6/18/18 2:09 PM |
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LizD
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/06 763 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: How would you react to this?
the only thing that would make me worry is if my DD was trying to do what I did at that age LOL
She's open with you and you trust her so I wouldn't worry about it. Just have a long talk on drinking and driving and to be careful in bars - be with friends - no one leaves with anyone they didn't come with - never leave drinks unattended - etc.
I honestly don't think trying to get into a bar with a fake ID will get anyone arrested so I don't think I would even worry about that
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| Posted 6/18/18 2:42 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by LizD
the only thing that would make me worry is if my DD was trying to do what I did at that age LOL
She's open with you and you trust her so I wouldn't worry about it. Just have a long talk on drinking and driving and to be careful in bars - be with friends - no one leaves with anyone they didn't come with - never leave drinks unattended - etc.
I honestly don't think trying to get into a bar with a fake ID will get anyone arrested so I don't think I would even worry about that
I agree with all this.
And I can't tell you how many times I was denied entry to a bar due to my fake ID but the bouncers just kind of laughed at me and said- nice try- get out of here.
Nobody called the cops.
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| Posted 6/18/18 2:55 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by blu6385
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mommy2B3
I’d ask her what she uses it for.. clubs and bigger liquor stores have the scanners, so if she tries it there, she’s getting arrested.. if she uses it at mom and pop places she should be fine..
As someone who had one, I didn’t get caught, but I wasn’t naive enough to use it anywhere. So make sure she’s ready for the consequences, but ultimately if she’s a good kid, I’d let her make her own mistakes. But I only have a 9 YO, so my advice probably isn’t the best, so keep that in mind
Would a liquor store actually call the cops on an underage kid trying to use fake ID? I would think they would deny them the sale and tell them to get lost but to call the cops? Seems a bit harsh.
I was thinking this too and even if she did get arrested I doubt in the end should would even get a record for it. I feel like even if the cops were called they would probably take it away and give her a warning.
It would depend on the establishment, but I had a few friends get the cops called on them ((I’m 31 now so 12-14 years ago)) .. I also worked at a police station on a college campus for 5 years and our officers did arrest kids with fakes. I probably should have said “could” get arrested, as opposed to just that they would, but it’s not like 20 years ago where people gave kids passes, I feel more owners are a lot stricter in these instances bc owners can lose their liquor license which is a lot of money.
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| Posted 6/18/18 3:12 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by rebeccamol
Posted by mommy2B3
I’d ask her what she uses it for.. clubs and bigger liquor stores have the scanners, so if she tries it there, she’s getting arrested.. if she uses it at mom and pop places she should be fine..
As someone who had one, I didn’t get caught, but I wasn’t naive enough to use it anywhere. So make sure she’s ready for the consequences, but ultimately if she’s a good kid, I’d let her make her own mistakes. But I only have a 9 YO, so my advice probably isn’t the best, so keep that in mind
From what she tells me she says college bars is what its for. she said most kids had one in her first year, shes going on her second. I know I have to just trust her, and hope I brought her up to make good decisions.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I used it for too and never had a problem.. half the time those bars don’t even card lol .. she sounds like a good kid, the fact that she’s open with you is awesome!
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| Posted 6/18/18 3:16 PM |
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Re: How would you react to this?
Don't be naive to think she can only get in trouble trying to get into a bar or liquor store with a fake ID.
She carries the fake with her right? If she were to get stopped or even be a passenger in a car that was stopped for a simple MV issue the police might find it that way. And there's a good chance she would/could be arrested.
She just needs to accept whatever consequences follow if she were to get caught.
My neice was a back seat passenger with 3 other girls who all had fakes. They were stopped for a light out. The cops saw the fake and the 3 girls were arrested. They even towed the car away. My neice did not have a fake but got a ticket for not wearing a seat belt. The other girls all had to hire lawyers. They eventually got off but it cost them $$$. My neice was the only one that had to pay her ticket for no seatbelt.
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| Posted 6/18/18 3:38 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
My step daughter just finished her freshman year of college and she has a fake ID. My SD is a little bit of a nerd (not that it's a bad thing at all...I'm just trying to describe her so that you get the picture) so I was a little relieved she had it because I'm happy she is socializing and not just studying. I want her to have the full college experience. I'm usually pretty conservative but I feel like you need that when you are away at college so you can go to wherever the party is.
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| Posted 6/18/18 3:42 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by halloweenbabe
Don't be naive to think she can only get in trouble trying to get into a bar or liquor store with a fake ID.
She carries the fake with her right? If she were to get stopped or even be a passenger in a car that was stopped for a simple MV issue the police might find it that way. And there's a good chance she would/could be arrested.
She just needs to accept whatever consequences follow if she were to get caught.
My neice was a back seat passenger with 3 other girls who all had fakes. They were stopped for a light out. The cops saw the fake and the 3 girls were arrested. They even towed the car away. My neice did not have a fake but got a ticket for not wearing a seat belt. The other girls all had to hire lawyers. They eventually got off but it cost them $$$. My neice was the only one that had to pay her ticket for no seatbelt.
How did the cop see the fake?
Did they accidentally show it to the cop instead of their real licenses?
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| Posted 6/18/18 3:56 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: How would you react to this?
I wouldn't even think twice about it to be honest. Everyone has a fake ID. I had au pairs and all of the underage au pairs were able to order fake ID on the internet. And they are all allowed to drink legally in the countries they were coming from so it was so odd for them to come here and be underage again.
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| Posted 6/18/18 4:00 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this?
I think times have changed and it's not as easy to use a fake ID now as it was when I was in college (15ish years ago!  ). But OP is not asking how to help her daughter use the fake ID.
It's much easier to get caught now since a lot of places scan it. I'm sure someone underage knows of the bars that don't scan - just like we knew the bars that were easier to get in with fakes. So I would have a frank discussion about the repercussions of her getting caught, permanent record, etc.
Other than that, I would just let her know that she can call you any time for anything. No questions asked, and no repercussions (from you).
You certainly don't want her to risk getting behind the wheel if she were drinking or if her friends were drinking. You don't want her to second guess telling you if she (or a friend) drank too much and wasn't sure what to do. Things like that. We've seen too often when young adults are too afraid to call 911 when someone drank too much for fear of getting in trouble. An adult is more clearheaded and knows that safety comes first.
Protect your daughter as much as you can, but she's growing up and has to make her own decisions. Just be her safety call if she made some wrong decisions so that you can help her out.
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| Posted 6/18/18 4:22 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11489 total posts
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Völlig losgelöst
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Re: How would you react to this?
I had a fake ID when I was that age. I was “Cynthia.” I would just have a discussion about not drinking and driving.
Getting arrested wouldn’t really be a concern, and just tell her, hey, show your real ID.
We all did things like this.
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| Posted 6/18/18 4:23 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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How would you react to this?
She sounds like a good kid and smart enough not to get caught. As long as she’s responsible and chooses the “right” places to use it, I’d let it go.
It’s nothing the rest of us didn’t do at her age.
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| Posted 6/18/18 4:32 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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Re: How would you react to this?
Posted by klingklang77
I had a fake ID when I was that age. I was “Cynthia.” I would just have a discussion about not drinking and driving.
Getting arrested wouldn’t really be a concern, and just tell her, hey, show your real ID.
We all did things like this.
I was Cammie.
Cammie's license was expired too but I chalked the expiration date. The licenses were like a yellowy color back then and so much easier to manipulate.
It worked about half the time, maybe more.
One time I got caught because I was wearing one of those diamond name plates that was so popular back then and it had my real name on it. The bouncer called me out on that one!
After that I always remembered to tuck that into my shirt when showing my ID!
Ah, the good old days.
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| Posted 6/18/18 4:58 PM |
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