How would you feel about this?

Please don't quote

There was a lot of stress/back and forth about my shower location. The final decision was to hold it in Long Island and my mom to do a smaller one in NJ for family.

My mom invited my mother in law and sister in law to come to NJ too. Before even knowing the date, my mother in law says no way, they are too busy.

My mom is coming to both showers to participate in the party and celebrate the baby. My mom feels slighted that she wouldn't even consider leaving Long Island - it's only an hour and half drive, not too bad.

How would you feel about this?

Re: How would you feel about this?

I guess everyone's relationships are different, so it's hard to judge. My MIL couldnt make my shower and she called me at the party crying because she felt so bad. It really sucked that she wasnt able to make it but I know how badly she wanted to and that's really what mattered. (she was in another country celebrating her mother's 100th birthday- I'd feel horrible if she missed that because of my shower).

But regardless of the relationship I'd be hurt, even if there are two showers. It sounds like maybe your IL's dont agree with the second shower idea? Sorry you're going through this- just try to enjoy both days!

Re: How would you feel about this?

I could see if it was a date she couldn't make but I'd be pissed that she just said she couldn't make it at all. Especially since you mom is going to the other. I hate when families make this stuff hard on us. I'm sorry she is doing this.

How would you feel about this?

I had 2 showers and my ILs only came to the local one. Not a big deal IMO

Re: How would you feel about this?

Posted by Strawberry2468

I could see if it was a date she couldn't make but I'd be pissed that she just said she couldn't make it at all. Especially since you mom is going to the other. I hate when families make this stuff hard on us. I'm sorry she is doing this.

Re: How would you feel about this?

Posted by gina409

Posted by Strawberry2468

I could see if it was a date she couldn't make but I'd be pissed that she just said she couldn't make it at all. Especially since you mom is going to the other. I hate when families make this stuff hard on us. I'm sorry she is doing this.

this what is the reason she is not coming

Re: How would you feel about this?

That sounds really rude of her IMO. She can't be bothered for one day to drive a bit out of her way for her daughter-in-law and new grandbaby? I wouldn't be very happy. Sorry you're dealing with this.

Re: How would you feel about this?

I'd be annoyed since she has no real reason for not attending. Although if it were my mother in law she would RSVP yes and then just not show, so at least yours is being upfront.

Re: How would you feel about this?

What if your Dh offered to drive her? Is there a deeper reason?

Re: How would you feel about this?

sounds like my mother in law from the beginning.....even prior to marriage....planned a day to go out with my mom and her to look for dresses for the wedding and then out for a nice lunch.....when i called her to see what time to meetup she said oh geez i forgot im on my way up to my summer house for the weekend and so our dysfunctional relationship began from then on....i would definitely be upset but try to not let it ruin your good time because bottom line she's not worth it, your mom is there and thats all the matters

Re: How would you feel about this?

Cant she ride with someone?? That is the most ridiculous reason not to go, unless there is some other reason she is being spiteful. I wouldn't even want her there to be honest.