how would you feel

so a week ago i found out that dh will be the godfather to our niece and his cousin will be the godmother. i am floored. especially since with their first child (who we spoiled rotten) they chose sil's brother and his fiance (his fiance wasnt even his fiance at the time) i am beyond offended. dh says he doesn't feel comfortable asking them why they didn't ask me. i am so hurt i don't even wanna go to the baptism (of course i will)

i know alot of people have a thing against me but i'd really appreciate if you didn't respond if you're gonna say something nasty.. ok TIA

Re: how would you feel

Well, to answer your initial question on how i would feel- I would feel very hurt, who wouldn't in that situation.

Does you sil have some problem with you? do you get along with them?

Re: how would you feel

sil definitely doesn't have a problem with me. no one in the family does. i can understand that they wanted their cousin to be the god mother but they already admitted that they're gonna have 1-2 more kids. i am just so hurt i cried for like an hour straight

Re: how would you feel

I would definately be hurt, I feel like anybody would! Maybe they were trying to break it up, make it even like between friends? (You know, not choose two people from the same "family" to kinda spread it out?) My best friend was the maid of honor to a mutual friend and when that girl had her first baby, she chose her DH's sister to be the godmother. Idk, sometimes people just don't realize how much their actions will affect another person. Chances are, as that baby grows and you are still close to the child, it won't make a difference who is the godmother, the child will love you regardless!!

Re: how would you feel

As a mother I only chose blood related family members only b/c things happen . But from your point of view I understand why you are offended but maybe they didnt think about it like that

Re: how would you feel

If they plan to have more children perhaps they want you to be Godmother to one of the next. Perhaps the cousin made a fuss about the fiance being chosen and they needed to quiet her. DH has relatives from different branches of the family as Godparents, not from the same family so it's not all that unusual. Perhaps you could mention at an appropriate time how honored DH feels to be chosen and you hope you get to be Godmother to one of their next children. They may volunteer at that point their reasoning for passing you by this time.

Re: how would you feel

If it really bothers you then you should ask them. It won't change anything, but at least you'll know why they chose her instead.

Re: how would you feel

i don't feel i could ask them. i feel it's rude. and it's my husband's brother. for their last child, they chose HER brother and her brother's fiance. not blood related. hell, they weren't even engaged at that time! that's why i kinda felt like it would be dh and me for their 2nd baby. and i definitely dont see them choosing me as a godmother to another child. it wouldnt make sense. especially considering what the true duties of being a god parent is. i wish dh would talk to them but he wont

Re: how would you feel

knowing they chose her brother and gf at the time then yes i would be insulted and upset because you are married so more family than the gf was
unfortunately there isn't much you can do people can choose whoever they want to be the godparents and there isn't much you can do about it,

but i really would be upset too

Re: how would you feel

I would really not want to choose someone who is not blood related to be a Godparent...choosing someone's GF is really taking a chance...I do not agree with that

Re: how would you feel

I completely understand how you feel; I'd be hurt, too.

However, in my family, we all have one godparent from my mother's side, and one from my father's. My aunt & uncle did this w/ their kids, and a few of my friends did it this way as well, and when it's my turn I probably will, too.

I wouldn't bring it up, and wouldn't pressure DH to either; it would just make the situation awkward, IMO.

Sorry your feelings got hurt!

Re: how would you feel

I would probaby be hurt but at the end of the day , it is their decision that they should not have to justify

Sorry you feel bad though

Re: how would you feel

Maybe she got to choose the Godparents for the first baby and he chose the Godparents for this one and he feels more comfortable having family only.
That would be my guess...I have a friend who used that method to choose their godparents for all three of their children (they split the third - she chose the Godmother and he chose the Godfather).

Just trying to offer some insight.