How to explain Alzheimers to a child? LONG

Our neighbor, who my early elementary school DC is very close to, has Alzheimers and it is getting very bad. She has a home aide living with her now and I spoke to her daughter today and they are putting her in a home very soon bc she can't be on her own anymore and needs more care than the aide can give her.

DC is very close to said neighbor, has been since the day DC was born. Has always gone to visit, told her about DC day, if we bake cookies or something, always insists on bringing some to her.

I started noticing something wasn't right about 2 months ago. She would tell me something, then say, go into the kitchen, come back out and tell me the same story. Then she asked me DC name one day and I KNEW something was wrong.

She fell a few weeks ago, was in rehab and hasn't been the same since. It happened so fast. DC saw her outside walking with her aide, ran up to her to give her a hug and she didn't know who DC was. It broke my heart, for both of them.

At the time, I told DC she was just being silly, but now that she will be gone soon and I know she has no idea who we are anymore, that I will have to tell DC something. It is going to break my heart. They are so close, always have been for some reason. She even insisted that DC call her Grandma Linda and DC does.

What do I say? I want to prepare DC should she not know who DC is again and for her not being around anymore.

How do you explain this? I am so sad for both of them. It was such a special relationship for just neighbors and it breaks my heart. I just don't know what to say to DC to help DC understand without giving too much information or scaring DC.

Message edited 2/19/2013 9:29:45 PM.

Re: How to explain Alzheimers to a child? LONG

Honesty (in a level that the child can understand) is the best policy. I think you can simply state that sometimes when people get old, they have trouble thinking and remembering things and making good decisions, so she is going to live somewhere where it's easier for her to make good and safe decisions and where people can help her to do that. You can even go over all the responsibilities adults have in their lives and their homes, or all the safety measures we have to remember to take (like look both ways before crossing the street) if DC is more the interactive type and seems to want to explore the topic further. I'd also reassure DC that this does not happen to everyone as they get older.

You could also work with your child to make cards, write and mail a weekly update letter, etc. so that there is still a connection.