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How do you handle this?

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sami
So very blessed!! Thank u !!

Member since 8/06

6524 total posts

Name:

How do you handle this?

Back in December I had a m/c I was 13 weeks I was beyond upset I cried everyday I still even cry now! Anyway How do you handle when someone says ...So when are going to have a baby? I just tell them I had a misscarriage their jaws hang open. One woman proceded to even ***** ask me How I had the m/c. I will never forget I was about 22 years old and I asked someone when she was going to have a baby her answer to me was I cant. Ever since then I dont ask! Okay I'm done with my pity party thanks for reading.Chat Icon

Posted 3/10/07 9:51 AM
 
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mosh913
baby boy coming spring '11

Member since 5/05

3133 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you handle this?

My response to "When are you going to have a baby?" would be, "when I do.." and smile and walk away. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/10/07 9:53 AM
 

rose825
Best Friends

Member since 6/05

10228 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you handle this?

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I cant even imagine how hard that must be. Chat Icon

Posted 3/10/07 9:57 AM
 

Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!

Member since 5/05

20046 total posts

Name:
Gerty ®

Re: How do you handle this?

OMG...What a terrible story. It never ceases to amaze me how inconsiderate and crass some people are.
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Posted 3/10/07 10:02 AM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: How do you handle this?

Honestly - I would say EXACTLY what you just said, "You know, when I was 22...."

1st of all, it teaches the other person a lesson about what you might be going through, and 2nd of all, it makes them realize that they are asking a question that they should have learned not to ask a looong time ago!!!

Posted 3/10/07 10:19 AM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13103 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: How do you handle this?

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Posted 3/10/07 10:51 AM
 

LIBOUND
Texting king

Member since 10/05

5289 total posts

Name:
Suzy

Re: How do you handle this?

Honetly, I lie.

I just can't deal with telling my family and friends what we are going thru.

Posted 3/10/07 11:10 AM
 

sami
So very blessed!! Thank u !!

Member since 8/06

6524 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you handle this?

Posted by LIBOUND

Honetly, I lie.

I just can't deal with telling my family and friends what we are going thru.



I cant lie I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Posted 3/10/07 11:31 AM
 

Secret4Now
LIF Toddler

Member since 12/06

411 total posts

Name:
In due time. No pun intended.

Re: How do you handle this?

One of my friends literally says, "stay outta my uterus" when people ask her.

Sorry for your m/c!!!!!

Posted 3/10/07 12:02 PM
 

MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!

Member since 2/07

7254 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you handle this?

I HATE the "so when are you going to have kids?" question. I also get the "**** needs cousins to play with.
My family knows that I have PCOS and I want a baby more than anything so it's lessened but my distant relatives don't know and if they do- they must've forgotten b/c I get it all the time. I just tell them eventually... and then either change the subject or walk away.

Posted 3/10/07 5:43 PM
 

Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!

Member since 5/05

20046 total posts

Name:
Gerty ®

Re: How do you handle this?

Posted by sami

Posted by LIBOUND

Honetly, I lie.

I just can't deal with telling my family and friends what we are going thru.



I cant lie I wear my heart on my sleeve.



That's the way I am...Chat Icon

Posted 3/10/07 5:53 PM
 

CAT215
The Merlster

Member since 10/06

2540 total posts

Name:
Cathie

Re: How do you handle this?

I'm sorry that you had to go through that Chat Icon

Depending on who asks me depends on what I say. Sometimes I say I hate kids, that usually shuts people up or I'll say "do I ask you about your sex life?" that also can be quite effective. Or I just tell them what is going on, but I hate it when they then go all mushy and start to over pity me, if you know what I mean?

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Posted 3/10/07 6:03 PM
 

cjik
Welcome 2010!

Member since 2/06

8879 total posts

Name:

Re: How do you handle this?

I'm really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. My sister has had 3, and I know they have been really tough for her.

I haven't miscarried, but I'm not getting pregnant. If someone close to me asks, I will tell them about our problems. People close to us don't usually ask though (most know, others seem to respect our privacy).

I like the "When we do" response. If someone I don't know asks, I'll usually just say "Maybe one day" or "We'll see". I don't feel like getting into it with those people.

I am sorry you have to deal with this insensitve crap. It is a private issue, and people shouldn't ask frankly. You could tell your story, as someone else suggested. That may help educate people.

Posted 3/11/07 6:20 PM
 

LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis

Member since 8/06

11613 total posts

Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)

Re: How do you handle this?

I'm usually nice about it and say, well, when we're ready we'll have one.

But I really want to say, I'll have a baby when you have tact!

Posted 3/12/07 7:15 AM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: How do you handle this?

I don't ask anyone this question.. it is just none of my business so that is why I don't ask. To me it is like asking someone when they are going to marry their boy/girlfriend, buy a house, how much they have in savings, how much they paid for their house etc...it is just rude.

I would just say "That is really none of your business"

Posted 3/12/07 9:53 AM
 

DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!

Member since 1/07

9537 total posts

Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)

Re: How do you handle this?

My current response is "do you have any idea how insensitive this question would be to a couple facing infertility issues?" That causes faces to become quite red, the offensive individual usually starts stammering (after turning red), and they generally walk away with their tail between their legs. At other times it has been "why do people ask this question?" followed by a diatribe about how it's not anybody's business when (or if) a couple is going to have kids, and anything else I can think of.

Posted 3/12/07 11:09 AM
 

calendargrl
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

1686 total posts

Name:
jan

Re: How do you handle this?

I'm sorry, I know how hard it is. I don't tell anyone I am TTC when they ask I blow them off and say maybe next year....but yeah it gets really annoying.

I hope you get your BFP soon.Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/12/07 3:30 PM
 
 

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