THEY GAVE MY 7MO. OLD TEA w/ LEMON!!!! PLEASE HELP...How do we handle this??

Although I am lucky to have my bestfriends parents who are retired watch my daughter while my husband and I work, there is a downside. First let me say that they are the closest thing to second parents to me and we love and respect them immensely….I’ve known them for 15 years….They have 6 wonderful adult children of their own and they love Sydney as though she were one of their own grandchildren…(They refer to themselves as Nana and Grandpa).

BUT, there have been a couple instances where they did something that I didn’t agree with.. Here’s the issue: This week Sydney developed the beginnings of a cold... nothing to worry too much about. Before she went to bed a couple nights I put the Baby Vics on her chest and neck under her heavy pajamas. Well apparently, she was coughing while she was with them yesterday and they decided to give her “just a little tea with lemon.” When I went to pick her up yesterday and noticed an extra bottle, I asked them what else they gave her (I normally bring the bottles and the food that she will eat each day.) and this is how I found out. I realize that I can be a bit overprotective and mildly neurotic as a first-time mom that doesn’t want to do anything wrong but this, to me, is CRAZY. She is only 7.5 months! If she’s coughing and you are concerned, call-me and I will call the doctor or come and get her. Taking it upon yourself to remedy the situation is not the correct way to address it.

I asked them not to give her tea anymore but I am still really upset. All I can think about is that one and a millionth chance of my daughter being allergic to something in the tea, etc., then what?! Aside from the tea (and I pray it was decaf) it’s the principle of the thing. We’ve had a lesser but similar issue before and they understood from then that we don’t want her to have anything other than what we send for her each day. Though they were well-intentioned, they went against her parents wishes. How do we handle this??? My husband and I plan to have a discussion with them today when we pick her-up but I want to be judicious with how we handle it. We want them to understand that we love and respect their opinions and know they love Sydney but they must follow our direction. So upset and angry, please help!

Re: THEY GAVE MY 7MO. OLD TEA w/ LEMON!!!! PLEASE HELP...How do we handle this??

honestly ....and this is just my opinion I feel that you need to calm down a bit before you talk to them

It was just tea and they didnt hide it from you so if she has an allergic reaction you know that it was from the tea
your child is 7 1/2 months so thats not so bad (by 3 or 4 months my nephew was licking lollipops)
I think you should just tell them how much you respect them but please dont give your child things without telling you first

I think her pride will be hurt if you go in there and be so stern Remember they have 6 grown children so I am sure she will feel she knows Best

good luck

Re: THEY GAVE MY 7MO. OLD TEA w/ LEMON!!!! PLEASE HELP...How do we handle this??

I can totally empathize with you. I've had similar issues with my sitters because my sitters are my DAD and his wife. So you can imagine, being that my Dad raised ME, he sometimes feels knows better than me what is right for my son. And that is unnerving.

Though I have reacted (or some might say overreacted) the same way you are reacting when they did something I didn't agree with, I have to agree with the above poster. I know how hard it is but try to relax. For me, when stuff like this has happened, I need to give myself several hours to calm down and get rational again because my first thought is always "omg, I have to find a new sitter". I panic, I call my DH, he helps calm me down (sometimes- because sometimes he gets freaked too) and then I realize that everything is okay and it's going to be okay.

I say what I need to say to them - please don't give him ANYTHING to eat that I do not bring for him - and leave it that. You can't really approach them in a reprimanding way. Like you said, you have alot of respect for them and obviously you trust them to take good care of your baby, so I think telling them once simply and plainly, without much fuss should be enough. If you sit them down and lecture them about how to take care of your child (especially when they've raised their own children) is going to be condescending to them. You don't want to insult them, you just want them to understand that they should follow your instructions for watching your baby and to call you if they have any questions.

I don't think giving the baby tea is so so bad, but like I said, I can empathize and I would be freaking out too, at first. I think it comes with first-time mom territory.

Re: THEY GAVE MY 7MO. OLD TEA w/ LEMON!!!! PLEASE HELP...How do we handle this??

Thanks for your honest feedback. :) Maybe I am overreacting and need to use today to step away from it, so-to-speak.

In the past they have given her something that my pediatrician advised against even though I clearly communicated that I wanted to follow doctors orders. Without explaining the details, like in that instance, my impression was that they didn't mean for me to find out.

In any event, we love them and would never handle them in a less than warm manner. It is because we care so much about them and our relationship, that I came to LIF for feedback on how to handle this delicately but effectively.

Re: THEY GAVE MY 7MO. OLD TEA w/ LEMON!!!! PLEASE HELP...How do we handle this??

well I have to say that with my first child I was the same way but with the 2nd I was more relaxed and now I have 5 nephews ......SIL has 4 boys and by the 4th she is so relaxed that her 3rd fed the 4th and ice pop at 3 months and nothing happened(I am not suggesting this) but we are so nervous that we are gonna hurt them but a little tea isnt gonna hurt her so VENT here on LIF and then maybe you will just be able to get over it that way

Re: THEY GAVE MY 7MO. OLD TEA w/ LEMON!!!! PLEASE HELP...How do we handle this??

Wow! Thanks guys. I feel a little better already.