How do people do it all????

So I am CD#5 and this is our first cycle we are going to TTC since my MC last March. We are super excited to get this show on the road!

We live in a not so huge apartment....and we have been researching houses and programs for first time home buyers and if it is feasible for us to actually purchase a house in the near future.

We both have decent jobs (I am a teacher and he works for NYC department of transportation) and in my head all I can think about is how the heck can we afford a house AND a baby??!!! Not even that...but day care for a baby and a house??!!

This gives me so much anxiety and I do not know how people do this and survive!

So I guess this is a half vent/half question of how the heck is this done?

Re: How do people do it all????

What about looking into a condo or co-op? You can spend less on a co-op mortgage than you would on an apt if you have some money saved up for a down payment.

It is still a buyers market, so hopefully you can find a good deal.

I was asking all the same questions last year that you are asking now. We had a mortgage and no matter how hard we looked at scaling back, a child was not an option.
It's rough.

Re: How do people do it all????

I know what you mean! DH & I have good jobs, but we have a mortgage, car payments, student loans. I think sometimes how will we budget an extra $1k a month for a baby? Daycare can easily run $200 a week!

But i think people just make it work. The money we spend on eating out and vacations will now be saved for the added expense of a baby. No more spending money on lunch each day, little things that add up that help free up additional cash and you make it work. Maybe work overtime at work if you can, or one spouse can get a side job for the added income.

I'll admit the first year in our house was rough financially. We had saved up a lot of cash for closing, furniture, remodeling projects etc. I don't think we could have afforded a baby at that time too. We both came from living at our parents so we had to start completely from scratch.

Good luck!! Good thing is even when you get pregnant, the baby doesn't come for almost a whole year so that gives you time to save.

Sorry for such a long response!

Re: How do people do it all????

Re: How do people do it all????

i always wanted a house before a baby. last year we almost moved forward to buy but something held us back. then we were going to rent a more expensive house than our current place, and then someone took it before we could. i was crushed cause i thought it was pretty perfect...

then i delivered my DD almost 8 weeks early and was very sick for weeks after her birth and she was in the NICU. i couldn't go back to work after my 8w maternity and my company decided not to hold my job for me. i was able to get short term disability for 6 months after her birth cause i was in such bad shape. but now shes 10.5m old and although the time has been absolutely amazing being home with her, we are in a really bad situation money-wise. we were always a dual income family and didn't plan for this at all. in june we are moving into my MILs house. luckily its a 2-family and we are ending up with a bigger and better place for less money. we are very lucky to have the support of our families right now..

but moral of the story is, life is so unplan-able. unless you really have a nest egg to cover one of you being out of work for 6m or more, be really careful with the decisions you make regarding TTC and your home and finances. you just never know when something crazy is going to happen!!

Message edited 4/2/2012 11:02:28 PM.

Re: How do people do it all????

Posted by NewMrsG

Posted by Samira0407

I know what you mean! DH & I have good jobs, but we have a mortgage, car payments, student loans. I think sometimes how will we budget an extra $1k a month for a baby? Daycare can easily run $200 a week!

But i think people just make it work. The money we spend on eating out and vacations will now be saved for the added expense of a baby. No more spending money on lunch each day, little things that add up that help free up additional cash and you make it work. Maybe work overtime at work if you can, or one spouse can get a side job for the added income.

I'll admit the first year in our house was rough financially. We had saved up a lot of cash for closing, furniture, remodeling projects etc. I don't think we could have afforded a baby at that time too. We both came from living at our parents so we had to start completely from scratch.

Good luck!! Good thing is even when you get pregnant, the baby doesn't come for almost a whole year so that gives you time to save.

Sorry for such a long response!

No I love any responses!! Once our car is paid up in another 5 years ( ) that will free up cash for sure...buttttt I can't wait 5 years for a house! If you don't mind me asking how much did you have saved up for your closing..furniture...remodeling...etc? I just don't want to be in a whole we can't get out of!

A Condo are Co-op can be a nice option...but I still have such a hard time with paying for an apartment essentially! My friend just moved into an amazing co-op in Westchester...so if it were something like that I wouldn't rule it out...but I don't see DH wanting to pay for a condo

Re: How do people do it all????

Posted by Samira0407

Posted by NewMrsG

Posted by Samira0407

I know what you mean! DH & I have good jobs, but we have a mortgage, car payments, student loans. I think sometimes how will we budget an extra $1k a month for a baby? Daycare can easily run $200 a week!

But i think people just make it work. The money we spend on eating out and vacations will now be saved for the added expense of a baby. No more spending money on lunch each day, little things that add up that help free up additional cash and you make it work. Maybe work overtime at work if you can, or one spouse can get a side job for the added income.

I'll admit the first year in our house was rough financially. We had saved up a lot of cash for closing, furniture, remodeling projects etc. I don't think we could have afforded a baby at that time too. We both came from living at our parents so we had to start completely from scratch.

Good luck!! Good thing is even when you get pregnant, the baby doesn't come for almost a whole year so that gives you time to save.

Sorry for such a long response!

No I love any responses!! Once our car is paid up in another 5 years ( ) that will free up cash for sure...buttttt I can't wait 5 years for a house! If you don't mind me asking how much did you have saved up for your closing..furniture...remodeling...etc? I just don't want to be in a whole we can't get out of!

A Condo are Co-op can be a nice option...but I still have such a hard time with paying for an apartment essentially! My friend just moved into an amazing co-op in Westchester...so if it were something like that I wouldn't rule it out...but I don't see DH wanting to pay for a condo

We walked out of closing with about $20k saved. Which for some might be low but it was the extra money we managed to hold onto . That was eaten up pretty quickly when a project to take down and reface existing kitchen cabinets turned into a complete kitchen demo after we found problems behind the cabinets not discovered during our inspection! Then several thousands on new electrical work, hot water heatet, furniture and refinishing the wood floors.

We had enough saved for what we thought would cover a lot of first year expenses but all the unexpected costs started jumping out at us! We were only dating when we bought the house. We got engaged the year after and then married two years after that. We knew we personally couldn't afford to do everything all at once.

We are now comfortable with our monthly bills and fortunately don't have many unexpected costs coming. Even if you don't think you can buy a house right away save up every month it will help out when the time comes.

Re: How do people do it all????

i dont know how people do it either!!!
DH and i looked into buying a house and it would increase our monthly expenses more than $1000...which is actually do-able for us (and we have the down payment so that isnt a problem). But my reason for not looking to buy now is that we do want to have kids and daycare is at least another $1000 per month. increasing our bills $2000+ a month is just not realistic for us and we dont want to go into debt. our first priority is starting a family...we can make do with whatever space we have and when the time is right we can look to buy a place,.

Re: How do people do it all????

Re: How do people do it all????

There's an option to do an FHA mortgage where you only have to put down 3.5% but you have to pay mortgage insurance. Right now rates are REALLY low so you definitely can get a great deal. I think realistically you would need to think about a small starter home. The housing market on LI has dropped considerably. Start researching some areas and go to a few open houses and start from there. It might help you to go to a mortgage broker and go over your finances as well. Best of luck!

Re: How do people do it all????

Re: How do people do it all????

Honestly I put ttc and buying a house on hold for years because of one thing or another and now I regret it. We are now ttc and looking to buy a house and we figure it will just work out. After 14 months of ttc and no baby Im done putting things on hold.

Re: How do people do it all????

Crashing here. Truthfully some people just don't do it. We actually choose not to own a home while our girls are small. We could afford a home but we'd struggle and certainly wouldn't have a lot of money left over for any extras. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment in my parents home, pay cheap rent and save most of our money. I want to be home when my kids are small so for us I gave up earning a decent salary to earning a smaller salaray but I work from home. When my girls go to school I'll go back to work and we'll buy a home.

Re: How do people do it all????

I would have chosen baby over buying a home. I felt perfectly at home in my apartment. We got a large gift from my FIL before he passed away because he wanted to see us enjoy inheritance and that was our down payment. But like I said, I wouldn't have felt pressure to buy a house first.