heartbroken again - Update - RIP Bubba

My poor Bubba kitty isn't doing well at all. He had colon cancer. Diagnosed last December. Had surgery, chemo for 5 months and was a brand new kitty up until 2 weeks ago. We noticed he was eating less and brought him in for a recheck. Long story short, he's in the hospital now. He's not eating and he has fluid in his abdomen. They're going to do an ultrasound tomorrow. Who am I kidding? I know the cancer is back. It's just that it was a year ago almost to the day that we had to put our other cat, Mikey to sleep because he had lymphoma. I still cry over him, but we had Bubba, which helped us get through it. Now we have nothing. I'm a mess. We'll get more answers tomorrow, but I"m afraid we'll have to put him down tomorrow anyway. He's my baby and I don't know what I would do without him. I just had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago and I can't cope with any more loss.

UPDATE: Thank you all for you kind words. It really helps when you can pour your heart out to other pet lovers who understand the grief. We found out that the cancer is back and has pretty much spread everywhere. It happened so fast too. But they said he was stable enough to bring home for a few days or however long he lasts. The vet said he isn't suffering and that when we're ready, to bring him in. I know we'll know when it's time. I'm grateful to have just one more night with him in the house, hopefully a few more.

Update #2: Well today we took him in. I was looking for any sign that he wasn't ready. But he didn't give me any. We had him home for 2 days, which were wonderful and horrible at the same time. He didn't eat or drink at all on his own. I had to use a syringe to get water and blended food into him. His stomach was so bloated, he could hardly walk. He just slept a lot, but we did get him to purr a few times and brushed and pet him almost constantly. He kept straining in the litter box even though he hadn't eaten enough to even have to poop. The drive to the vet was horrendous. He perked up a bit with all the excitement, but that didn't last long. Like last year with our other cat, Mikey, we wanted to be there through the whole process. We both spent about 10 minutes with him before they came back in to do it. I needed to be there to pet him as it happened. I'm numb. We came home and cleaned up and threw out a lot of his things. I couldn't even look at it all. I just feel so empty.

Message edited 8/26/2009 8:17:26 PM.

Re: heartbroken again

I'm so sorry that you are going through this pain!!! I know it's hard, but try to stay positive. I can't imagine the pain you're going through. I'll everything is going to be ok.

Also, I'm so very sorry about your miscarriage. I know how painful & hard that can be.

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im so so so sorry!!!

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Michelle - no one should have to go through what you've been through in the past year.

Re: heartbroken again

Wow you have been through hell.


I know how hard the loss of a pet can be- it seriously was the worse thing I have had to go through so far.

I also know that there is nothing anyone can say to make it better..only time will do that.

Just hang in there and know that no matter what you gave your cats a loving home and a wonderful life.

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i am so sorry Michelle.. this is so awful..

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I am so sorry to hear about your kitty and your personal loss..

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I know how you feel. I lost my two kitties very close together.

I also had a m/c as you may know.

Hang in there. Your kitty cat loves you and knows you would do anything to make it better.

Re: heartbroken again - Update -

I'm so sorry

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I am so sorry you are going through this. Many prayers for your little one

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I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I'm glad you get a little more time with him that you can really make the most of. Sorry for your recent miscarriage too. Hopefully this time next year will be much better for you.

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a million for you and Bubba. i am so sorry Michelle.

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I can't imagine how difficult this time is for you...
Take care of yourself and your kitty...

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I'm so sorry, but enjoy the time you have left w/ him.

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I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.

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Re: heartbroken again - Update - RIP Bubba

Im so sorry!!

Re: heartbroken again - Update - RIP Bubba

Oh I am so sorry to hear your last update. I always cry when I read things like this on here.

I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you.
Just know that you did the right thing for him and he is no longer suffering and in pain.

Take care of yourself- do what you have to to get through it for now. (All i did for a week was eat horrible fatty junk food. I needed the comfort food)

Only time will help...

I am so so sorry!

Re: heartbroken again - Update - RIP Bubba

I'm so sorry for your loss!!

RIP Bubba

Re: heartbroken again - Update - RIP Bubba

Michelle, i am so sorry. you have been through so much. it's just not fair.

Re: heartbroken again - Update - RIP Bubba

I am so sorry!!

Re: heartbroken again - Update - RIP Bubba

I'm so so sorry!!!

Re: heartbroken again - Update - RIP Bubba

So sorry, I am sure you gave him the most amazing life

Re: heartbroken again - Update - RIP Bubba

Thanks everyone :) Today was so hard waking up without him. DH and I were just talking about it and we didn't realize how connected Bubba was to every single part of our life at home. Besides us being incredibly sad, we both also feel really unsettled about him not being here. When we lost Mikey last year, we still came home to a kitty, but now the house is empty and it just doesn't feel like home anymore. I purposely spent the whole day out, b/c I couldn't stand to be here without him. He was a constant, consistent source of absolutely joy for 13 years. Poor thing, I miss him immensely.

We are totally following the eating-crap-makes-us-feel-better philosophy. It helps. Just trying to keep our minds occupied and grieve in dribs and drabs.