| Posted By |
Message |
Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
|
Getting baby itch b4 husband??
Hey Ladies, I am sort of new to the site, spend most of my time on the Home page bc we just recently bought a house. I have a question and I hope this is the correct spot to ask - if not feel free to kick me out, lol. Anyway, recently I have been getting the baby itch REALLY bad. We are recently married (July) and just bought our first home (also July) so I know it is not the best time to start TTC, but I just can't help but think about it all the time! Which is very strange for me bc up until recently I always wanted to wait a couple of years and be settled in our house and marriage. It is like something just swithced in me overnight. Has this happen to anyone else? I have tried to bring up these feelings to DH but he is just not there yet. Which I can't blame him bc we just got through two very big things (wedding and buying house). He wants to wait 2 years and get our bills down, etc. And I totally agree with him that that is the best thing to do..... but it makes me sad. I never thought I would have such a baby itch, at least not this soon. I know all of you are TTC but did anyone go through this before TTC? I guess I just don't know how to pretend that I don't want to start TTC  Thanks ladies. Any advice, suggestions, misc. comments would be helpful!
Message edited 9/30/2008 2:28:54 PM.
|
Posted 9/30/08 2:27 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
you are more than welcome to post here as much as you like!!
i felt the same way as you!
DH and I thought that we would wait at least a year after we were married to start trying...but then it just HIT us.. out of nowhere and we threw "Waiting" out the window and just started trying right away.
i know it must be a little hard knowing that DH wants to wait longer.. but you never know.. 2 yrs is a long time,, he could get the "itch" like you did! so you will both know when the time is right!
i wish you the best of luck!! 
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:32 PM |
| |
|
MRSBA
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 923 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
I think there is always room for compromise as well.
My DH wasn't positive he wanted to ttc but when I talked to him about our ages (mid 30's) and how it might not just happen when we want it to - we came up with a compromise that we could both live with. I would have had a honeymoon baby if it was up to me.
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:37 PM |
| |
|
Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
Thank you. I guess your right and I know we should BOTH be ready.... it's just a crazy feeling when you first start feeling like you want this. I just wish DH was feeling it with me. I also feel like I have this huge dark sercret, lol, bc I am not telling ANYONE that I am feeling this way (well, besides a chat board full of people I don't know  ). People asks us all the time when we what to have kids and are answer has always been "we're in no rush, we want to wait a while". Now I say it and I feel like a big fat liar! lol
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:37 PM |
| |
|
ready2ttc
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/08 383 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
How old are you? If you are mid-late 30s (or older) I would stress to him the importance of trying before your chances lessen.
If you are younger, I would take this time to read about abuot TTC, and enjoy your time as newlyweds! We were married several years before TTC and I am so glad we had that time to travel extensively, work on our careers, and take the time for ourselves. You can't get those years back, and he may want to enjoy having you to himself for a while. Two years will pass before you know it!
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:39 PM |
| |
|
nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
I was ready before DH when we had DS, and I'm ready now for #2 before DH. What we did was talk about it and kind of meet in the middle. I would have been ok to start trying right after we got married, but Dh wanted to wait a few years. I told him that we would wait until our 1 year anniversary and then I would go off and the pill and see what happens. I got preggo with DS 3 months later. This past spring I was wanting to try for #2 and DH wasn't ready. I told him that we would wait until the fall and Itook my last pills in August. I didn't push "my" way, but I also didn't let DH have "his" way. It's just as much your decision (though I think it should be more-so yours since you have to be preggo and push a baby out) as your DH.
ETS- The good thing about what we did was set a specific date way in advance so there were no surprises.
Message edited 9/30/2008 2:41:23 PM.
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:40 PM |
| |
|
HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
I started to get the itch last winter (just before we bought our first house and only 6 months after we got married). I also had wanted to wait several years until we were settled, but when I got the itch that all went out the window. However, DH wasnt there yet. He kept saying "2 more years. we're not ready yet"
Well...we just moved into our house 2 months ago and last month DH said he wanted to start trying. Believe it or not, he got the itch waaaay worse than me.
You never know...your DH may say 2 years, but maybe he'll feel like he's ready sooner. In the meantime, now is a good time to save up some money and get your house arranged and settled, that way, if you do decide to start ttc earlier, everything will be in place for a new family member
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:41 PM |
| |
|
Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
Posted by ready2ttc
How old are you? If you are mid-late 30s (or older) I would stress to him the importance of trying before your chances lessen.
If you are younger, I would take this time to read about abuot TTC, and enjoy your time as newlyweds! We were married several years before TTC and I am so glad we had that time to travel extensively, work on our careers, and take the time for ourselves. You can't get those years back, and he may want to enjoy having you to himself for a while. Two years will pass before you know it!
I know, this is what DH says to me. We are still young. I am 26(almost 27) and DH is 28. I know you are so right... but it just a really odd and intense feeling that I am trying to get over, ya know?
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:42 PM |
| |
|
ready2ttc
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/08 383 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
Posted by nferrandi
I didn't push "my" way, but I also didn't let DH have "his" way. It's just as much your decision (though I think it should be more-so yours since you have to be preggo and push a baby out) as your DH.
wow, i don't have kids yet, but i think this is something where both people should be 100% on board that this is something they want. if her DH doesn't feel ready, i think she needs to respect that, and not think that it should be more her decision since she carries the baby. JMO. i would really have resented DH if he pressured me to TTC before I was ready, and i am so thankful that we waited until it was something that we both want more than anything.
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:42 PM |
| |
|
Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
Posted by HomeIsWithU
I started to get the itch last winter (just before we bought our first house and only 6 months after we got married). I also had wanted to wait several years until we were settled, but when I got the itch that all went out the window. However, DH wasnt there yet. He kept saying "2 more years. we're not ready yet"
Well...we just moved into our house 2 months ago and last month DH said he wanted to start trying. Believe it or not, he got the itch waaaay worse than me.
You never know...your DH may say 2 years, but maybe he'll feel like he's ready sooner. In the meantime, now is a good time to save up some money and get your house arranged and settled, that way, if you do decide to start ttc earlier, everything will be in place for a new family member
Thanks for sharing, maybe there is hope for me, lol
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:45 PM |
| |
|
nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
Posted by ready2ttc
Posted by nferrandi
I didn't push "my" way, but I also didn't let DH have "his" way. It's just as much your decision (though I think it should be more-so yours since you have to be preggo and push a baby out) as your DH.
wow, i don't have kids yet, but i think this is something where both people should be 100% on board that this is something they want. if her DH doesn't feel ready, i think she needs to respect that, and not think that it should be more her decision since she carries the baby. JMO. i would really have resented DH if he pressured me to TTC before I was ready, and i am so thankful that we waited until it was something that we both want more than anything.
I understand why you think this way, but I truely don't believe she should have to put her wants aside for 2 years. Why should she be the one to sit back and wait? And it's not like her Dh doesn't want kids and she's forcing them on him, she's just in more of a rush then he is.
And as for my situation, my DH is just one of those people who stresses out over everything. So we come up with an agreeable game plan and then before it's activated he has months to get used to the idea. And for the record, by the time we actually started TTC with #1 he was on board, and he is again for #2. So although my method may not work for everyone, it works for us.
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:47 PM |
| |
|
MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
Posted by Lake0703
Thank you. I guess your right and I know we should BOTH be ready.... it's just a crazy feeling when you first start feeling like you want this. I just wish DH was feeling it with me. I also feel like I have this huge dark sercret, lol, bc I am not telling ANYONE that I am feeling this way (well, besides a chat board full of people I don't know ). People asks us all the time when we what to have kids and are answer has always been "we're in no rush, we want to wait a while". Now I say it and I feel like a big fat liar! lol
i know it must be hard to feel like its one way street.. 
i truly do hope that he doesnt want to wait and you can really sit with him and tell him how you feel about it.. even maybe waiting 1 yr.. instead of 2 would be good!
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:48 PM |
| |
|
maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
I definitely think that TTC is something both people have to be on board for. We've been trying for 13 months and if DH wasn't completely on board, there's no way he would have gone through all that we've been through this past year.
I think you need to sit down and discuss your feelings with DH. Try to see if you can make a compromise that you both agree on. What about revisiting the topic every 6 months instead of just waiting the 2 years? Maybe in six months once you are settled into the house and married life, he will be more ready.
I wanted to start trying on our HM but DH wasn't ready. Then one month he decided, very in the moment, that we'd just stop using condoms and see what happens. That was 9/07. After that month when I wasn't pregnant, DH started to get the itch even more. Now, I think we both would do ANYTHING to have a baby!
Sorry this was a novel, but those are just my thoughts!
I think when it comes to TTC, you have to be prepared for it to either take no time at all or for it to take a long time. If both you and DH can accept that, then that's great - because you really never know. You might start before DH is ready and get pregnant right away, which could cause a problem - or you might put it off 2 years, and then spend another year just TRYING to get pregnant. You just never know! So be prepared either way and come to a comprosmise that you can both feel happy with!
Oh, and you are MORE than welcome here!
|
| Posted 9/30/08 2:57 PM |
| |
|
Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
Posted by maybeamommy
I definitely think that TTC is something both people have to be on board for. We've been trying for 13 months and if DH wasn't completely on board, there's no way he would have gone through all that we've been through this past year.
I think you need to sit down and discuss your feelings with DH. Try to see if you can make a compromise that you both agree on. What about revisiting the topic every 6 months instead of just waiting the 2 years? Maybe in six months once you are settled into the house and married life, he will be more ready.
I wanted to start trying on our HM but DH wasn't ready. Then one month he decided, very in the moment, that we'd just stop using condoms and see what happens. That was 9/07. After that month when I wasn't pregnant, DH started to get the itch even more. Now, I think we both would do ANYTHING to have a baby!
Sorry this was a novel, but those are just my thoughts!
I think when it comes to TTC, you have to be prepared for it to either take no time at all or for it to take a long time. If both you and DH can accept that, then that's great - because you really never know. You might start before DH is ready and get pregnant right away, which could cause a problem - or you might put it off 2 years, and then spend another year just TRYING to get pregnant. You just never know! So be prepared either way and come to a comprosmise that you can both feel happy with!
Oh, and you are MORE than welcome here!
Thank you. I guess the best thing would be to revist it every six months and see where he's at. Hopefully he will come around sooner rather than later. I just don't know how to pass the time, ya know? It is definitly hard when you feel like so are so ready for something but have to sit and wait. I know we would be doing the best thing by waiting and enjoying being married and even paying some stuff off. I will just keep that in my head, lol. In the meantime - I might be hanging with you girls to get my "TTC fix" 
|
| Posted 9/30/08 3:21 PM |
| |
|
zoe282
We have our miracle!
Member since 8/08 3634 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
I am somewhat in the same boat as you. I got married in June and both DH and I spoke about waiting a year till we TTC....well now I can't help but think about babies all the time! I look at names and I really want a baby! But DH isn't ready just yet....What I am doing is waiting a bit to broach the subject again. If i were you I would educate him about the fact that it might not "just happen" when he wants it...I never realized how hard it can be for some and you never know till you try. So I would tell your DH to compromise a bit b/c you never know if you wait two years it coudl take another year to get pregnant! That is how i see it. But i agree with what someone said above, you also then have to be prepared for it to happen right away....
|
| Posted 9/30/08 4:00 PM |
| |
|
Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
thanks, it's nice to know there are others out there that feel how I am and I'm not going crazy. Maybe they should have an "almost ready to TTC" board, lol.
|
| Posted 9/30/08 4:04 PM |
| |
|
zoe282
We have our miracle!
Member since 8/08 3634 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Getting baby itch b4 husband??
Posted by Lake0703
thanks, it's nice to know there are others out there that feel how I am and I'm not going crazy. Maybe they should have an "almost ready to TTC" board, lol.
Personally...as i can see with all my friends...it is normally the girl who is ready first....At least that is what I have encountered through my entire relationship as have my friends...so you certainly are not going crazy.
|
| Posted 9/30/08 4:17 PM |
| |
|
