For those who have done multiple IVFs

This process is so hard, but having your DH not be completely supportive certainly makes it harder. After I got home last night, DH wanted to discuss the whole fertilization issue which I tried to explain the best I could. He is beginning to think that this is just "not in the cards for us." He is beginning to think that all these drugs are not good for me. He is beginning to think that I am "obsessed" with having a baby like Charlotte in Sex in the City. He would like to know when "enough is enough." He wants to know what happens when our insurance money runs out...are we going to bankrupt ourselves? My opinion is that we keep going until we have a baby or doctors tell me there is nothing more for them to do. I was very sad last night and was wondering if anyone else has gone through this with their DHs?

Re: For those who have done multiple IVFs

we've been going through this for years

Re: For those who have done multiple IVFs

We were fortunate to get PG on our first IVF but we knew that once our insurance ran out, we would have to stop all treatments. There was no way we could afford to pay out of pocket. Best of luck!

Re: For those who have done multiple IVFs

The same exact thing happened to me.. But I noticed as soon as I said ok I give up he would bring it up again to give it another shot.. His big thing was for me to do the donor egg.. I just needed to do one more with my own eggs and praise God got blessed.. But if i am going to do this again at age 44 then donor egg it is and I am ok with that now.. But it took me a very long time to get to this place.. I know how devasting it is when Dh is so negative.. but try to listen to your heart.. You need to say when enough is enough and start a different process..

Re: For those who have done multiple IVFs

Yes, yes, yes...men need time. He's obviously upset over it and this is the only way they know how to express it. Hang in there. I have to keep "taking a break" to make DH happy. He wont even talk about my next cycle with me. We have to wait until we come home from vacation next month. But, i was telling everyone yesterday that his sister told me he told her that we are doing another round (thank you, could you share this with me). They like to be in control and they do think we are obsessed (though...um...I have to sort of agree with him I am obsessed but its more because I'm fighting my IF the only way I know how).

So, give him some time. Let him make the next decision (or think he's making the decision, KWIM?). Don't talk about it for a bit with him, talk to us. He will come around. They all do. If only they would listen to us, their lives would be so much easier (and our too).

Re: For those who have done multiple IVFs

I agree with Beth-Ann. Besides, you will know when you are done for real. Because there does come a point where you will say - I can't do this anymore. And you will be done.
I know for us, DH did not really want to do the last cycle. I only pushed for it because I knew it was my only real shot at even having a chance.
But I also knew that this was the last stim cycle I would be doing. It's just too much for my body to take after a while.

Re: For those who have done multiple IVFs

Beth-Ann is 100% right. You need to give him time and let him think things through. I also found with my DH that I was holding things back. For me, it ended up being better telling him my plans. Telling him when enough was going to be enough and he was happy with that. Now, were at the point where he says "whatever you say, I know you've thought about it and I support you". Yes, I almost fell over when he said that. Although, that was last week. Last night he told me that we should wait until March to cycle again! I was planning on um, tommorow!!! Seriously though, instead of freaking out and fighting with him, I calmly explained all the reasons why that would not work. It's so hard, I know. It's very emotional for us and that makes things worse. So many times I've started arguements over this.