for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I have one of each. I always thought i'd have 3 kids but everywhere i go people are like "you hit the jackpot" and "you're set" and "one of each-you are done!" Sometimes when I even say I am thinking of a third I get responses like " quit while you are ahead- you have 2 healthy kids." It makes me feel awkward and the whole "count your blessings" thing is making me all nervous as if having a third would be risky somehow or g-d forbid the child would have a problem. Why do people say such things??? Has anyone else encountered this? DH is so on the fence for a third so whenever anyone says things like that he's always like "we're done" (he says this to me) and it makes me so sad.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

Don't listen to anyone--you do what's right for you and your family!

My first two were the same gender--girls--but even still, my DH was happy to stop there. He was always a big "maybe we shouldn't press our luck" kind of a guy. And we went for #3 and wouldn't you know...
I miscarried
It took a year to get pregnant again
My DS had reflux for a year
He had horrible, horrible eczema
He is severely allergic to peanuts and also allergic to like every other nut along with eggs
He even has an extra tooth

We always say, "Damn 3rd kid!" But...

I wouldn't trade it for the whole world!

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

Well I am about to have my third son..

BUT with that being said...we always always wanted three. Didn't matter what combination. I actually would love 4 if money weren't so tight. People are strange. You have to do what you want and what is best for your family! There is no right or wrong, and honestly it irks me when people say their family is "complete" after one of each. Your family is complete when you feel it's complete!

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

Don't listen to anyone.
I have boy/girl twins and everyone always said "oh good now your done" In the back of my mind I always wanted 3.
Baby #3 wasn't planned and a complete surprise...after we got over the initial shock I knew it was meant to be.
Once I got pregnant all the dumb comments stopped

Good luck!

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I had ds then almost 2 years later dd. My family strongly believes a baby is a blessing. But my dh's family told me I was done I said all along I wanted one more. They would be like why or you have one if each you are done now. When we told them I was pregnant with my third I got "what were you thinking" and "are you crazy" the best was "congrats I guess" . Now that ds2 is here they all love him but I will never forget their reactions. It hurt me so bad and my relationship with them will never be the same. Luckily it was extended in laws not mil and fil.
That said my family is now complete and I could never say that before. Now that ds2 is here I am ready to close up shop. I think when you are done you know.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

Yes! People say stupid sh!t all the time! It's opposite for me though. Il's actually try to sway me & dh to have a 3rd. I have 2 boys & I always hear, don't you want a girl? Um, actually no, I was hoping what ever gender I had first, my second would be the same.

This is your family that you are building so if you want 3 kids, go for it. You are raising them, paying for them, etc.. so others can shut it.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I'm pregnant with #2 now due in March. I have always 3-4 no matter what the combo. But I have a dd and now I get oh if it's a boy you are done. Or my favorite "I hope it's a boy for your sake and you can be done" really maybe I am not done.

People are weird. I don't let it bother me.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

Dont listen to what people say. I have 4 healthy kids. 3 girls and a boy. We did not keep having kids until we had a boy. We felt we were set with our girls and when a happy surprise happened we were sure it was another girl and we were estatic. When we found out it was a boy, we were in shock. But either way, be it boy/girl we would have been happy and done.

People need to mind there own business. You don't need to have a boy and a girl to be happy. Some people are happy with just 1, some need many. It is whatever you are happy with and how you feel!

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I agree with everyone else, you do what you want to do.
I personally had a boy and girl and knew I was done but we "might" have gone for a third if we had 2 of the same sex.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

We had a boy and a girl.

We wanted one more!

We never really got comments about gender- just that having a third would be more work and money....

Now that he is here- it IS more work and money- but of course we knew that- and, of course, all worth it!

for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

Yes, I get this all the time. We have a girl and boy everywhere I go people tend to make those comments. I am still on the fence about having another, but that is my decision. Not because I have a girl and boy and I should be done with having anymore kids.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I am pg with my 3rd and I have one of each. I got all of that....along with the "You are crazy to want another one" and "How can you afford it?" It drove me insane so finally I just told them to shut up It was mine and DH's business and they didn't need to worry about how we could handle it. It drove me even more crazy when people would say that they could understand having another one if I had the same gender but because I have a healthy boy and girl I should consider myself lucky and be done. When push comes to shove only DH and I could make that decision and it was the right one for US. Everyone else is going to have their opinions no matter what but I've learned to just roll my eyes and tune them out.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I have a 5 year old ds and 2 year old dd and 6 month old dd.

I was working while pregnant with my 3rd baby in a retail store. I had a customer tell me-

Customer: are you pregnant ?
Me: yes I am
Customer : oh that's nice, is this your first?
Me: actually no this is my third.
Customer : really ....what do you have at home?
Me: I have a son and a daughter.
Customer: ( sounding in shock and rude) says- why and earth would you have a third. That's just plain ridiculous. You should have stopped on your 2nd!
Me: ( quiet)

I was so upset I couldn't even speak. My tears came out.
Mind you I have never met this person before.

Fast forward. Yes three are hard it's a balancing act. But I couldn't imagine my life any different.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I always knew I wanted 2 maybe 3. We had a girl and then boy. l didn't feel done. Never went on BC. Then, was surprised with DD 2. Now I know I'm done. I didnt have that feeling before.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I got this all the time. I had b/g twins. #3 was very much planned, and I can't tell you how many people asked me if she was a mistake.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I have two sons and we are done. I am just commenting because I cannot believe all of the rude comments you all have gotten!!!

People can have as many kids as the want. Unless you have to finance them or take care of them- why would you care?????

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

Right after I had my son a lot of people said, "oh you have the pair now so you're done". While DH and I are not definite yet about going for #3, I always thought it was odd for people to say. L

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I have b/g twins and everybody tells me that I should be done and that I have a perfect family or they say I would hate to have sleepless nights again. I'm content with my two, but I would love to have a third baby in maybe 4 years. People are just rude with their comments. Ignore them and do what makes you happy.

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

I'm so there with you.
We have a girl and boy.
But we (more me) wants one more.
I will always regret it if I don't have another.
My friends and coworkers with 3 wouldn't do it any other way.
I'll take my chances & people ARE stupid.

for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

we have ine ofeach, i feel like i'm always hearing your set now....

we still want 3.... sex doesnt matter, if we can work the budget out then we want more. id rather kids over luxuries for myself

Re: for those w/ 1 dd and 1 ds considering a 3rd

Ugh this sentiment infuriates me. I have healthy triplet boys and fully intend to have another, as the past 8 months of raising them have been the best months of my life. Why people feel entitled to comment on something as personal as family size is so beyond me as it is none of their business. The same people woul dare not infringe on someone's right to limit their family size, yet feel as though they have the right to comment on expanding it. I would just not say anything until you announce that number three is on be way! I plan on saying nothing until I nonchalantly announce number 4. But in the past I HAVE said "well I know there are a lot of miserable parents out there but we are not one of them and would love more children." It's a low blow bit it shuts them up :)