finding out gender

ok so im sitting here dreaming of when i finally do get pregnant... i always said i would want to know what it was because i am so bad at surprises and would HAVE to plan; paint, decorate, get proper color clothes for shower, etc. My mother on the other hand thinks its terrible that I would want to know; "It's the only surprise you'll ever have in your life".... So, my question is... I would love for it to be a surprise, but Im really not loving yellow and green... so of course, there is neutral colors; anyone see JLO's nursery? which I LOVE! But then what do I do about the shower and clothes and stuff??? How do you do that???

eta: I am not meaning to put down anyone yellow an dgreen mommies, I just personally don't like it because thats the room tjhat I had growing up and it just didnt feel girlie; or if I had a boy, boyie if thats a word. haha.

Message edited 7/21/2009 10:22:44 PM.

Re: finding out gender

I don't really know if I will be of much help.... but perhaps you could leave the walls white at first (baby will be sleeping in your room for the first few weeks anyway, I assume!) and you could pick out the bedding and have someone pick it up for you right after the baby is born. Everything else in the room can be set up, just get neutral things that would go with pink AND blue.... and as for the clothes... I say get for both and just don't cut the tags off till after the big day!


That's just my advice coming from NO experience .......... So I hope I was of at least some help!

Re: finding out gender

DH have been talking about this lately(why we are crossing our fingers for a BFP this month)...We are not going to find out and I would want to have the nursery done..but we decided that we will leave the room b/c the baby will be with us at first anyway and work on the nursery after...we will probably pick out 2 different beddings and pick out furniture to match and then DH can paint after...as far as clothes more people will probably buy you things off your registry and then when the baby is born and they come to see you they will bring clothes...so you will get gender specific clothes....(This is what I am hoping to do....but again it's all a plan and I have learned that I can not always plan everything)
HTH

Re: finding out gender

I would say dont register for anything gender specific. Instead just register for the basics (bottles, bassinet etc) and ask for gift cards so you can buy clothes and such after the baby is born? Obviously youll need a few gender neutral things just to get you started

I have read on the pregnancy board that a few women are waiting until after the baby is born before starting their nurseries. Me personally, Im finding out as soon as I can

Re: finding out gender

the first few weeks of having the baby, they are seriously in anything EASY to put on, like pjs. Poor DS lived in PJs for the first month or two lol.

Are you planning to have more children? I know you cant plan these things, but you know what I mean right? ... If you are thinking of more than one child, why not get gender neutral stuff for the first month of stuff? Because honestly if we have a girl for the next baby, I'm going to put her in DS's old clothes for the first month, unless of course I go out lol.

I would have family and friends spread the word that gift cards and the best thing etc. I know we did the big stuff gender neutral, because we wanted to try and have our kids close in age.

As for the nursery, you can always register for both boy and girl beddings, and stuff, and when the baby arrives return the other bedding. For paint color I've seen some gorgeous rooms for both boys and girls with a tan wall ... but if you want more gender specific, just wait until the baby is here, and use a no or low voc paint ((less smell, no chemical paint)).

Re: finding out gender

I figured I would weigh in since I am someone who has a DS and did not find out the gender before hand (I have a green and yellow nursery but don't worry I didn't take offense )

1. I decided I wanted to do a gender-neutral nursery anyway because it will be the nursery for all of our children. When we get PG with #2 we will move DS into the room next to the nursery and give him a big boy room.
2. You can do a gender-neutral nursery that is not yellow and green - you can do beige/chocolate brown and then add pink or blue curtains/accents once the baby is born.
3. Regarding registering for boy stuff and girl stuff and just returning whatever you don't need - if I had to do this after giving birth and taking care of a newborn I think I would have had a nervous breakdown. This is the last thing you want to do when you have had little to no sleep and are trying to figure out how to take care of DC. Plus most Drs recommend keeping DC home for the first four weeks so you will not really be leaving the house at the beginning.
4. Because the only clothing that my family could buy for the shower was gender neutral they went crazy once DS was born and we received so many more clothing gifts that we really didn't need to go out and buy too much until he was a few months old.

Sorry this is long, but I hope it helps. I just wanted to give my perspective as someone who has BTDT.

Message edited 7/22/2009 9:11:19 AM.

Re: finding out gender

wow u girls are great! thanks for all the opinions!!!

Re: finding out gender

I am so uncertain of what I want to do. I would love to know but, I would also love the surprise! I could let DH make the decision b/c I'm so uncertain. I guess when the time comes I'll figure it out.

Re: finding out gender

we found out with DS; mostly because DH wanted to
not that it mattered to either one of us but many of my friends said the same thing "its the only surprise you will have as an adult"

we promised we would not find out with the next one!

Re: finding out gender

We found out with DS because I needed to have everything ready. But this time we're going to keep it a surprise. This is the last baby we'll be having, so we want to hold on to every drop of excitement. That being said, I, like you, am not a fan of the yellow nursery. We will empty the room, refinish the floors, and prime the walls before the baby is born, but that's it. I know if it's a girl we want white furniture, if it's a boy I want wood. And the fact of the matter is, DS didn't go into his room until he was three months old, so I know there's plenty of time to do a nursery just how we want after the baby is born.

Re: finding out gender

Hey Mich! We are going to find out-it will be a surprise! Well, until 20 weeks!

Re: finding out gender

I think about it this way:

Whether I wait until the proper amount of weeks and sit there with my hubby and the US Technician and find out "Surprise, it's a _____" OR wait the 9 months and find out in L & D, it will be the same type of surprise!

I hear ya on the yellow and green...I'm not fan of that or neutral, so knowing that, when we are lucky enough to concieve we will definitely find out!

Re: finding out gender

Re: finding out gender

Hey Mich! I am team Green, and it is harder then i thought it would be, but I know it will be well worth it. I want more than one child so all the big ticket items i registered for are nuetral. I did not register for clothes for a couple of reasons. 1) you really don't need much for the first few weeks since the baby sort of lives in PJ's. 2) this may be selfish, but I want people to focus on what I need like, breast pumps, burp cloths, carseats etc. over clothes.

As for the nursery. I don't believe you need to do it gender nuetral. You can pick a neutral base and then add gender specific colors after the baby is born OR you can just wait till after the baby is born.

While I do agree that it is a surprise at 20 weeks or the full 9 months, from my personal experience it is the 9 months of anticipation that makes it an even bigger surprise. I have been in many delivery rooms and I can tell you there is nothing like the a room of a surprise delivery. It is awesome!

Plus it is fun having every one guess and bet on me :)

Re: finding out gender

Re: finding out gender

We didnt find out what we were having for our son. It was the BEST feeling in the world. Yes..it's a surprise either way...but for me it was being in the moment to meet the baby and hear it at the same time..it was AMAZING!!! I will never forget the doctors words "You have a beautiful SON"!!!!!! As far as getting everything ready..I registered for all neutral stuff. I was obsessed with having either a pink or blue room..so I had the walls primed...when the baby was born..we callled the painter and he painted the room blue while i was in the hospital..lol It's a lot of planning and hard work when u do not find out..but imo..soooooooo worth it!!! As far as clothes...this is what i did...I bought only a few pjs from target..pink and blue (just to have for right when baby came home). I washed all of them (they were not expensive)..so i had them ready when i got home. Then once the baby was born..family members went to the stores to pick up blue stuff. I also had pink and blue clothes on hold in Denny's...my brother bought all of htem for us when i was in the hosptal.
So, it can be done...if u dont want to find out..then dont.....it's the best feeling not to know! As far as bonding with the baby...I just called him peanut...or baby_____ (my last name...it's only temporary)...when they are born u call them by their name!!
Good luck!!