Finding out

DH and I have said, even pre-pregnancy, that would would not find out what we are having when we get pregnant. But, now that the 20 week sonogram is only 6 days away, I'm having second thoughts! My brother's wife is due any day and he talked to me the other day about how finding out made them feel so much better about the pregnancy...not just for planning reasons. I don't know what to do!!!

Re: Finding out

what would finding out the sex have to do with making them feel better? better about what?

We decided we weren't finding out the sex early on and even though its tempting to find out, it's so much better waiting. There's nothing like that feeling of being in the delivery room when they say "it's a boy!" or "it's a girl!"

So if you can wait, i'd say hold off!

Re: Finding out

We are not finding out. As soon as I walked into the LEvel II yesterday I said I didnt want to know right away, so it didnt become an option once the sono started.

As far as planning - we decided not to decorate the room or get the bedding until the baby is here bc I couldnt decide on anything nuetral that i liked.

If you really didnt want to know I say try to hold out and you will be so happy you did in the end.

There aren't many surprises in life, let this be one of them

Re: Finding out

I would say if you had wanted to wait originally, you should wait.

I like to find out for planning reasons, but if that isn't an issue for you, then I would wait. I don't see how finding out would make you feel any different about the pregnancy.

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We also are not finding out and a few days before the level II I also had my doubts. It doesn't help that friends and family were trying to convince us to. In the end we decided to keep the surprise until the big day. I was so happy I made the decision not to find out, it keeps us guessing everyday. It's also driving my MIL crazy, she wants a boy, so that's always a plus

Re: Finding out

We have always said, even waaaaaaaaay before we were ever pregnant, that we didn't want to know the sex of the baby beforehand. I have my Level II in just a few weeks and nothing has changed for us, we still don't want to know. So many people keep trying to convince us to find out (which I don't even understand) but we both are in agreement that we want the "big surprise" the day we deliver.

In my opinion, I don't think knowing beforehand changes anything. But that's just me. Knowing if it were a boy or girl would not at all change my choices for the nursery or registry. My friend insisted that knowing made her feel closer to the baby throughout the pregnancy but I am madly and deeply in love with this child and I can't see how knowing the sex would make the feelings I have any different.

It's a personal choice to find out or not BUT if you don't want to know then you need to hold firm to that. Don't let other people tell you what you should or shouldn't do. If you want to know then make sure you're finding out for yourself and not just to make everyone else around you happy.

Re: Finding out

Its a personal decision. What does your DH think?
We found out and I feel like it has been easier to bond with the baby. We also have his room ready and all his boy stuff. And we were still suprised the day we found out. For me personally, I don't see any plusses to waiting - but that is just me. You have to do what is right for you and DH.

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When I was pregnant with my DS my husband and I decided that we did not want to find out the sex. As my level II appointment became closer I too began to have second thoughts. So I told the technician that I did not want her to tell me the sex, but at the end of the ultrasound would it be possible for her to write the sex on a piece of paper and fold it up. She agreed to do this. When we arrived home I put it in an envelope and taped it in my belly book. I figured in case I changed my mind I could just look in the envelope. My DS is now six months and the envelope is still taped in the book. I never looked at the piece of paper in the envelope.

If you still are not sure when you appointment comes maybe you can hav the technician do the same.

Re: Finding out

You have to do what you and DH thinks is best

I will say I LOVED not knowing until DS was born-
- I loved the speculation, everyone had a theory on why it was a boy or why a girl (especially at the end)
- I loved the anticipation of this baby making its entrance and finding out what he or she was
- I loved the idea of the tradition, my mom didnt know, her mom didnt know, etc, it was like at my wedding I loved knowing that I was reciting the same vows that they did before me
- I totally wanted that moment when the Dr goes its a... - even with a c-section it was a great moment that I will never forget.
- A lot of people said it was that extra motivation during labor to push this kid out.
- Also I bought everything gender neutral so it can be used for a next child as well. I think it would have been harder to pick that way if I knew it was a boy or girl.

To me there was just something so amazing about not knowing and loving this child so much without even knowing it was a boy or a girl.
With that said, I only plan on having 2 so I think for my next I will find out.

Message edited 4/7/2008 11:05:11 AM.

Re: Finding out

It's a very personal decision. We found out and were so glad we did. Though we loved the baby even before we found it, the connection increased after we found out. Something just clicked-it's hard to explain but I did feel more of a bond than before that ultrasound. It could also be because the ultrasound was almost an hour and we got to see every little inch of her.

Whatever you decide, it should be your decision not anyone else's.

Re: Finding out

If you and your DH decided not to find out than don't.
My DH does not want to find out the sex but I do, so I am kinda torn as well.

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DH and I always said we would find out...usually with other things I am very patient and can wait, so can DH. But not with this!

It's a personal choice, don't be pressured to do something you don't wnat to do.

Re: Finding out

We decided not to find out what our baby was and I would do it again with DC #2 if I am blessed enough to have another. There are so few surprises in this world - and none as big as this. It was so fun guessing what the baby was and hearing other peoples guesses. and during labor, we were so excited to find out what we were having! Nothing is sweeter than hearing the doctors say "It's a XXXXX." Don't let anyone else influence your decision - as long as you and DH are in agreement, nothing and no one else should matter! GO TEAM !