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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Fighting Hopelessness
How do you ladies fight through it? I just am starting to feel like this is never going to happen for us and we're not meant to have kids. Anyone have any tips or recommendations on what I can do to fight through this??
ETA: Aside from "Quit whining and put your big girl panties on" 
Message edited 4/2/2013 9:57:25 AM.
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Posted 4/2/13 9:56 AM  |
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clotheshorse
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1293 total posts
Name:
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Re: Fighting Hopelessness
I'm new at this but from what I know, a lot of infertility treatments are trial-an-error. Each cycle your RE will get to know your body better and tweak protocols when need be. I know its hard to hold our heads up, but we have to if we are going to be successful. I have my moments too but then I remind myself I have only been at this for 2 months and its going to take some time and keep our eyes on the end prize.
How long have you been with an RE?
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| Posted 4/2/13 10:28 AM |
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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Re: Fighting Hopelessness
Not long. I know I'm being a baby and probably really hormonal and just having a pity party. I just feel like the longer this process goes on, I just don't see it ever happening for us. Like somehow DH and I are just not meant to be parents.
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| Posted 4/2/13 10:48 AM |
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starr
little whale on the way
Member since 6/10 1288 total posts
Name:
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Fighting Hopelessness
last month when I got my BFN for our first IVF cycle I was beyond devestated. I took a couple days off work, went for walk with DH, museum, restaurants. just spent time together. I was brand new and way more hopeful after.
sometimes its just feeling sorry for urself and doing fun stuff to get ur mind off of things.
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| Posted 4/2/13 11:37 AM |
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LInMI
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1801 total posts
Name:
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Fighting Hopelessness
IVF is such a rollercoaster ride. One minute I was excited and feeling good about everything and the next minute I was feeling sorry for myself and especially my DH. As soon as I would get my hopes up I read/heard something that would bring me right back down. Every month I would get so far ahead of myself and figure out my potential due date, etc. UGH… My only advice would be to take each day as it comes. Don’t put a time table on things.
At some point it’s out of your hands and you have to realize you’re doing everything you can and won’t stop until you have a baby. So stay strong. Also, I found I was getting depressed reading things online. Other than LIF I stayed off the internet and believe it or not… I felt much better!!!
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| Posted 4/2/13 11:39 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Fighting Hopelessness
i felt that way a few times... how could the universe not be telling me that i cant have a child with 5 losses... and then losing Haileys twin, i thought for sure i wouldnt have a successful pregnancy with her either... but shes 6w old now... i dont have any specific words of wisdom to give you other than, if this is really what you want, you wont stop until it happens... and you'll know when you cant take anymore.
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| Posted 4/2/13 12:03 PM |
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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Re: Fighting Hopelessness
Posted by LInMI
Every month I would get so far ahead of myself and figure out my potential due date, etc.
I do the same thing. Maybe that's why this cycle hit me a little harder. This was our last shot for 2013. I do really want it. I'm at the point when I see people with babies on the street I get a very unwelcome pang of jealousy. I really don't want to be "that person" and be bitter about our journey to parenthood.
I guess I just need to keep my eye on the prize. Some people have a sprint, others a marathon. I think that's the most frustrating part of all this- that I'm just running and don't know when I'll ever get to cross a finish line.
Thank you ladies for understanding. It really helps to know that I'm not alone and that its ok to feel like this sometimes. 
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| Posted 4/2/13 12:23 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Fighting Hopelessness
I wish that there was an easy, quick fix to the way that we are all feeling... This has been one of the hardest times of our lives.
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| Posted 4/2/13 12:58 PM |
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6months
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/08 598 total posts
Name:
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Fighting Hopelessness
Just found out that a family member 6 years YOUNGER than me is pregnant... I feel beyond hopeless.
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| Posted 4/2/13 1:17 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Fighting Hopelessness
It is an emotional rollercoster. For me as time went one I got numb to it. Each BFN was just kinda like oh well there is another one. They were jsut so comon to me after a while.
The time it really hit me was when others in our life would announce their pregnancies. I think my worst day was when in just one day I found out my sis was PG (she went through IVF so that hers was a journey) and then friends anounced they were PG and not really trying and still not really embracing it. SO that day hit me like why not me...
You will have good and bad days...days you feel renewed and can concur the world and then days you want to hide under the blankets all day.
But there are amazing stories of success on here and you need to just keep moving forward. Some of the girls on here have been to hell and back and have found success in the end so just never give up.
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| Posted 4/2/13 1:18 PM |
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Lala08
2 Princesses coming soon!
Member since 12/12 1539 total posts
Name:
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Re: Fighting Hopelessness
I feel the same exact way as you!!! You are not alone!!! Hopefully this is our month and if not there is next month. Just keep tredging on and hopefully one day this will all pay off and we will look down on our LO and realize how much we fought to have them
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| Posted 4/2/13 1:48 PM |
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Paloma
LIF Infant
Member since 3/13 164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Fighting Hopelessness
Thank you ladies for understanding. It really helps to know that I'm not alone and that its ok to feel like this sometimes.
You are definitely not alone. I think you have to give yourself some time to feel "sorry for yourself"-but then try to refocus and keep looking ahead.
There are a few things that help me. I've been going to yoga and I know this may sound cheesy but it helps me to appreciate all that I put my body through. It definitely helps to destress me.
I try to focus on positive stories that I read on here. There are so many women-just in our area-who are struggling with the same thing. I am inspired by their perseverance and their successes!
Starr gave great advice too-treat yourself. Try to distract yourself. Go out with your DH and do something fun. If I am home and not doing anything I can drive myself crazy thinking about all the possible scenarios. I like to keep my mind busy so I can't have too much time to be consumed by this journey.
Hope you're feeling better soon!
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| Posted 4/2/13 3:57 PM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: Fighting Hopelessness
When I got my diagnosis and was told how hard it will be to get me pregnant, I think I cried for two weeks straight.. I was in complete shock!! It's a hard road plus we all have other things going on in our lives. My best advice is to find some way to become empowered. Read a ton and become knowledgable on all aspects of your diagnosis. I began eating better, taking great supplements, exercising and doing acupuncture. Will these things help me get pregnant? Maybe, maybe not.. But it gave me a sense of control again and strength that I will beat this. I also have something that doctors can not control-- Faith!! My son was a complete miracle and as my brother pointed out-- Drs were wrong then and will be wrong again. I believe in miracles! Hoping your stay will be short and you will get your little miracle soon enough!
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| Posted 4/2/13 4:35 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Fighting Hopelessness
it was the darkest time of my life..darker than i let people know about
i questioned everything ..my life,my marriage,my faith..
i did not feel like a woman,i could not hold a child, the look on my dh face every month
i wanted to give up so so much
but someone told me and i kept it with me
if i quit now what was all this for?
the tears,the anger,the thousands upon thousands of dollars and the three babies we lost,they deserved us to keep going
if i quit what was all that for?
i promise you that you are stronger than you think and just keep pushing
the payoff is amazing,more amazing thatn you can imagine bc it is a miracle
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| Posted 4/3/13 12:32 AM |
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mrsanonymous
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/12 828 total posts
Name:
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Re: Fighting Hopelessness
I posted a similar thread recently...
Thread Here
so I can completely relate.
I think Gina's post is the most similar to the thoughts I've had recently as I move into this cycle (begin stimming this week). If I don't keep moving forward it definitely won't happen and the rest will have all been in vain.
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| Posted 4/3/13 8:52 AM |
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MrsRo10408
LIF Infant
Member since 2/10 59 total posts
Name:
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Fighting Hopelessness
I read somewhere that going through infertility is like entering the world of "if". And there are so many what "if"'s. My journey wasn't as long as some of the girls here, but it was still just as difficult and emotional. I would cry to my friend and my husband, questioning what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I always knew i wanted a children, and the thought of it not happening was devastating. I knew I was willing to do whatever it took, however my husband felt differently. I was lucky to get pregnant with our first IVF cycle. Now looking back though I admire girls who have the courage to keep going after failed cycles. Im not sure how much I could have handled emotionally. But thats the thing with infertility, it really tries your strength. And some how you just keep going.
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| Posted 4/3/13 12:15 PM |
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