Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

DD is 3.5 months and too young for extinction CIO (which I prefer).

So today for nap #1 I put her down and started the clock. She wasn't crying hard first at all so I decided on 4,6,8, 10 minute intervals.

At each time limit, I went in, rubbed her head, told her it's okay, mommies here, nite nite time, and gave her the paci.

At the 8 minute mark when I went in, she took the paci right away and closed her eyes... she is falling asleep now.

So obviously something worked (usually she fusses so much that the paci falls out of her mouth and she can't put herself to sleep) but did I do something wrong by giving her the paci? She doesn't have a lovey and wasn't sucking on her fingers to soothe herself so I felt she needed something.

Any input? I'm going to be doing this all weekend until she gets it TIA!

ETA to clarify:

I do NOT plan on starving my baby. I don't care if she does not STTN. That is not my goal here. I am trying to teach her (with or without the use of the paci) to fall asleep on her own without me nursing her or giving her the bottle. Normally DH and I have to go in 10 times or so to give her the paci just so she will go down for the night. We are using Ferber to cut down on the # of times we go in to her and hope that we can extend the crying intervals until she no longer needs us to replace the paci and she can fall asleep on her own.

Message edited 7/3/2010 2:14:39 PM.

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

I don't know if it's "technically" right or wrong, but I gave DD the pacifier when we did CIO at just shy of 5 months. She also learned how to put it in herself by the next day - I'm convinced the two are related. Good luck!!!

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

Sounds like you did something right! I hope this is it for you! Good luck LB!

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

First of, 3.5 months is too young to start CIO. Most pediatricians recommend it at 6 months or after, or when the baby no longer needs to be fed every few hours.

If you do it earlier, how will you know if the baby is crying to be fed?

Also, at the 6 months mark, you can choose between cio or extinction, or even other types of sleep methods. Some babies respond better to one over another.

Here are some tips I find useful:

basics of cio

Good luck!

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

As you know, I never did Ferber with DS, only extinction.

But what I will say is if the paci knocked her out keep using it!! She is probably having a difficult time for self soothing especially since she is only 3.5 months, so if the paci soothes her use it to the fullest!!

Miss you guys!!!!

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

I didn't necessarily do the ferber method, I read a few different methods and made up my own routine. I tried to double the time so 2 min, the 4, then 8, 16 etc, but I did basically what you did. However if DS was very upset I went in earlier, if he was just whining I waited longer. Tried to push it as long as I could. (Should mention DS was 8mos) and it was for waking in the middle of the night which he did twice every night)I gave him the binkie, pat his belly said night night and did not make eye contact. I looked at his mouth or chest. It only took 3 days and less time each day. Max being day 1 40-45 min. Sounds like you did GREAT.

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

LB, I think it sounds like it worked out great. And, I think it's great that you are going in after a few minutes. This will hopefully give her the tools that she needs down the road to make falling asleep on her own a little bit easier!

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

Just be prepared to frequently put the paci back in but I don't think there's a right or wrong. IMO, if it works, use it! Is she still asleep?

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

Posted by mikeswife06

Just be prepared to frequently put the paci back in but I don't think there's a right or wrong. IMO, if it works, use it! Is she still asleep?

Re: Ferber mommies - can you tell me if I did it "right"?

Posted by maybeamommy

Posted by headoverheels

Posted by Dulcinea

First of, 3.5 months is too young to start CIO. Most pediatricians recommend it at 6 months or after, or when the baby no longer needs to be fed every few hours.

If you do it earlier, how will you know if the baby is crying to be fed?

Also, at the 6 months mark, you can choose between cio or extinction, or even other types of sleep methods. Some babies respond better to one over another.

Here are some tips I find useful:

basics of cio

Good luck!

First of all, this is my 2nd child, so I know all about CIO.

Secondly, I don't recall asking if I should or shouldn't do Ferber.

Thanks for your input.

As a parent, it's hard enough to make these decisions without being judged by others about whether or not it's appropriate. I know you were trying to help, but I can tell that LB worded the question specifically so she wouldn't get "opinion" replies... KWIM?