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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Feeling very down......
Sorry so long, my DH is on a big kick to move to North Carolina, and I am NOT ready to go. At first I didnt want to go, because before my mom passed away, she was sick and would NOT leave her.
My dad and sister and brother are still here and ll our friends, and my job, which I BUSTED my butt paying for grad. school and getting my MA+75 at my school, so I make really good $$$.
I know the sot of living is cheaper, but you are making less, and here you are getting paid more $$ and it costs more to live, so doesnt it just even out?
So, he has his own Landscaping business and he wants to try and see what he can do down there. He is very miserable in the winter and wants to move somehwere where he can work all year around, because he is having a hard time getting a teaching job here in Business.
Plus, my DH doesnt want our boys going to the high school that I work at, it is NOT the best district, but far from the worst. There have been many fights lately and he doesnt want our boys going there.
We have been fighting so much about this, and dont knwo what to do.
I told him that I am willing to go dwon there and look around and see the area and schools.
I just needed to vent
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Posted 4/24/07 7:47 AM  |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Feeling very down......
maybe you can go an visit the area he is looking at and see what the houseing and job market is like. You might be surprised and it might turn out for the best for both of you.
Good Luck!
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| Posted 4/24/07 8:06 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Feeling very down......
This is definately a difficult situation though. I would go down to the areas that your DH is looking at & see what the house market is like. Also check out the local schools there & see if they are in need of teachers. Even though it is hard to leave your family & job behind, sometimes it is for the best, especially when you have kids of your own. If your DH doesn't want the boys going to school where you currently are, you might have to opt for private school & incur another bill.
Don't loose hope though
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| Posted 4/24/07 8:10 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Feeling very down......
I would go and check out the areas he's interested in, for two reasons - first, it shows to him that you are hearing him and take his concerns seriously. Second, who knows, you may find that when you look at the areas that you fall in love. Or, in the alternative, it may solidify your reasons for staying in NY. Either way, you can't make an informed decision, or have an informed discussion about it, until you see what all the options are.
Good luck 
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| Posted 4/24/07 8:12 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Feeling very down......
I so understand what you are going through. DH has always wanted to move (to TN) and we thought about it. We decided to stay here for a while and eventually will be going I'm sure and I know that when the time comes I will probably start freaking out like you are. I too am a teacher (no job yet though). All I can say is that you need to be open to other ideas and maybe go vacation down there a few times and really see what it's like. Maybe you will love it. It took me 3 trips to TN to realize that I do love it down there. Good luck, you guys will figure it all out,
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| Posted 4/24/07 8:14 AM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: Feeling very down......
Posted by Diane
I know the sot of living is cheaper, but you are making less, and here you are getting paid more $$ and it costs more to live, so doesnt it just even out?
FH and I looked into moving OOS. (VA and NC). I know some people here said they make the same or even more in NC/GA than they did in NY. If you are teacher, (esp. on LI) get ready to take a 50% paycut. And in my research, I wasnt impressed with the public schools - If I ever move down south I would send my kids to private, which I have heard can be $400 per month per kid! So we would have had the same amount of $$ left over at the end of the month if we bought in NY or OOS. We chose to stay in NY to be close to our families. In 5 years, we may revisit the idea, but just remember the grass isnt always greener on the other side!
definitely go down there to visit - you may love it - at least give it a try.
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| Posted 4/24/07 8:49 AM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: Feeling very down......
If he is truly that unhappy, I think I would at least make the effort to go to NC a couple of times to see if I think I could live there. Maybe that will at least help lessen some of the fighting for now. And maybe you both will realize you love it there or just aren't willing to leave NY. I understand your DH doesn't want to boys to go to HS here but I think you have more than enought time to figure that one out! Maybe discuss that it's something you might want to do in about 2 - 5 years
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| Posted 4/24/07 9:00 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Feeling very down......
well, also he took the MTA test and passed (he was so excited), now after a year they sent him a letter to take the physical, which is is nervous about, and now he has no desire to take the physical test or even do MTA because he has his heart in N. Carolina.
I told him to take the test..it cant hurt, but he wont tell him mom, because she would freak out (that is just the way she is)...trust me it is a long story with her. She is so protective...for example if him and his dad were fishing all day and didnt pick up their cell phones, she would have the Coast Guard out there looking for them
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| Posted 4/24/07 9:57 AM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Feeling very down......
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| Posted 4/24/07 10:30 AM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling very down......
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| Posted 4/24/07 10:37 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling very down......
Posted by Lisa
maybe you can go an visit the area he is looking at and see what the houseing and job market is like. You might be surprised and it might turn out for the best for both of you.
Good Luck!
agreed
hang in there
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| Posted 4/24/07 10:38 AM |
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Re: Feeling very down......
I guess that's what marriage is all about. Compromise and giving each other a chance to be happier.
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| Posted 4/24/07 10:41 AM |
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pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice
Member since 5/05 9612 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling very down......
that is really a tough situation. it cant hurt to take a look and see, but i agree with you, its got to be rough to start all over, away from your family, esp. with 2 little ones.
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| Posted 4/24/07 10:41 AM |
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