Feeling So Stressed...

So now that I am in the home stretch (9 weeks to go till my due date--actual birth--who knows??) I am feeling so stressed about going back to work after my FMLA is up. I am a HS teacher and I would have to go back in mid-late March--about 6-8 weeks into the spring semester. Women returning from maternity leave typically get the "leftover" program in my department (a mix of undesirable classes that didn't fit into anyone else's schedule) and I am totally dreading that. I am also going to go back and continue my studies in a program that I started a year ago, but had to take a leave from because of my complications. I know that should be on a backburner, but getting that degree would put me in a great position for a career change within the school system--something that will make me happier and more content.

My biggest stress is that I am the holder of the benefits. My husband is self-employed so we use my great benefits. I feel like that is so much pressure. We could live comfortably on his salary, but after throwing in the $1,100 COBRA cost per month, we may not be able to swing it.

I don't want to be a SAHM forever, but I would love to take a couple of extra months off and return for a few weeks before summer vacation. Even though DH says it is fine and that we'll make it for a few months without my salary and the benefit payments, I can't help but feel so guilty.

I'm feeling stressed....

(thanks for letting me vent...)

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

I am right there with you. My biggest source of stress is having to go back into a classroom where the kids aren't really "mine" (I had to go out on disability 8 days into the school year). I would LOVE to be able to just stretch it until the summer, but I'm under my own health benefits like you are.

Like I said, right there with you.

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

Don't have a whole lot of advice to offer, but I CAN completely identify with the needing to work for the benefits thing. My DH is also self-employed and just cannot afford to carry an insurance policy for us in addition to our mortgage and everthing else. It really, really sucks.

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

I'm not in the same situation but I hear ya'. I'm 10 wks to my due date and DH wants me to work until 12/23 (the day before winter recess - I'm due 12/31). I'm under his benefits which are great but financially we need both incomes. Especially since it is around the holidays.

My principal keeps asking me when I'm leaving and coming back and I honestly can't answer either. If it was up to DH I'd also be going back 6 or 8 wks after is born. Not sure how I'm going to manage physically/mentally. If it was up to me..I'd take off until early-mid June.

It's definitely stressful to think about. You're lucky though that your DH is on board and is o.k. w/supporting the family for a couple of months.

Hang in there...I'm sure it'll all work out.

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

I just want to offer to all.

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

Sounds very stressful. I can understand your concerns. All I can offer is

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

It's definitely stressful thinking about it. I was in a similar situation with my 1st. My issue was that I was put on bed rest and then still wanted to take my 12 weeks after DD was born. My position was secure and I wasn't going to get scr*wed with a change in my schedule but I did have to pay 2 months of COBRA. At $1200 a month, we took out a $5000 loan to just take the edge off of the stress. It helped a ton! I went through the TRS for the loan and they just deduct the payment from my paycheck. It has worked out perfectly.

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

I am sure you must be so stressed trying to sort this all out.

I am a total stress ball, and lay awake many a night thinking about things like this.

What I suggest is really sitting down and making a plan-- a comparison in a spreadsheet, etc.. Weigh the pros and cons if you stay out the rest of the school year. Look at the money you have in savings, factor in paying Cobra and other expenses on one salary. List everything there!!

Then compare it to your original plan-- going back to work in March, and resuming your duties after 3 months with benefits, etc. in tact.

I find it really helps me to see everything organized and laid out in front of me. Perhaps then, you will see staying home is totally doable-- or it will be too much of a crunch to entertain the thought any longer.

The good news is that if you DO go back to work-- you only have a couple of months til the school year is over. So, it will be temporary-- then you have summer with your little one!

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

It is stressful when the pressure is on re: benefits and work expectations and, and, and ..............

Just keep thinking about those 3 months over the summer that you'll have to de-stress w/ your baby !!

Even if you're taking classes toward your additional degree at that time, it won't be the same as working all day AND going to class .........KWIM??

Get through those last few months of school and you'll be home free til next Sept !!

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

everything will work out in the end Erin! if your Dh says so, then gosh darnit that's how it'll be!

Re: Feeling So Stressed...

With my first, I had to go back to work after Thanksgiving. I was nervous because the students started out with someone else as their teacher. It worked out fine. It is very hard going back, but it really does go fast. Before you know it, you will have the summer off with your child.