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ShhhTTCin11
3 under 3?!
Member since 5/11 2229 total posts
Name:
Coleen
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Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
I've always been such a positive person - glass half full. . and I just can't get myself there lately. I know it is driving DH nuts and I kind of don't blame him for getting annoyed!!!  I just can't snap out of it.
We met with our RE today to discuss the next IVF cycle, and I walked away feeling crappy for the reasons below:
A) It just makes me so mad that I have to wait another 3 weeks to get AF, just to take BCP for another 3 weeks, just to stim for another 2, then to have to wait another 2 on top of that. UGH. I just want to be like a normal freaking person that can pick up and try the next month. I know I'm being ridiculous.
B) When we got our BFP after our last cycle, I had set up this whole timeline in my head as to when we would tell everyone. My best friend is getting married on Saturday and my whole family is going - we planned on telling our parents this week (I would have been 8 weeks). I know it was early, but we were so excited and they would have noticed that I wasn't drinking wine. Every time I think of the wedding, it makes me feel bad all over again that this ended the way it did 
C) I am scared this cycle is going to end the same way as the last. I really have no hope that this is going to go well.
Aren't I depressing??!?! I hate this, I'm just not this type of person. I love my husband, I love my life, I love people in general, I love my job and my home. I'm just really really struggling with this.
Sorry for the vent. I know there are girls on this board that have it much harder than me. I just needed to verbally vomit a bit.  Thanks for listening.
Message edited 7/5/2011 10:13:06 PM.
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Posted 7/5/11 10:11 PM  |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
Sending u tons of hugs. I know for a fact that ben and jerrys phish food fro yo can improve ones mood significantly, albeit temporarily.
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| Posted 7/5/11 10:23 PM |
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ShhhTTCin11
3 under 3?!
Member since 5/11 2229 total posts
Name:
Coleen
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
Posted by cateyemm
Sending u tons of hugs. I know for a fact that ben and jerrys phish food fro yo can improve ones mood significantly, albeit temporarily.
Well then I will have to add that to cycle protocol!!!
FYI- TCBY peanut butter frozen yogurt is a good pick me up too!!
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| Posted 7/5/11 10:30 PM |
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prunepie
LIF Adult
Member since 7/06 4357 total posts
Name:
jennifer
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
dont forget doritos and pickles!
but yes i totally hear you and its okay to verbally vom for a while!!!!
i hope you feel bettersoon!
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| Posted 7/5/11 10:39 PM |
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
We arent at ivf (yet) but I totally feel you on the pity party. It's so depressing! I also feel bad complaining becuse there are others who have it worse, but everyone has their own issues and is entitled to feel how they feel about it.
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| Posted 7/5/11 10:57 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
I can absolutely relate 100%, as you probably know!!
I also worked out a timeline of when I'd be doing what, etc... and I know that this is the week I'd be able to find out the gender, since I would have been 16wks if I was still pregnant with my triplets. 16wks is when I found out the gender with my first pregnancy.
I am also SOOOOOOOOOO scared of going into next cycle and it's such a sad feeling knowing that a BFP just isn't good enough!! I don't even know at which milestone I will be able to draw the line and tell myself I feel comfortably pregnant and confident it will all work out. I don't think that will EVER happen, and I'm not at all excited about experiencing my next pregnancy. I just wish I could watch my baby grow outside my body in a safe incubator and I'd take him/her home in 9 months!! 
Like you said, I'm not like this AT ALL normally .. but lately when it comes to my fertility and all things related to it, I just wanted to cry.
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| Posted 7/5/11 11:05 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
Posted by ShhhTTCin11
Posted by cateyemm
Sending u tons of hugs. I know for a fact that ben and jerrys phish food fro yo can improve ones mood significantly, albeit temporarily.
Well then I will have to add that to cycle protocol!!!
FYI- TCBY peanut butter frozen yogurt is a good pick me up too!!
I wish there was one by my house! I'm going to have to move lol
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| Posted 7/5/11 11:06 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
Posted by ShhhTTCin11
Posted by cateyemm
Sending u tons of hugs. I know for a fact that ben and jerrys phish food fro yo can improve ones mood significantly, albeit temporarily.
Well then I will have to add that to cycle protocol!!!
FYI- TCBY peanut butter frozen yogurt is a good pick me up too!!
OMG!! I'm on this whole "keeping my womb warm" kick (don't ask .. ) I'll try anything, and that's what I did last cycle and I was successful! Sooo Phish food is a no for me but I am craving it SOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 7/5/11 11:07 PM |
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ShhhTTCin11
3 under 3?!
Member since 5/11 2229 total posts
Name:
Coleen
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by ShhhTTCin11
Posted by cateyemm
Sending u tons of hugs. I know for a fact that ben and jerrys phish food fro yo can improve ones mood significantly, albeit temporarily.
Well then I will have to add that to cycle protocol!!!
FYI- TCBY peanut butter frozen yogurt is a good pick me up too!!
OMG!! I'm on this whole "keeping my womb warm" kick (don't ask .. ) I'll try anything, and that's what I did last cycle and I was successful! Sooo Phish food is a no for me but I am craving it SOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you trying to make it warm n cozy for the embryo to snuggle up? Haha. That is awesome.
On that note, I am going to go with, its summer time and hot outside!! I should work on cranking up the AC in utero. Bring on the ice cream, haha!
All joking aside, I know you all get it. I just want to get back to a happy place.  For all of us!!
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| Posted 7/5/11 11:30 PM |
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ShhhTTCin11
3 under 3?!
Member since 5/11 2229 total posts
Name:
Coleen
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by ShhhTTCin11
Posted by cateyemm
Sending u tons of hugs. I know for a fact that ben and jerrys phish food fro yo can improve ones mood significantly, albeit temporarily.
Well then I will have to add that to cycle protocol!!!
FYI- TCBY peanut butter frozen yogurt is a good pick me up too!!
I wish there was one by my house! I'm going to have to move lol
The only one I know of is in Merrick. So worth the ten minute drive
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| Posted 7/5/11 11:32 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
Posted by ShhhTTCin11
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by ShhhTTCin11
Posted by cateyemm
Sending u tons of hugs. I know for a fact that ben and jerrys phish food fro yo can improve ones mood significantly, albeit temporarily.
Well then I will have to add that to cycle protocol!!!
FYI- TCBY peanut butter frozen yogurt is a good pick me up too!!
OMG!! I'm on this whole "keeping my womb warm" kick (don't ask .. ) I'll try anything, and that's what I did last cycle and I was successful! Sooo Phish food is a no for me but I am craving it SOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you trying to make it warm n cozy for the embryo to snuggle up? Haha. That is awesome.
On that note, I am going to go with, its summer time and hot outside!! I should work on cranking up the AC in utero. Bring on the ice cream, haha!
All joking aside, I know you all get it. I just want to get back to a happy place. For all of us!!
Okay, before you think I'm crazy .............
Andy never said I needed to do this but some acupuncturists do feel you should stay away from frozen foods like icecream/ices ce and "keep your womb warm" during stim, etc. If you google it, you WILL find stuff!!! I have absolutely no idea if it makes a bit of difference, but I did this for my last cycle and it worked! .. I'm at the point where I'm willing to try anything (yes, even avoid Ralphs for 4wks over the summer, I must sound nuts!)
If I don't get pregnant from this IVF though .. let the record show, I will eat Ralphs every night of my next stim cycle for sure!! 
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| Posted 7/6/11 5:00 AM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by ShhhTTCin11
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by ShhhTTCin11
Posted by cateyemm
Sending u tons of hugs. I know for a fact that ben and jerrys phish food fro yo can improve ones mood significantly, albeit temporarily.
Well then I will have to add that to cycle protocol!!!
FYI- TCBY peanut butter frozen yogurt is a good pick me up too!!
OMG!! I'm on this whole "keeping my womb warm" kick (don't ask .. ) I'll try anything, and that's what I did last cycle and I was successful! Sooo Phish food is a no for me but I am craving it SOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you trying to make it warm n cozy for the embryo to snuggle up? Haha. That is awesome.
On that note, I am going to go with, its summer time and hot outside!! I should work on cranking up the AC in utero. Bring on the ice cream, haha!
All joking aside, I know you all get it. I just want to get back to a happy place. For all of us!!
Okay, before you think I'm crazy .............
Andy never said I needed to do this but some acupuncturists do feel you should stay away from frozen foods like icecream/ices ce and "keep your womb warm" during stim, etc. If you google it, you WILL find stuff!!! I have absolutely no idea if it makes a bit of difference, but I did this for my last cycle and it worked! .. I'm at the point where I'm willing to try anything (yes, even avoid Ralphs for 4wks over the summer, I must sound nuts!)
If I don't get pregnant from this IVF though .. let the record show, I will eat Ralphs every night of my next stim cycle for sure!!
I dont think youre crazy. One of my staff members is chinese and she won't eat or drink anything cold, ever
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| Posted 7/6/11 8:52 AM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
My acupuncturist always talking about keeping my womb warm too!
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| Posted 7/6/11 9:03 AM |
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quierounotro
LIF Infant
Member since 2/11 349 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
It's okay to be pessimistic. I can promise you that a positive outlook does not increase your fertility AT ALL. TRUST ME!
Waiting during the IF process is, IMO, one of the hardest parts because you just want to take action and do something to get yourself pregnant. We always have to wait for something though and it's never fun!
As far as timelines go, I have done that every cycle! I figure out when I'd tell my parents, any significant dates (birthdays, anniversaries) and when I'd be 12 weeks and able to "come out." You'll have other special days and other great times to tell people and no matter when it is, it will be special and memorable!
It's okay to be scared. It's okay to think that things won't work. I can promise you and tell you from experience that you do not need a positive attitude, hopeful outlook or happy disposition to end up with a sticky BFP!
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| Posted 7/6/11 9:07 AM |
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ShhhTTCin11
3 under 3?!
Member since 5/11 2229 total posts
Name:
Coleen
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Re: Feeling pessimistic (warning - pity party)
I don't thnk you are crazy! To be honest, I will now think twice before having ice cream during a cycle. It has just been added to my list along with caffeine and booze!! Now I am in search of a warm comfort food lol.
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| Posted 7/6/11 11:14 AM |
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