Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

So long story short. My relationship with my sister and mother has always been strained. My mother plays favorites between me and my sister. And my sister is a sick person. My sister has lied to me about everything and about me to so many people. She lies about everything. She will tell you it's raining when the suns out.

I've put up with them for a long long time. They are my family, the only ones I got and I love them as much as they always make me feel like an outsider.

So far they have been almost non existent during this pregnancy. They never call to see how I am doing and when I call to tell them something about the pregnancy you can just tell in their voice they rather be listening to nails on a chalk board.

So anyway, my girlfriend and Dh decided they were going to plan my shower. I started planning it because I know my family wont. I let my GF and DH take over with a specific instruction that they are to NOT ask my family for help. Well my GF did. My sister told her that shes not going to help with anything since i didn't bother to ask her to plan it. My GF told her that it wasn't up to me to ask, that its a surprise which is why she was calling and not me. My sister then says, well i can't help because i am busy planning my 30th bday party so that's where my money is going to go. Her birthday is the week after my shower.

I am just sad. I knew it would be like this but I guess I just hoped it was more in my head that reality. I planned a huge shower for her and a beautiful sprinkle a year later when she got pregnant again. I wasn't even working those times but I want to make her feel special especially when people we making comments about her being preggo so soon after the first baby. I never expected anything in return but I just thought it was sisterly for us do that for each other. I guess I am more of her sistermy (sister enemy) than anything else.

I can't say anything, I am not supposed to know. Even if I did and told my mom, my mother would make some excuse to make my sister look like her angel again.

I'm sorry this is long, I just wanted to vent. My hormones are making it worst.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Ohhhh I know this one. None of my sisters came to my shower, nor did my mother, or my grandmother. Not to include my mother and I got into a huge fight as I was on my way to the shower. I walked into my shower blochy and red from crying and yelling. I am going to give you the best advice I can. Don't let THEM RUIN YOUR PREGNANCY!!!!!!! You are going to have a wonderful life when your baby comes and then you will have your own family.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Sorry you have to deal with this!

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Wow! you know what, screw that!! You are going to have your own little family soon and thats going be #1.

sorry your going through this!

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

I'm sorry you feel this way. Hopefully sometday they will come around, but in the meantime you have DH and your LO.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Thanks everyone. My DH keeps telling to me just forget them. It's hard because I adore my nieces and I know that my sister will keep them from me if I just tell her what I really think.

When I was pregnant with my 1st DC my mother was awesome and was crazy about her 1st grandson but ever since my sister had her kids and moved in..my mom doesn't even ask about my son. It hurts.

My DH and GF are going through with the party without her. They asked if I wanted to invite them I said to go ahead and invite them. I am going to be a bigger person as much as it hurts.

I should be use to it because they were worst when I was going through IF. One day I am going to wash my hands of them. One day.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Posted by BellaRock

Thanks everyone. My DH keeps telling to me just forget them. It's hard because I adore my nieces and I know that my sister will keep them from me if I just tell her what I really think.

When I was pregnant with my 1st DC my mother was awesome and was crazy about her 1st grandson but ever since my sister had her kids and moved in..my mom doesn't even ask about my son. It hurts.

My DH and GF are going through with the party without her. They asked if I wanted to invite them I said to go ahead and invite them. I am going to be a bigger person as much as it hurts.

I should be use to it because they were worst when I was going through IF. One day I am going to wash my hands of them. One day.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

I am so sorry your family is this way. I can somewhat understand. As hard as it is, please don't let them ruin this for you. Your baby shower will be special because your friend and DH really love you and this baby. You can't control the actions of others, unfortunately.As much as it stinks, they are adults and responsible for their behavior. Just make sure you surround your child with people who will love and adore him/her.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

I am really sorry you are going through this. You can't change people unfortunately. Sounds like you are the bigger and better person, and thankfully you have a DH and friend that love you very much.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

DON'T let them ruin anything!!!! I'm sure your DH and GF will make your day as special as they can. Don't even think about them. Your too good of a person for them and I would just think about what really makes you happy.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Awww this makes me so sad. I wish I could give you a bg hug. I'm so sorry that your mom and sister dont see what a blessing family can be.
But dont let them ruin this for you. you're a good person and you DESERVE to enjoy your shower. I'm sorry you have to put up with this

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I totally understand how you feel. I went through a very similar family situation when it came to my bridal shower & wedding (with no kids involved). The only advice I can give is to limit you and your family's involvement in their lives - there's not much else you can do.

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)

Sorry you're going through this

Re: Feeling like a stranger in my own family (long vent)