elder care - legal question

not sure if anyone knows the answer - or can help...

DH's uncle has 9-5 M-Sun nurse care in his own apartment. His M-F nurse is wonderful...but his weekend nurse doesn't bathe him or change his diapers - he's now in the hospital with a severe rash and they want him to sign over his SS to a nursing home?

DH was never married (his fiance dies in a car accident), doesn't have children and has no other family in the US other than DH (who is the closest - LI to Queens) BIL and MIL (uncle is her BIL, but they are close) who live in AZ.

BIL is willing to care for him in AZ (which is better for us, since we have 2 young kids, no room and DH just had some major surgery he is recovering from) and my MIL has been begging him to move to AZ for years, so we know where we want him to be, if he can't be in his apartment.

DH has to go to the hospital tomorrow to make sure he doesn't sign anything. They have the same last name - will that help? While he used to speak English (he was the US checkers chmpion), I have never heard him speak English and I don't think he remembers (he lives in a neighborhood in Queens where you don't need to speak English) - therefore paperwork might cause an issue.


BIL is coming to NY 1/2...how can we make sure that uncle is not brought to a nursing home?

What are his rights and do we have any influence with his rights?

Message edited 12/19/2009 7:52:54 PM.

Re: elder care - legal question

I would ask for the patient advocate at the hospital and explain the situation to them. Has a social worker gotten involved yet?

Re: elder care - legal question

You need to get an elder care attorney.

Who was handling all of his paperwork, bill payment, doctors appts before?

Does he have someone designated as his power of attorney? Does anyone know all of his financial information is kept? Banking, etc.?

My father can't take care of such things since a massive stroke 12 years ago. I am his power of attorney for all legal/financial matters (you can limit a power of attorney to only certain areas or have a more comprehensive document).

I would call the hospital ASAP and make sure his file is flagged that the family is retaining an elder care attorney and he is NOT to be given anything to sign w/o your husband present in the room. Type up a letter that says the same thing and hand deliver it to the hospital but also cc it to the hospital billing dept and anyone other relevant dept. Also talk to the hospital social worker, inform him or her and hand deliver a copy of the letter to them as well. Of course, this isn't legally binding so you must contact an elder care attorney asap. Hopefully, someone will be able to meet with your DH and uncle on Monday or the latest Tuesday.


This is a situation that needs immediate attention. I wish you luck. Unfortunately, the weather and holiday, is going to make it even more difficult to get this taken care of

Re: elder care - legal question

Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH

You need to get an elder care attorney.

Who was handling all of his paperwork, bill payment, doctors appts before?

Does he have someone designated as his power of attorney? Does anyone know all of his financial information is kept? Banking, etc.?

My father can't take care of such things since a massive stroke 12 years ago. I am his power of attorney for all legal/financial matters (you can limit a power of attorney to only certain areas or have a more comprehensive document).

I would call the hospital ASAP and make sure his file is flagged that the family is retaining an elder care attorney and he is NOT to be given anything to sign w/o your husband present in the room. Type up a letter that says the same thing and hand deliver it to the hospital but also cc it to the hospital billing dept and anyone other relevant dept. Also talk to the hospital social worker, inform him or her and hand deliver a copy of the letter to them as well. Of course, this isn't legally binding so you must contact an elder care attorney asap. Hopefully, someone will be able to meet with your DH and uncle on Monday or the latest Tuesday.


This is a situation that needs immediate attention. I wish you luck. Unfortunately, the weather and holiday, is going to make it even more difficult to get this taken care of

Re: elder care - legal question

I agree with all PPs-an elder care attorney can help if you need to file a guardianship, which would give you a lot of rights to be able to help in his care. A guardianship can be as broad or narrow as you need. The downside is you need to go to court. If DH's uncle is competent to understand legal documents, a durable power of attorney and a health care proxy may help. It would really depend on his situation.

In the meatime, I would highly advise looking into calling Department of Social Services and filing a report against this nurse who is neglecting DH's uncle. Elder abuse is quite serious. I know where I am, in FL, we would have families call Department of Children and Families, but I only practiced family in NY-you could call CPS and ask if you can file a report with them.

Sorry you are dealing with this.