during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

on the spooky ghost thread, someone mentioned their loved one (who was passing on) seeing other loved ones that had passed on before.

this struck me, because someone very close to me just recently passed, and in the last 2 days of their life, they were mentioning others who had passed on..........almost as if they were there.

It was very strange at the time, but the other thread got me thinking.

is this something you have seen?

do you think it may be part of the process?

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

When my exbf's grandma was dying, she said, "xxx is behind me" It was her cousin. She knew nothing of this cousin being ill. A few minutes later they got the phone call that the cousin had died.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

This was witnessed by the people in the room with my great-grandma when she was dying (i was 12, too young to be there). Also, when my grandma was in the last day it two of her life (in the hospice house), we witnessed her mumbling the names of people who had passed away. It wasn't scary...it was actually quite amazing.

I'm not very religious...I do have faith. These instances were a little weird to witness/hear about, but overall it brought me (and my family) a lot of peace...it felt like they were waiting for each of them on the other side, in a good way.

ETA: To answer your other question, yes, it absolutely is part of the process of dying - sometimes. My mother is a hospice nurse and we've (unfortunately) had a few family members go through hospice over the last decade...it doesn't happen to each person that dies, but it is a common thing to occur.

Message edited 12/6/2011 7:14:24 AM.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

My Grandma mentioned "dreaming" about some of her family that had passed on during her last week here.

I have also heard from a psychic that my Grandma was there when I lost my son. I truly believe that.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

When my mom was dying, she saw my great grandfather in her room a lot at night. It freaked me out (i was sleeping in her bed with her).

A year after my mom died, one of her best friends was dying, also from cancer. Her daughter told me that her mom was saying," donna (my mom) is here, donna said it is going to be ok, we are going to be together"

I have heard many other stories of this happening. Not should if i believe it though. Mymom and her friend were both on very strong meds while in hospice so who knows if thst had something to do with it. Or if its the mind playing tricks trying to make the person less afraid of death.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

My husband's grandfather was very sick with something that the drs compared with malaria. He had been sick a few days before they brought him to the hospital and the night they brought him in he said he saw my mil, who died the month before. The drs said if he was brought in a few hours later that he would have died.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

I thought at first my mom was hallucinating because of the morphine, but she really would talk to various "people" and stare at a particular place on the wall. Even later when her sight was gone, my mom would look towards that one spot on the wall.

Four years later when MIL was dying, she told us that Alice had come to see her. Scared the crap out of me because Alice, her niece, had died just a few months before. I told her that Alice would help her, let her know where to go and that she won't be alone.
Later on, MIL saw her two brothers, one who died at a very young age.

My mom was home with me and I was with her just about 24/7. MIL was in a facility and would tell us things when we got there, up until she could no longer speak.

Do I think it's part of the process of dying : yes. It could be the pain meds, could be the loss of sight, the mind and hearing still stay active up to the end.
It's kind of comforting, because you then know or believe that your loved ones are not alone when they die.

Message edited 12/6/2011 9:03:05 AM.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

When my Dad passed away this past October he was pretty out of it and not making much sense for 2 days, and then unable to talk at all his last day...but one thing that stood out was that he kept talking to my Nan and Pop, his parents.

My Nan was a nagger! She was notorious for bugging my Dad and her kids about things that she wanted them to do...and my Dad, although he wasn't speaking clearly or making much sense otherwise, was clearly saying "OK Ok Mom, I'm coming, I'm coming." As if she was calling him and he was telling her that he is coming, but he just needed some more time.

And sure enough...once we all had some time alone with him to say goodbye...well, he passed within seconds of my Mom leaving the room...we were each going in one at a time. My Mom and Dad were recently seperated and whatever my Mom said must have cleared him to pass, because she came out of the room and we all rushed back in to be at his side, and he was already gone.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

My aunt recently passed. My cousins had signed a dnr so she was just in her final days. She kept saying daddy, daddy..her father was there.

My grandfather...I asked my dad about it and if he felt anything. He didn't.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

i watched my grandfather refuse water/food for a month when he was trying to die after a stroke. It was the most horrible experience of my life and the time I did spend with him he would make vocalizations sounding like my grandmother's name (who had passed away 5 years earlier.) It gave him comfort and that is all it mattered to me.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

Years ago my mom was dying of Hodgkin's Disease-stage 4B. She was only 19 and I was a baby. One night, she coded in the hospital and as everyone worked on her she said she saw her cousin Sonny (who also had cancer) and he kept saying to her "Gina-it is not your time to go, let me go, I have lived my life, you are too young with a daughter to care for". Lo and behold Sonny died that night and my mom pulled through. Noone told her her he died as to not upset her. My grandma was in shock when she went to see my mom and the first words from her mouth were "why didn't you tell me Sonny died"?
My mom has since been cancer free to this day.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

It has happened with two of my family members (that I know of)

First one was my cousin who passed away a day shy of her 4th birthday. She saw her great grandma and also saw my aunt's unborn child. My cousin passed away from cancer.

Second one was my aunt. She died at home with her children around her. She said she saw my grandma and her sisters and also told her mom, "It doesn't hurt". She died of old age.

I dont know if dying people really "see" people or if they are just a figment of their imagination, which comforts them as they pass. Either way I think its amazing who "shows up"

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

I have witnessed it first hand. My brother passed away from a brain tumor. My SIL & I were w/him his last few hours of his life, trying to make him comfortable. With his last few breaths he mumbled my Aunts name who passed away about 4 yrs before he died. As a matter of a fact, she passed away and 11 months later, my brother was diagnosed w/his tumor, . Being there w/my amazing brother while he died was one of the most important things I have ever done in my life. Hearing him say her name as he took his final breath was actual a comfort for me. I know she came to get him to take him "home".

Message edited 12/6/2011 12:21:13 PM.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

I don't know if she was hallucinating, but I remember when my grandmother was very sick in the hospital she saw a little girl in the room and really seemed to believe she was there.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

I think its just part of the process..

My maternal grandmother died of cancer. She made it less than 6m from diagnosis. My mother and I have a very difficult relationship which has in the past caused my grandmother and I to lose touch. Towards the end (before her diagnosis) she and I made amends to be at least civil.

As she was dying my mother tried to make amends with her. In doing so, my ailing grandmother spoke of children. All her children. She named them off. She did not name my half sister. But begged my mother to make right the wrongs with her daughter before it was too late. Of course my mother assumed she meant my sister and was confused. But my grandmother kept calling me by my childhood nickname for that family. It’s a name I haven’t gone by in literally decades. But until her last breath she asked my mother to make it right. She spoke of others as well but always in reference to a time in the past. So folks she spoke of were long gone or much more grown.

I know this because she spoke so often about my mother’s ‘mistakes’ and ‘crimes’ that as they videotaped my grandmother she was often caught mumbling in Spanish. A lot of the time it was about me. Yeah, slightly creepy. She and I were ok by the time she died. Not close but ‘ok’. I didn’t even know she was dying. Wouldn’t have made a difference if I had. She was no longer that kind of grandmother to me. Just a relative by accident of birth. Years later someone sent me the tapes to show me my grandmother and I saw her pain and her pleading and honestly it bothered me.

Ironically, I reached out to my mother because of it. That didn’t end well.

My grandmother died of cancer as well (MY own grandma the one I have always felt closest to, my father’s mother). She took on the battle for nearly 3yrs. As she died, she too spoke of people that had passed. She spoke as if they were right there. We feel it was her subconscious giving her peace with those she loved in her life. Giving her a chance to say what was unsaid all those years. She knew she was dying. She died peacefully with her soul and mind at ease. For that I am grateful.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

When my grandfather was dying he saw and would talk to many friends and family who had passed. My mom would ask him who he was talking to and he laughed and said "You can't see them". I've heard many stories of people seeing loved ones before they die, it doesn't sound unreasonable to me.

ETA- My grandfather also had a very peaceful death. He wasn't afraid at all and that memory still brings peace to my family.

Message edited 12/6/2011 10:06:49 AM.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

DH's grandma died 2 weeks before our wedding in May of 2004. shortly before she said she had a dream where her husband and brother were sitting in the living room and telling her it was ok to join them. she died not long after that.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

i believe in this 100%. my father was in the hospital and we knew he was in his last few hours. there was a curtain around his bed and he kept telling my mother to open the doors all the way (the curtains) bc his mother was calling him and he wanted to see her.. the next thing he did was look at my mom and kept telling her he loved her over and over was sorry but he had to go.

he was given morphine and died 2 hrs later

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

When my grandmother was dying (I think she died a day or two later) she was moaning "Bobbie (my grandfather) take me home". My grandfather died 7 months before she did.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

DH's mother passed away almost 10 years ago - He told me that she said she saw people who had passed away. She named a bunch of people apparently.

DH's grandma is in ICU right now and right around Thanksgiving, we thought she would be gone because she was doing very bad. During that time, she said she saw certain people. She is making a stable recovery now... still in ICU but doing SO much better.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

I don't know! But the night before my mom died as we were all about to leave the hospital, she looked straight ahead and said "hi mom". Her mom died about 15 years prior. So, maybe? She also said something about the light around the TV in her hospital room. Could be part of the process i guess!

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

About 2 weeks before my Mothers passing she asked me if I had heard the bus outside with all of our relatives in the middle of the night saying how much they missed her and were happy to see her. The were making noise and hugging her etc.I was like huh?We live in quiet neighborhood- I did not hear anything.... the next day she took me to the curio cabinet and showed me a sterling silver bible she and my Grandmother used walking down the aisle in there bouquet on there wedding day. I promised her I would use it when I got married- I did by the way, fast forward to a week later she was in the end stage of Cancer and talking about relatives from Canada ? I had heard we had some relatives in Canada- I never meet them to this day. a few days later she passed away. I like to think my relatives were with her to take her to the other side. This was in 1994, and I still miss her dearly every day.

Message edited 12/6/2011 7:55:43 PM.

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

Re: during process of dying =- seeing loved ones who passed?

Message edited 12/7/2011 8:34:43 AM.