DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)

Hi All -

I am in need of some serious advice.

DS was a great sleeper from Day 1. We swaddled him in the RNP and he was sleeping from 10-6 at about 2 months, no longer eating throughout the night. At that time, I stopped BFing since my supply diminished and he went to formula, so that may have helped.

At 3 months, we stopped swaddling but kept him in the RNP in our room. It was rough because he kept waking himself up since he wasn’t swaddled. He would cry here and there, but when I put the pacifier in his mouth, he would go back to sleep.

Then we moved the RNP into his room….this is where the issues began. We would put him down at 8 and he would sleep for a couple hours…wake up at 10, put the pacifier in his mouth…sleep for another hour…wake up, put the pacifier in his mouth. Then around midnight he would be UP and I COULD NOT get him to go back to sleep. I would pick him up and rock him, wait till he fell asleep, try to put him back down and he would wake up 5 minutes later…

My husband and I both work. We were exhausted. We started bring him in the bed just so we could sleep. I know this was a bad idea since I DO NOT want to co-sleep. We were just so tired and we need to be rested to work…DS would go right to sleep and sleep until 7 when hes in the bed…..never an issue of him sleeping through the night if in the bed.

Anyway. I then tried to put him in the crib a few weeks ago. He would just not have it! He would sleep on and off and then eventually would not go back to sleep and cry and cry…we would then again, bring him in the bed.

Soooo we went to the doctor for his monthly checkup last Sunday and I voiced my issue to both the Nurse and The Doc. They both INSISTED that I let him cry it out and it would work, and I would be happy I did it. I need to nip it in the butt now, because it will be a lot harder later. The doc said her son cryed for 3 hours, threw up twice…but by 3 days he was sleeping throughout the night in his crib…They said he needs to learn how to self soothe. At 4 months, he should not need to eat throughout the night and should not be soothed to go to sleep. Put him in the crib drowsy, but awake…and let him cry until he goes to sleep.

So anyway, this past weekend, I finally decide to just do it even though I was terrified of hearing him cry…but I knew it had to be done. I didn’t know of any other way.

So Friday night he went into his crib, cried for an hour and eventually dosed off. He would wake up here and there but wouldn’t cry for too long, maybe 20 minutes the longest. We never went in, we would just let him cry until h got tired. He got up at 6.

Saturday night, it went pretty much the same way. Sunday as well.

Monday night he slept until 3am and WOULD NOT STOP CRYING for an HOUR. I just didn’t know what to do. Tried the pacifier, soothing him with my hands on his forehead. He would settle immediately as soon as I went in there, but after I left he would scream bloody murder again. We brought him in the bed, I just could not take him being that upset.

Monday night he woke up at 12 and WOULD NOT STOP CRYING AGAIN. Tried everything from the night before. He would settle but the second I leave, he wails again….brought him in the best at 1:30.

I know I completely ruined the training by doing this….

But am I a terrible mother for letting him cry at midnight or 3 in the morning inconsolably?? Do I just ignore it and let him cry for as long as it takes to go back to sleep??? Do I go pick him up? The doctor said to absolutely not do that. But they said once he cried himself to sleep, he should sleep through the night and that’s just not happening….I didn’t ask what to do if he wakes up screaming again hours later. Im at a loss.

Please help! Did anyone experience anything similar? What did you do? Let him cry it out regardless of how many times he wakes up???

Thank you thank you thank you for any advice in advance even if it may be harsh!! I can take it, lol

DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)

I honestly think that 4 months is a little young to be doing CIO. All the books I've read and my own pediatrician said 5 months was the youngest you should attempt it. My son was a horrible sleeper and we finally gave in and did CIO at 9 months and it was the best thing we ever did. He might just be too young just yet. Have you tried using a sleep sack? It's like a step down from a swaddle, but still might make him feel snuggled.

Re: DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)

Thank you for posting :)

He does wear a regular sleep sack. I have the swaddle sleep sacks too, but the problem is, hes starting to roll over and it says on the package you should not use iif this is the case.

Maybe hes not ready. But where should I sleep him if not in the crib? In a pack n play next to our bed? Hes just too big for the RNP. Hes a big baby.

I just dont want him to get used to sleeping in our bed.

Re: DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)

at 4 months old i attempted CIO with DD but had to give in. the reason i gave in bc at that point she was still nursing once at night - but i thought it was for comfort and was wrong
so i weaned her off that feeding and did CIO at 5 months and shes been a good sleeper since

since your DC doesnt take a feeding, its comfort he wants so CIO may work.
i personally found the progressive CIO (i think thats what its called) didnt work for DD. she got more worked up when i would leave the room so we just had to let her cry and not go in at all. i watched the monitor as she cried to make sure her foot wasnt getting caught and that she was ok. the first 2 nights she cried for 1.5 hours - it was tough. the third night it was less and the fourth night not a peep. i found it extremely hard to do, but i was exhausted and knew she was ok (not crying for food, diaper etc).

4 months may be early though - you know DS best so if you are comfortable knowing his cries arent hunger or bathroom or whatever then give it a shot. i will say though, if you try it one night and end up taking him out of the crib to comfort him, do not try it the next night. wait a week or even two before trying again.

good luck

Re: DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)

It's so tough to answer your question because there could be different things going on. Is he teething? Could he be going through a growth spurt? Is he getting sick? Could you try giving Tylenol one night in case it is teething pain? Then at least you would know that the Tylenol is cutting the pain. As long as you know that he isn't in pain, I think letting him CIO is ok. I personally feel like 4 months is not too young to CIO, within limits. What I usually do is, as long as I know my DD isn't in pain or hurt in the crib, I set limits as to how long I will let her cry. I look at the monitor and listen to her cries. If it's just whimpering or whining, I say to myself, "OK, I will let her go for 5 minutes and then I'll check on the monitor again." Then I don't look at the monitor again for 5 minutes. When I look back, if she is still whimpering, I say "Now I'll look again in 10 minutes." In 10 minutes, for the most part, she's asleep or at least not making noise anymore and just laying quietly. If after this time she is wailing, I would go in, rock her and calm her down. Once I got her settled again, I would put her back in the crib and try again. If that try didn't work, I would probably give her a bottle because I would assume she was hungry if she couldn't settle herself. I would assume that because usually she is able to settle herself after waiting the 30 minutes (total). I try for the most part to not feed her before 4:30 am, but if she was inconsolable I would do it. My DD started waking up at 2 am last month and it was driving me crazy until I fed her at that time for a few weeks and then she just stopped waking at that time. At her 4 month check up she had gained 2 1/4 lbs and grew 2 inches! So she really did need to eat because it was a growth spurt. This is all my long winded way of saying- there's no easy answer! Sometimes you just have to try different things to see what works. Good luck, I know sleep deprivation is not easy.

DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)

I also think 4 months is early to CIO. I had my DS in the crib from 7 weeks old; but I swaddled him until he was 5 months old. That was the HARDEST; like your son he would wake up every hour. I got no sleep during that transition. I never really let DS CIO. I personally coudln't take having him cry like that. He now only wakes up 1x IF at all during the night. I know you're tired; but maybe do a dream feed just to make sure he's not hungry still. He might be going through a growth spurt; or maybe even teething early

Re: DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)

Thank you everyone for all the feedback, I truly appreciate it.

Maybe hes just not ready, but I am curious about this "Dream Feed" mentioned.

what exactly is that? Feeding him without taking him out of the crib?

DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)

4 months is not too early for CIO. It is more of an issue of whether the parent is ready for the CIO.

I am a bit confused. You let him cry for an hour the first 3 nights and didn't have a problem with it but then when it came to Monday you did. What changed. the whole point of CIO is not to go in and soothe them so they can learn on their own.

CIO is something you need to stick with if you are going to do it.

I did it with my son and one night he cried for 2 hrs and then dozed off standing up leaning on the crib. This was much later into it....we have had to do it a few times as his sleep pattern changes periodically.

As long as they are not sick, hurt or teething I see nothing wrong letting them cry.

Re: DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)

Re: DS will not sleep in crib throughout the night! Please help :)