Drifting apart (kinda long)

Does anyone have a friend or group of friends that you drifted apart from? I'm sure everyone does...but this is why I'm asking...

I have a friend who I've known for a long time. She lives in another state but recently came here to visit. She's not married and she is living with her boyfriend. When I hang out with her, I feel like we have nothing to say to each other.

I hung out with her and another friend, who also has a baby, and she had a complete attitude. At first she was fine, but then soon became very annoyed with everyone and everything. While we were sitting down having lunch, she offered to feed Jared. While she was feeding him, she says...."Do you see this?" (her feeding him) "This does nothing for me at all..." I was really offended. She also said to me, while my other friend was in another store..."Does she talk about any else besides her daughter?" and did one of these... I said, "Well, that's what us boring parents do...we like to talk about our kids..." (I was very sarcastic)

She also went to try on a cute shirt in one of the stores and came out pi$$ed. I asked her how it went and she said, "The shirt makes me look pregnant...and I don't want that."

When leaving the mall, she walked away from my friend (who had the baby) and didn't even say goodbye to her. She tells me when we get into the car (about walking away without saying goodbye)...."There was no love lost there". I said, "I don't think there was any there to begin with".

Geez...she was acting like such a brat. I guess my new family and topics of conversation are too much for her. From the way she acted, I really don't feel like calling her anymore. In fact, when I dropped her off, (she was going back home that night) she didn't even go in the back seat to say goodbye to Jared...It was like we were going to see each other tomorrow...not like she was going halfway across the country.

Sorry so long girls...

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

I'm sorry that you're going through this with your friend...but, she is obviously jealous and if I were you, I wouldn't call her again until she calls you. She needs to grow up a bit!!!

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Wow. talk about seeming like a nasty person. People change and so does our outlook on Life. That comment made while feeling Jarred was not necessary.

Message edited 9/14/2005 1:19:51 PM.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Yeah I think you two are in two different places and she doesn't understand where you are and what is important to you. I have drifted part from people as well and it was for the best. Time to move on I think.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

I am sorry she was acting like that. Sounds like she is JEALOUS of you and your friend and your new focus in life. I wouldnt contact her unless she contacts you. She will understand I am sure, when she has a child herself someday.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Yeah I completely understand, I feel that the friends that I did have, have nothing in common with me anymore. I'm older, I'm married, i have a kid whereas they are single and early 20's.
It's sad but I rarely talk to this one in particular and to be honest I really don't have any real girlfriends.
It $ ucks but that's life I guess, whoever wants to be my friend will be there for me regardless.

Message edited 9/14/2005 1:21:01 PM.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

I am sorry she was nasty with you and your friend. I don't think she is jelous at all, I just think that since she is single and does not have kids, she no longer has the same views or priorities as you have.
Unfortunately, this happens when your friends have a total different life than you do. It's understandable, I guess. I remember, I use think differently when I wasn't a mother and now when people with no children make nasty comments, I try to just ignore them because they don't understand what you are going through.
I think it's time to move on. JMO

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Posted by Aliasmom

Yeah I completely understand, I feel that the friends that I did have, have nothing in common with me anymore. I'm older, I'm married, i have a kid whereas they are single and early 20's.
It's sad but I rarely talk to this one in particular and to be honest I really don't have any real girlfriends.
It $ ucks but that's life I guess, whoever wants to be my friend will be there for me regardless.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Posted by ambersmom

Posted by Aliasmom

Yeah I completely understand, I feel that the friends that I did have, have nothing in common with me anymore. I'm older, I'm married, i have a kid whereas they are single and early 20's.
It's sad but I rarely talk to this one in particular and to be honest I really don't have any real girlfriends.
It $ ucks but that's life I guess, whoever wants to be my friend will be there for me regardless.

I'll be your friend anytime

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Her comments and attitude was totally uncalled for. Even if you are in different places in life, there's no excuse for her demeanor or opinions (especially against precious baby Jared). It definitely sounds like it's time to move on for all parties. Did you follow up with the other friend and find out what her thoughts were on the issue? I hope I wasn't as callous when my friends first started having babies. I know I wasn't as involved as I should have been, but I hope I was never intentionally mean :(

It's funny you brought up this discussion because my bestest friend and I are in the same place. Years ago, we would be able to go on for hours and hours about nothing. It could be weeks/months since we last spoke but we always seemed to pick up/connect where we left off. Lately, it hasn't been that way at all. I struggle trying to find things to talk about with her. We're not in the same place emotionally, physically or financially. It's very difficult to maintain a relationship based on history and memories when there is nothing new to shareto fuel it. Communication is now more of an obligation than something to look forward to.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

I have a slightly different take on this (you all figured I might )

1. I AGREE that her attitude and comments and reactions were uncalled for

2. I also agree that since you both are in different places right now, you may not have as much in common anymore and are drifting apart.

But, before you completely write her off, look at this particular situation. She came down to visit you, and you hung out with her and a friend who also has a baby. It's only natural for the two mothers to start talking about their kids. But, from your friend's perspective, I can understand her getting miffed, since she had nothing to contribute since she doesn't have kids. Now, she totally handled the situation wrong, but I can understand the frustration.

Here's what I would do, you may not have anything in common anymore that would make hanging out a possibility, BUT, i would correspond regularly via email and possibly phone. When you do that, don't harp on things that she can't relate to, and by the same token she shouldn't do this either. Make the conversation about something you both can equally contribute to. You may never be the same friends, but there's no reason you can't continue an amicable relationship

IMO.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

almost sounds like she is jealous!

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Posted by CaptainCharisma424

I have a slightly different take on this (you all figured I might )

1. I AGREE that her attitude and comments and reactions were uncalled for

2. I also agree that since you both are in different places right now, you may not have as much in common anymore and are drifting apart.

But, before you completely write her off, look at this particular situation. She came down to visit you, and you hung out with her and a friend who also has a baby. It's only natural for the two mothers to start talking about their kids. But, from your friend's perspective, I can understand her getting miffed, since she had nothing to contribute since she doesn't have kids. Now, she totally handled the situation wrong, but I can understand the frustration.

Here's what I would do, you may not have anything in common anymore that would make hanging out a possibility, BUT, i would correspond regularly via email and possibly phone. When you do that, don't harp on things that she can't relate to, and by the same token she shouldn't do this either. Make the conversation about something you both can equally contribute to. You may never be the same friends, but there's no reason you can't continue an amicable relationship

IMO.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Posted by Stefanie

Posted by CaptainCharisma424

I have a slightly different take on this (you all figured I might )

1. I AGREE that her attitude and comments and reactions were uncalled for

2. I also agree that since you both are in different places right now, you may not have as much in common anymore and are drifting apart.

But, before you completely write her off, look at this particular situation. She came down to visit you, and you hung out with her and a friend who also has a baby. It's only natural for the two mothers to start talking about their kids. But, from your friend's perspective, I can understand her getting miffed, since she had nothing to contribute since she doesn't have kids. Now, she totally handled the situation wrong, but I can understand the frustration.

Here's what I would do, you may not have anything in common anymore that would make hanging out a possibility, BUT, i would correspond regularly via email and possibly phone. When you do that, don't harp on things that she can't relate to, and by the same token she shouldn't do this either. Make the conversation about something you both can equally contribute to. You may never be the same friends, but there's no reason you can't continue an amicable relationship

IMO.

I agree on your points. But I wasn't excluding her in my conversations and the talk wasn't all about the babies. She even knew my friend (with the baby) from a long time ago...so they weren't complete strangers. But, yes, she did handle the situation in a very immature manner.

I'm not looking to write her off...just venting my frustrations here about her behavior.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

well, if you were not excluding her, then yeah, she's got a problem


What would the troubleshooters do???

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

and i'd also like to add that i realize that this was a vent thread, so if my comments were too opinion-riddled, when opinions weren't asked for, i apologize

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

What would the troubleshooters do???


they would heckle her

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Sorry Stef

I have several friends who are just in different stages right now. It happens.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

Message edited 9/14/2005 2:19:35 PM.

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)

She sounds so jealous!! Its a shame because she is going to loose out out on a relationship with you and Jared

Re: Drifting apart (kinda long)