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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
I used to work for a preschool in the 2 year old room. More than half of the moms of the "full timers" (kids there from 8-3) didn't work. At that time (I was 24) I was disgusted that these moms opted to spend their time "selfishly", rather than with their children.
NOW, 10 years later and as a mom of 2, I'd KILL to be in their positions! 
It's definitely a "live and let live" kind of thing.
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Posted 8/10/07 12:26 PM  |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by 5ofClubs
It just does  Not sure really why. Maybe because I would love to be a SAHM
See, thats why I posted the second paragraph...sometimes, I am bothered because I am simply jealous!
Racheee I can't...you are too funny. But to answer the question, yes I think it is fine to send the baby to daycare for a bit. Sometimes when I take a day off I still send Bella to daycare so I can usually do what I put off...
When I am home with number 2 for whatever time I am (if that ever happens before Bella is in kindergarten) I will be sending Bella to daycare as per usual...
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:29 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Sorry I misunderstood the OP.
Message edited 8/10/2007 12:45:25 PM.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:31 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by dandr10199
If she wants to deplete her finances, put a wedge between her DH and herself, teach her child that you do not have to communicate with your spouse about these type of thing and do what ever you damn well please, that is her decision. She will end up divorced and seeing her kid on weekends and get all the alone time she needs eventually.
Personally, I feel bad for her DC and her DH. She really does sound like a selfish brat. Not because she wants alone time, but because she did not consult with her DH and he is making all the $$ in order for her to stay home. If I were her DH I would be pizzed.
How could she go behind her DH's back like that? How can she look at herself in the mirror after lying to him?
JMO, but she sounds like a piece of work. If it were me, I would seriously limit the time I would spend with her from now on.
Do you know this person???? Are we talking about the same issue????? I am confused (But then again, I am not too bright)
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:34 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by dandr10199
If she wants to deplete her finances, put a wedge between her DH and herself, teach her child that you do not have to communicate with your spouse about these type of thing and do what ever you damn well please, that is her decision. She will end up divorced and seeing her kid on weekends and get all the alone time she needs eventually.
Personally, I feel bad for her DC and her DH. She really does sound like a selfish brat. Not because she wants alone time, but because she did not consult with her DH and he is making all the $$ in order for her to stay home. If I were her DH I would be pizzed.
How could she go behind her DH's back like that? How can she look at herself in the mirror after lying to him?
JMO, but she sounds like a piece of work. If it were me, I would seriously limit the time I would spend with her from now on.
Do you know this person???? Are we talking about the same issue????? I am confused (But then again, I am not too bright)
No, I knew someone who did the same thing, went behind her DH's back and spent $$ on daycare when she was supposed to be a SAHM. Needless to say, they are no longer together.
I thought that the OP said that the DH did not know the kid was in day care and that the DW was doing this behind his back.
Maybe I am confused.   I might have this all wrong and if I do I will edit my post.
Message edited 8/10/2007 12:38:17 PM.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:36 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by dandr10199
If she wants to deplete her finances, put a wedge between her DH and herself, teach her child that you do not have to communicate with your spouse about these type of thing and do what ever you damn well please, that is her decision. She will end up divorced and seeing her kid on weekends and get all the alone time she needs eventually.
Personally, I feel bad for her DC and her DH. She really does sound like a selfish brat. Not because she wants alone time, but because she did not consult with her DH and he is making all the $$ in order for her to stay home. If I were her DH I would be pizzed.
How could she go behind her DH's back like that? How can she look at herself in the mirror after lying to him?
JMO, but she sounds like a piece of work. If it were me, I would seriously limit the time I would spend with her from now on.
Do you know this person???? Are we talking about the same issue????? I am confused (But then again, I am not too bright)
I am confused as well
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:36 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
I went back and re-read the OP and I am deleting my post now. Sorry ladies. I thought I read that the DH did not know about it I must be loosing it or the OP was edited?
Message edited 8/10/2007 12:44:53 PM.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:41 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by 5ofClubs
Posted by stephanief
who are we to say what is right or wrong for any individual family situation? I think daycare is good for babies
They are very tight on money and she want's the baby in daycare 4 days a week. Her DH is off Wed. And she doesn't want to get a job.
I guess that is what makes me so mad.
Can I ask you something? Why does someone else's personal decision regarding their family make you "mad"? What does it have to do with you?
There are so many reasons to put a baby in daycare whether or not there is a SAHM. Daycare does wonders for socialization, bonding with other adults, and learning. Some mothers too, aren't cut out for being a SAHM. Do you understand all of her psychological needs? If it's better for her mentally to have her child in daycare, than what makes a happy parent, makes a happy child.
Who in the world are we to judge unless there is real, palpable abuse?
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:42 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by dandr10199
I went back and re-read the OP and I am deleting my post now. Sorry ladies. I thought I rad that the DH did not know about it I must be loosing it or the OP was edited?
I thought it was me! I thought it was me!!!
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:43 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
I work from home and when Jack is around 2 yrs old I plan on having him indaycare two half days a week - to get stuff done and for my own sanity. I also think its great for interaction.
To each his own - I have learned that if you worry about what others have/do you can drive yourself crazy.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:43 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by dandr10199
I went back and re-read the OP and I am deleting my post now. Sorry ladies. I thought I rad that the DH did not know about it I must be loosing it or the OP was edited?
I thought it was me! I thought it was me!!!
It was me!!! I only had one cup of coffee today so I am a little slow on the uptake...
Anyway, I changed my post.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:44 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
So....
If the Dh knows about it and is on board with her about it, then I honestly see no problem with it. If the DH is not on board with it or does not know about it, that is a whole other story IMHO.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:45 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
I do judge people. I am not a very good Christian I know.
I will work on that.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:47 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by dandr10199
I went back and re-read the OP and I am deleting my post now. Sorry ladies. I thought I rad that the DH did not know about it I must be loosing it or the OP was edited?
I thought it was me! I thought it was me!!!
Someone else said that about another person they know, not the OP
ETA: It was Ang-Rich
I will not comment since I am not a parent
Message edited 8/10/2007 12:48:35 PM.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:47 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by dandr10199
So....
If the Dh knows about it and is on board with her about it, then I honestly see no problem with it. If the DH is not on board with it or does not know about it, that is a whole other story IMHO.
He is not onboard and is constantly complainging about her.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:48 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by melijane
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by dandr10199
I went back and re-read the OP and I am deleting my post now. Sorry ladies. I thought I rad that the DH did not know about it I must be loosing it or the OP was edited?
I thought it was me! I thought it was me!!!
Someone else said that about another person they know, not the OP
ETA: It was Ang-Rich
I will not comment since I am not a parent
I know, Again..
MY BAD
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:49 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by 5ofClubs
I do judge people. I am not a very good Christian I know.
I will work on that.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:50 PM |
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Bebalina
<3
Member since 6/05 2922 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
imo- its pointless...especially if money is tight... but to each's own. but every mommy deserves mommy time, where she works or sah...as a SAHM mom, i like to have my time ...doesnt happen often, but when i can get out just to get a mani pedi, or go meet some girlfriends i love it, but miss him too much at the same time.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:51 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by 5ofClubs
Posted by dandr10199
So....
If the Dh knows about it and is on board with her about it, then I honestly see no problem with it. If the DH is not on board with it or does not know about it, that is a whole other story IMHO.
He is not onboard and is constantly complainging about her.
But, she is not doing this behind his back right?
You know, I think he knew what he signed up for when he said "I DO". He knew the type of person she was. As long as he knows about it, then he can TRY to change her, but I doubt he will be able to. Again, I feel bad for the DC if they are fighting about money and this issue. The situation in that house cannot be good and the kid and the parents probably need your support and prayers more than ever.
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:52 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
I get jealous too and judge sometimes, don't sweat it! I don't think anyone on these boards can say they are never jealous and never secretly judge even if we know we shouldn't..it is called BEING HUMAN.
If i wanted to be a SAHM more than anything and could not afford it....and saw a friend paying for daycare when they had no money then hell yeah I'd be jealous!! nothing wrong with that in my opinion. But you can't let it get to you or eat at you, because it sounds like you are doing better off
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:57 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Well, I'm a SAHM and know where Katherine is now? At my cousin's house--she always watched her on Fridays when I worked. I did/do pay her and I'll be picking her up at 3pm. I am here with Abby now, we ran errands and got to have some 1 on 1 time. On Mondays, Katherine usually goes to my ILs' house--I don't pay them, of course.
So, obviously I support it--I actually said to Katherine this morning, "I enjoy you so much more when you get out for a couple of hours!" Not that she understood me
I don't understand, however, someone who would send their DC to FT daycare while she stayed home. Whatever floats your boat, I guess...
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| Posted 8/10/07 12:57 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
I thought the point of being a SAHM was to be there all day for your child, that the parent raises the child and if social interaction was needed the mom and child would attend the countless programs offered throughout the week..ie Mommy and me, music programming, read alouds at the library, gymboree
Message edited 8/16/2007 8:38:22 AM.
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| Posted 8/10/07 1:03 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
Posted by Moehick
I thought the point of being a SAHM was to be there all day for your child, that the parent raises the child and if social interaction was needed the mom and child would attend the countless programs offered throughout the week..ie Mommy and me, music programming, read alouds at the library, gymboree
ITA!
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| Posted 8/10/07 1:08 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
If I were a mom, tight on $ and able to stay home, no one would be watching my kid but me. I think it would be nice for the kid to go to playgroup or nursery school or something like that for a few hours / days a week and then maybe I would use that time as me time.
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| Posted 8/10/07 1:14 PM |
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CunningOne
***
Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it's right for a SAHM to send her child to
I am a SAHM, I also work a few hours a week PT if my company has work for me, and my DH works for a family business and is never home. Some days he's gone well past 9-9, and that includes weekends. I don't really have any time in there for "me" time. So would I love to send them to daycare once or twice a week - YES! But that's not what its all about for me. We don't have that much disposable income - to be a SAHM I gave up some of the things I used to do for me, so now it is all about the kids.
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| Posted 8/10/07 1:44 PM |
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