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cets1290
LIF Adult
Member since 6/14 1051 total posts
Name:
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Do you think it is appropriate..
..to show up over an hour late to a friend's house when you made plans? I have two friends that come over to watch some dvr'd programs with me every week or so. One of them consistently shows up late, and doesn't text to say she will be late until after she should have already been here. Today, we agreed on 6pm. I get a text at 610 saying she just left work (30 mins away), is going home to change and eat, and will be over at 8pm. I know these aren't important plans, but they are plans nonetheless. Am I justified in being really pissed off about this? or is this considered normal by most people because it's just a laid-back thing?
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Posted 12/2/15 6:27 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Do you think it is appropriate..
I have friends like that. chronic late Lucy's. now if I expect them at X time, I just tell them to show up an hour earlier. that way, they are always on time! 
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| Posted 12/2/15 6:31 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Do you think it is appropriate..
It's not acceptable. What I do t get is why didn't she just say "another night because I'm running so late?"
People get out of work late. It happens. But she should not then say "ok I'll be over 2 hours late".
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| Posted 12/2/15 6:40 PM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Do you think it is appropriate..
So start watching without her. Not fair to make you and your other friend to wait.
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| Posted 12/2/15 6:41 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Do you think it is appropriate..
I wouldn't be happy a bout it at all. A few minutes late I can deal wth but HOURS???!!! No way. That means I've wasted my time waiting for her and could have done something else or made other plans. Other people wasting my time is a huge pet peeve of mine. One time, ok, I get it, things happen. But consistently - no. I'd stop making plans with her unless it was like a group going to a bar where people could show up whenever and no one was waiting for her to do something specific. What does your other friend think? (Sounds like she shows up to your house on time so is "stuck" waiting for her too?)
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| Posted 12/2/15 6:43 PM |
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Cacarina
Two girls!
Member since 12/09 2971 total posts
Name:
Cari
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Do you think it is appropriate..
Rude - you guys are waiting for her to actually watch shows too. Why can't you guys make a plan to eat together too?
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| Posted 12/2/15 6:50 PM |
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sunnygirl
loving life
Member since 1/07 5413 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
if it were a rare occasion then it happens but every week all the time no way
she should have gotten take out and brought it over
I would start the shows without her and I would try to say something nicely like should we change the time to 7:00 since it seems to be hard for you to get here by 6:00
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| Posted 12/2/15 6:55 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
I would be pissed. I consider being continuously late a lack of respect. Once in a while its understandable, but if it is always, it would drive me crazy. I have stopped making plans with friends that are always late because I feel they don't respect my time.
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| Posted 12/2/15 6:57 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by SusiBee
So start watching without her. Not fair to make you and your other friend to wait.
This
I think that is just straight up rude
Once in a while - sure , shit happens. But chronically selfish with plans? No way.
I'd start without her or if you really want her to be a part of the night, tell her the wrong time so she'll actually show up on time
Message edited 12/2/2015 7:12:27 PM.
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| Posted 12/2/15 7:12 PM |
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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
I'd be pissed. 2 hours late is ridiculous.
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| Posted 12/2/15 8:54 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Do you think it is appropriate..
2hrs is rediculous. There is no reason to even come in my opinion.
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| Posted 12/2/15 9:21 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1073 total posts
Name:
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Do you think it is appropriate..
Yeah, 2 hours late is when the evening's plans would be over! That is rude, IMO.
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| Posted 12/2/15 9:48 PM |
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
i wish my friends would even show up at all... they make plans and then cancel on me day before or day of with lame excuses to no excuse at all... but 2 hours is still rude. at least you have friends. normally id say be pissed thats rude not a good friend etc... but now im friendless so lol... just be grateful she still comes over?!?
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| Posted 12/2/15 10:06 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Do you think it is appropriate..
I hate that. 15, 20 min or so late is understandable, especially considering the traffic almost everywhere on LI. But 2 hours late is ridiculous. Why did she even agree to 6 pm if she knew she didn't get out of work until Then?
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| Posted 12/2/15 10:32 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Do you think it is appropriate..
I hate lateness with a passion. DH's family is always late for everything, so are my aunt and uncle. I blame it on being Sicilian  All joking aside, I feel like it's such selfish behavior, inconsiderate, even.
However, DH says that they're not selfish. They just don't think being on time is a big deal. Clock-watching is stressful, etc.
Can someone who is chronically late weigh in?
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| Posted 12/2/15 11:26 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by Maybe-Baybe
I'd be pissed. 2 hours late is ridiculous.
This
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| Posted 12/2/15 11:31 PM |
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BabyBMakes3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/13 711 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
If a friend of mine did this....I would be really annoyed and tell her I'm starting without her and she can either show up or stay home, but I'm not waiting for her. But I also feel comfortable enough to talk to my friends like that.
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| Posted 12/3/15 8:48 AM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
2 hours late is unacceptable. At that point, why bother even coming? If it were me, I would just text her back and say "why don't we make it another night then". Start putting the kibosh on her when she's super late and she'll get the hint.
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| Posted 12/3/15 8:55 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Do you think it is appropriate..
I am an on time person and it annoys me bc I do have friends/family like this but I wouldnt say I get VERY PISSED off, just annoyed and I make sure to call them out on it
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| Posted 12/3/15 9:01 AM |
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TwinDani
We are complete <3
Member since 3/11 1750 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Do you think it is appropriate..
I would not be happy if it happened every week if it was a one time thing that is different but it happens every time. I am ALWAYS on time even a little early for things. I know my friends are always late for things and it annoys me at times.
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| Posted 12/3/15 9:06 AM |
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cets1290
LIF Adult
Member since 6/14 1051 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by chilltocam
I wouldn't be happy a bout it at all. A few minutes late I can deal wth but HOURS???!!! No way. That means I've wasted my time waiting for her and could have done something else or made other plans. Other people wasting my time is a huge pet peeve of mine. One time, ok, I get it, things happen. But consistently - no. I'd stop making plans with her unless it was like a group going to a bar where people could show up whenever and no one was waiting for her to do something specific. What does your other friend think? (Sounds like she shows up to your house on time so is "stuck" waiting for her too?)
my big issue with it happening last night was that my father called and asked for a favor. I said i could not come over to help him out because i was expecting some guests. He was upset that I couldn't help. It all could have been avoided had i known they would be late, knowing I had 1.5/2 hours to spare in the meantime.
On a side note: I addressed the issue with my friend. I said that I don't mind if she is late, but that if she will get stuck at work in the future to just take the 20 secs to send me a text and say "stuck at work i'll be late." I explained the situation with my dad as an example of how time schedules can be very important to me. Needless to say, she was very upset and said she was going home because she is too stressed out to deal with it and does not need me to tell her how she should behave. So she left.
I think part of the issue is that she lives with her parents and does not/has not lived in her own place. Aside from her career, she does not have any responsibility. She does not pay any bills (cell phone and all are still paid for by parents), and I think the lack of responsibility she requires in her everyday life plays a part in the fact that she feels no need to be punctual.
One day she will understand... maybe!
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| Posted 12/3/15 9:22 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
As someone who is always late, that's insane!!! I'm always like 15 minutes late... to everything... but 2 hours?! I'd tell her not to even bother.
ETA: And her reaction is ridiculous- you were a lot nicer than I would've been!
Message edited 12/3/2015 9:23:34 AM.
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| Posted 12/3/15 9:22 AM |
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MrsMango
LIF Infant
Member since 8/14 231 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
I have friends like that. chronic late Lucy's. now if I expect them at X time, I just tell them to show up an hour earlier. that way, they are always on time!
this exactly. I just know she will always be late & honestly it doesn't bother me. If we had "real" plans for something important i'd be upset but to watch tv, just relax, and hang out I wouldn't be upset over it. Then again if it was something important she wouldn't show up 2 hours late.
edit:spelling
Message edited 12/3/2015 9:25:08 AM.
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| Posted 12/3/15 9:24 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by cets1290
Posted by chilltocam
I wouldn't be happy a bout it at all. A few minutes late I can deal wth but HOURS???!!! No way. That means I've wasted my time waiting for her and could have done something else or made other plans. Other people wasting my time is a huge pet peeve of mine. One time, ok, I get it, things happen. But consistently - no. I'd stop making plans with her unless it was like a group going to a bar where people could show up whenever and no one was waiting for her to do something specific. What does your other friend think? (Sounds like she shows up to your house on time so is "stuck" waiting for her too?)
my big issue with it happening last night was that my father called and asked for a favor. I said i could not come over to help him out because i was expecting some guests. He was upset that I couldn't help. It all could have been avoided had i known they would be late, knowing I had 1.5/2 hours to spare in the meantime.
On a side note: I addressed the issue with my friend. I said that I don't mind if she is late, but that if she will get stuck at work in the future to just take the 20 secs to send me a text and say "stuck at work i'll be late." I explained the situation with my dad as an example of how time schedules can be very important to me. Needless to say, she was very upset and said she was going home because she is too stressed out to deal with it and does not need me to tell her how she should behave. So she left.
I think part of the issue is that she lives with her parents and does not/has not lived in her own place. Aside from her career, she does not have any responsibility. She does not pay any bills (cell phone and all are still paid for by parents), and I think the lack of responsibility she requires in her everyday life plays a part in the fact that she feels no need to be punctual.
One day she will understand... maybe!
how old is she?? she sounds very immature based on her response alone AND to top it off that she not only lives at home but has no responsibilities.
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| Posted 12/3/15 9:34 AM |
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cets1290
LIF Adult
Member since 6/14 1051 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by blu6385
Posted by cets1290
Posted by chilltocam
I wouldn't be happy a bout it at all. A few minutes late I can deal wth but HOURS???!!! No way. That means I've wasted my time waiting for her and could have done something else or made other plans. Other people wasting my time is a huge pet peeve of mine. One time, ok, I get it, things happen. But consistently - no. I'd stop making plans with her unless it was like a group going to a bar where people could show up whenever and no one was waiting for her to do something specific. What does your other friend think? (Sounds like she shows up to your house on time so is "stuck" waiting for her too?)
my big issue with it happening last night was that my father called and asked for a favor. I said i could not come over to help him out because i was expecting some guests. He was upset that I couldn't help. It all could have been avoided had i known they would be late, knowing I had 1.5/2 hours to spare in the meantime.
On a side note: I addressed the issue with my friend. I said that I don't mind if she is late, but that if she will get stuck at work in the future to just take the 20 secs to send me a text and say "stuck at work i'll be late." I explained the situation with my dad as an example of how time schedules can be very important to me. Needless to say, she was very upset and said she was going home because she is too stressed out to deal with it and does not need me to tell her how she should behave. So she left.
I think part of the issue is that she lives with her parents and does not/has not lived in her own place. Aside from her career, she does not have any responsibility. She does not pay any bills (cell phone and all are still paid for by parents), and I think the lack of responsibility she requires in her everyday life plays a part in the fact that she feels no need to be punctual.
One day she will understand... maybe!
how old is she?? she sounds very immature based on her response alone AND to top it off that she not only lives at home but has no responsibilities.
mid/late 20s. Yes I know. I am beginning to realize that myself and other friends in the group have been "moving up" and she is kind of in the same place since high school. As I continue to grow and mature (getting married, getting a house, starting a family of my own), I feel the divide more and more between us. I know these things happen, but it saddens me a bit.
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| Posted 12/3/15 10:00 AM |
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