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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Did you ever think of adopting?
No you f'ing moron...we've dealt with infertility all these years and that never, ever crossed our minds...thanks for the tip!
SO SICK OF HEARING THIS!!! 
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Posted 1/8/12 12:33 PM  |
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Blazesyth
*yawn*
Member since 5/05 8129 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
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| Posted 1/8/12 5:40 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
People are idiots. 
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| Posted 1/8/12 8:48 PM |
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KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy
Member since 3/09 1579 total posts
Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Tell them you're not looking to get a dog or cat anytime soon  I am not making light of what you are going through just trying to give you a response to shut them up! Sorry you have to deal with all of this
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| Posted 1/8/12 8:49 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Lord have mercy
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| Posted 1/8/12 11:38 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by Christine
People are idiots.
for sure!!
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| Posted 1/9/12 9:05 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
people suck really hard sometimes...i'm sorry
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| Posted 1/9/12 4:20 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
UGH. SO rude.
In their defense, they probably didn't mean to sound as stupid as they did. As an adoptee and someone who one days plans to adopt, I PERSONALLY in my own biased mind have a hard time understanding why someone who really wanted a child would prefer to remain childless rather than adopting a child. Like, to me it's just a puzzling thing. So they are probably not trying to be stupid and insensitive, they may just be like me where adoption would seem the obvious choice.
How I differ is that I don't really make a habit of imposing my opinions of such personal matters on others.
I REALLY hate it when people ask me when I'm going to have kids. I think it's SO rude. How do you know I'm not trying and struggling with IF? How do you know I even want kids?
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| Posted 1/12/12 2:08 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by JenniferEver
UGH. SO rude.
In their defense, they probably didn't mean to sound as stupid as they did. As an adoptee and someone who one days plans to adopt, I PERSONALLY in my own biased mind have a hard time understanding why someone who really wanted a child would prefer to remain childless rather than adopting a child. Like, to me it's just a puzzling thing.
But at this point, you have to think a step further and say that there's a reason why they havent adopted. Just because that reason hasnt occurred to you, doesnt mean it hasnt occurred to them.
Message edited 1/12/2012 5:02:34 PM.
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| Posted 1/12/12 5:02 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by JenniferEver
UGH. SO rude.
In their defense, they probably didn't mean to sound as stupid as they did. As an adoptee and someone who one days plans to adopt, I PERSONALLY in my own biased mind have a hard time understanding why someone who really wanted a child would prefer to remain childless rather than adopting a child. Like, to me it's just a puzzling thing.
But at this point, you have to think a step further and say that there's a reason why they havent adopted. Just because that reason hasnt occurred to you, doesnt mean it hasnt occurred to them.
Yeah, that's why I would never say anything, but I know for me personally, I can't imagine a possible reason, so I don't think they are trying to be rude.
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| Posted 1/12/12 5:19 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by JenniferEver
Yeah, that's why I would never say anything, but I know for me personally, I can't imagine a possible reason, so I don't think they are trying to be rude.
I guess my point is that there is a reason even if you cant imagine one.
But bravo to you for not saying anything. I wish you could teach a thing or two to the people in my circle of life. 
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| Posted 1/12/12 5:22 PM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by JenniferEver
UGH. SO rude.
In their defense, they probably didn't mean to sound as stupid as they did. As an adoptee and someone who one days plans to adopt, I PERSONALLY in my own biased mind have a hard time understanding why someone who really wanted a child would prefer to remain childless rather than adopting a child. Like, to me it's just a puzzling thing.
But at this point, you have to think a step further and say that there's a reason why they havent adopted. Just because that reason hasnt occurred to you, doesnt mean it hasnt occurred to them.
thank you, yes...when people have dealt with years and years of IF, and promises that it will happen, sometimes by the time you realize its NOT going to happen you are just done- physically, emotionally, financially, whatever. And, adoption these days is no easy feat either...
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| Posted 1/12/12 5:24 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
That's so hard
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| Posted 1/12/12 5:36 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
I got this from many people in the time we've been trying ......
Unfortunately since I had some losses, people at work knew about our journey and I even had some coworkers give me some unsolicited advice about adoption!
I think adoption is a wonderful thing, but OF COURSE I have thought of the idea!! My husband and I have had conversations about it and we have a game plan.. What do these people think, they will just utter the word adoption.. and we'll be like... OHHH MANNN I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!! 
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| Posted 1/15/12 8:18 PM |
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MrsS1976
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/11 534 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
If anyone asked me that question, I wouldnt take it as a "has the idea of adoption ever occurred to you" but more of a "would you adopt, why or why not?". Its not so much a rude question as a conversation starter from people who are curious about whether youre really CF by choice, or IF issues..
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| Posted 1/15/12 11:58 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by MrsS1976
If anyone asked me that question, I wouldnt take it as a "has the idea of adoption ever occurred to you" but more of a "would you adopt, why or why not?". Its not so much a rude question as a conversation starter from people who are curious about whether youre really CF by choice, or IF issues..
Personally, I just don't think it's anyone's business why a person is childless. That's just my opinion of course! If I was not open about my journey, I wouldn't appreciate people trying to figure out my situation.
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| Posted 1/16/12 12:28 AM |
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MrsS1976
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/11 534 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by MrsS1976
If anyone asked me that question, I wouldnt take it as a "has the idea of adoption ever occurred to you" but more of a "would you adopt, why or why not?". Its not so much a rude question as a conversation starter from people who are curious about whether youre really CF by choice, or IF issues..
Personally, I just don't think it's anyone's business why a person is childless. That's just my opinion of course! If I was not open about my journey, I wouldn't appreciate people trying to figure out my situation.
Oh of course, I agree. Its nobodys business whether you or I aee CF and why we are CF, but nosy people exist everywhere. If I got that question, its a dead giveaway to me that the person asking is 1)rude (esp if its a stranger), or 2) nosy (fishing for details on why you are CF, because you chose it or biological problems).
Personally, I put it right out there because I expect strangers to ask me stupid questions (cuz thats just how I roll ) and tell ppl we are CF by choice because we just prefer to invest in our careers than starting a family. I had no desire for kids since age 15 and dont see that changing anytime soon.
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| Posted 1/16/12 12:43 AM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by MrsS1976
If anyone asked me that question, I wouldnt take it as a "has the idea of adoption ever occurred to you" but more of a "would you adopt, why or why not?". Its not so much a rude question as a conversation starter from people who are curious about whether youre really CF by choice, or IF issues..
The question always is asked to me after I explain that we did 13 IVFs...
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| Posted 1/16/12 10:07 AM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by LisaW
Posted by MrsS1976
If anyone asked me that question, I wouldnt take it as a "has the idea of adoption ever occurred to you" but more of a "would you adopt, why or why not?". Its not so much a rude question as a conversation starter from people who are curious about whether youre really CF by choice, or IF issues..
The question always is asked to me after I explain that we did 13 IVFs...
why can't people just s t f u and not give people the 3rd degree about their life? Its none of their business!
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| Posted 1/16/12 10:39 AM |
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nyligirl
LIF Infant
Member since 2/11 200 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
People are unbelievably ignorant! 
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| Posted 1/16/12 6:24 PM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
i'm sorry!  people are sooo stupid with thier comments!!
BUT.....
Posted by JenniferEver
as someone who one days plans to adopt, I PERSONALLY in my own biased mind have a hard time understanding why someone who really wanted a child would prefer to remain childless rather than adopting a child. Like, to me it's just a puzzling thing. So they are probably not trying to be stupid and insensitive, they may just be like me where adoption would seem the obvious choice.
I COMPLETELY agree with this! people probably don't mean to be rude to you (althought I know it comes across that way).... they are probably just thinking "If she really wants to be a mother, and have a child... here is this other route that could make it possible." They probably just want to see you end the IF treatment roller coaster you've been on, and accomplish your goal.
I'm actually in the process of adopting a baby boy from Korea... and this is how I feel. I've known since I was young that getting pregnant would be pretty much impossible for me. We could either do IF treatments with donor eggs, or adopt. to me, it was going to be a HARD, LONG road either way. BUT, i felt that with adoption, in the end I was pretty much guaranteed to be a mom. I couldn't say that about going through IF treatments...
My end goal was to be a mom- and I'm going to accomplish it. Granted, I'll miss out on all the morning sickness and childbirth discussions with my friends... but, in the end that didn't matter to me. What matters is that I get to raise a child. I found a quote by Oprah that I LOVE "Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother..." The easiest part of being a mom is the pregnancy and giving birth.... the hard part is everything after. And you'll still get to do that stuff if you adopt...
I'm not saying adoption is the easy way out- far from it!! My son is 14 months old now, adorable as anything... but we have no idea when we will be able to bring home BUT i know he WILL be home someday. I'll reach my goal of being a mom... and i'm sure thats all your friends want for you, too
Message edited 1/16/2012 7:33:29 PM.
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| Posted 1/16/12 7:30 PM |
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Kazuri
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 703 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
It makes you want to look at them with a dumbfounded expression and say "is there such a thing?!" And watch them squirm as it hits them how freaking insensitive and stupid they sound.
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| Posted 1/17/12 5:05 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by ml110
i'm sorry! people are sooo stupid with thier comments!!
BUT.....
Posted by JenniferEver
as someone who one days plans to adopt, I PERSONALLY in my own biased mind have a hard time understanding why someone who really wanted a child would prefer to remain childless rather than adopting a child. Like, to me it's just a puzzling thing. So they are probably not trying to be stupid and insensitive, they may just be like me where adoption would seem the obvious choice.
I COMPLETELY agree with this! people probably don't mean to be rude to you (althought I know it comes across that way).... they are probably just thinking "If she really wants to be a mother, and have a child... here is this other route that could make it possible." They probably just want to see you end the IF treatment roller coaster you've been on, and accomplish your goal.
I'm actually in the process of adopting a baby boy from Korea... and this is how I feel. I've known since I was young that getting pregnant would be pretty much impossible for me. We could either do IF treatments with donor eggs, or adopt. to me, it was going to be a HARD, LONG road either way. BUT, i felt that with adoption, in the end I was pretty much guaranteed to be a mom. I couldn't say that about going through IF treatments...
My end goal was to be a mom- and I'm going to accomplish it. Granted, I'll miss out on all the morning sickness and childbirth discussions with my friends... but, in the end that didn't matter to me. What matters is that I get to raise a child. I found a quote by Oprah that I LOVE "Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother..." The easiest part of being a mom is the pregnancy and giving birth.... the hard part is everything after. And you'll still get to do that stuff if you adopt...
I'm not saying adoption is the easy way out- far from it!! My son is 14 months old now, adorable as anything... but we have no idea when we will be able to bring home BUT i know he WILL be home someday. I'll reach my goal of being a mom... and i'm sure thats all your friends want for you, too
What a beautiful story! It sounds like you are going to be a great mom!
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| Posted 1/17/12 6:54 PM |
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ihilani
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 858 total posts
Name:
alias
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
Posted by Kazuri
It makes you want to look at them with a dumbfounded expression and say "is there such a thing?!" And watch them squirm as it hits them how freaking insensitive and stupid they sound.
Yes!
People suck!
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| Posted 1/17/12 8:56 PM |
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hdrd0411
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1923 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Did you ever think of adopting?
I don't understand why this is a bad question? I mean if you can't have children, but you want children, why wouldn't this be an honest question
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| Posted 1/20/12 3:34 PM |
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