DH is a real JERK sometimes

DH is a salesman, when sales are good, things are great, when sales are bad, things are bad. I HATE this!!! The last two months he's been below his goal and today I called him from the dentist and told him I was going to stop and get some soup on the way home. I got home and he freaked out that we have 9 cans of soup in the cabnet already and I waste money. I just got screamed out for taking him for granted (I don't work, I'm a full time student) that he has the weight of the world on his shoulders, he has to take care of all the bills and I spend money without regard for him. Not for nothing, but it was soup, and I told him to look at the cc bills, it's either the supermarket or gas. I'm not into name brands, I don't buy clothes, shoes, etc. I DO NOT waste money. I'm so angry and sad. I don't want to fight over money!!!

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

's to you.

Just an idea...but, what if you got a part-time job when he is having a slow sales cycle? I know being a full time student is a full time job in itself, but it might take some pressure off of him.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

I could understand if it was something important.... but soup? Thats rather petty.

Especially since something like soup can be stored forever! Its not like you bought extra milk which will go bad in a week.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

he brought work home...and he is still upset about it. u need to leave work at the office

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

I think the reason you guys are stressed out is due to money issues. This on top of his lack of sales is adding to the problem. I would advise that you two speak when you are both calm and try to see what is bothering him. I would aslo tell him that I appreciate all his hard work, but you are also under stress since you don't like the fcat that you are not working, and that you are both making sacrifices since you are in school right now. Just relax and do talk when you are both in a better mood, if not things will get out of hand and I'm sure you don't want that. Good luck!!!

Message edited 3/2/2006 12:37:19 PM.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

we have the same issues Fh gets stressed and the littlest thing sets him off.....I cant wait to get off the expensive island!!!

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

I get the same thing some times when it's a bad month- and I make my own money-so that might not be the quick fix

sales jobs are high pressure- and you have to take the good with the bad- Men aren't good at that

hang in there

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

This is not about soup. It sounds like he is having a bad day/week/month and is frustrated and upset about it. Unfortunately, we tend to take it out on people we care about us. Try talking to him when he calms down

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Oh - DH and I are in the same boat right now. Things are a little different - but we are going through the same thing.
DH doesn't want me to work - mind you that I am 6 months pregnant and this was his reasoning for not working. I am very grateful that he doesn't want me working, but I keep seeing the bills add up - and it is killing me. We don't watch money as much as we should, but really it is only for food that we spend a little too much.

I started to sell Avon on the side, to try and make up some money - but it really isn't taking off (I need some more clients).
But I am also looking into finding something for the next 3 months to try and make some money - so we don't have these arguments anymore.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

I can Def relate!
Things aren't so great right now,Rick is in Business for himself(Drywall)and things have been slow lately
When things are like this we are fighting over money constantly,I find this very draining & stressfull!
Just want you to know you are not alone and it won't always be like this

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Actually - I can say we just had this argument on the phone again 2 minutes ago

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

so sorry
I would sit down and have a talk with him once both of you are calm.

more

.....

Message edited 12/21/2011 11:53:58 AM.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

He is nervous, scared and instead of telling you this, he is reacting to the soup....I am the one at home re REACT, where my DH internalizes it. But lately we have been pretty good about it. It is sad that we can blow up about an issue, but use a 'can of soup' as the problem. If you have the option--Maybe put $$ in savings so when it is a slow month (or 2) there will be something to fall back on.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

DH and I never fight about anything except money, who spends more, who works harder. Like another poster my DH is in the mortgage biz which can make for some great months and some rough ones. e agreed a few months ago that money stress can not get in the middle of our relationship. Having those issues is stressful enough without worrying abot your relationship on top of it. My conversation was-it is stressful enough to have money issues we need to act as a team and keep it positive because this too shall pass.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

I'm in sales too and I just wanted to offer a word on your DH's behalf. While he really should try not to bring work home with him sometimes it can be hard.

At my company if you don't hit goal for 3 months in a row you are on probabtion and if no goal in the 4th-6th month you are out.

My salary is 40% base and 60% commission from my sales so if I don't hit goal I don't get paid fully. If I exceed goal my income is uncapped.

Sales people have a tendency to let their success or failure at work define them. A good day, a big sale, feels REALLY good, it's a high. A bad month hurts your ego, your wallet and your job security. It drags on until the month ends you get pressure from above, you see your colleagues hit goal and you feel like a failure. Then on the first of the next month the clock resets and it starts all over again.

I HIGHLY recommend a book for your DH to read, it's basic sales 101 but really helps show how to separate success and failures in sales from the same things in life and how to remember to be a person and not a sales person when you leave the office. The book is "You Can't Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike at a Seminar"

Maybe you're upset with him now, and I can understand why but remember one of these months when he knocks it out of the park and brings home a HUGE commission - celebrate big.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Posted by melijane

we should start a support groups- Wives of Mortgage brokers- I'm in

Quoting never works for me but you get the idea. Beth I am so with you. My BIL has his own office and SIL gets so pizzed off. My DH works from home. I hate the sooooo are you getting a check this week? question. It is stressful but hopefully worth it in the end.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

it wasn't about the soup. He's obviously stressed out and that was his outlet to vent about. He's probably worried because when he's slow he can provide for his family as well as when sales are good. Don't take it too much to heart. He's just trying to make sure that you guys are taken care of.

You're both STRESSED. But you know stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS. GO get some sweets and talk about it.

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Its the only thing DH and I fight about too... well, actually that and cleaning. Its soooo hard to own a home and live on LI with so many bills!!!!

Re: DH is a real JERK sometimes

Thanks so much for all of your support. DH is on a sit right now, I just that he makes a sale today!!! I know it wasn't about the soup and his bad days aren't all screaming, but it's unhealthy to feel this much stress. His job is commissions ONLY, which makes it worse. I swear he turns bright red and I feel like he's going to explode or have a heart attack.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks, it's nice to know I'm not alone !!!

Kelly