DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

All they do is nag me, make comments, and pick over what I am or am not doing. Here is what they've complained about (so far):

-I shouldn't be going to the gym or overexerting myself
-I shouldn't be sitting cross-legged (I was just told this last night)
-I shouldn't be lifting things
-I shouldn't be bending over
-If I get out of bed after 8 hours of sleep and feel rested, he complains that I should be getting more rest
-I shouldn't be sleeping on my tummy (I'm 14 weeks)

My DH also bugs me about what I'm eating all day long. If I have a granola bar, he complains that I shouldn't be eating processed food.

The icing on the cake is that when DH makes these comments, he says that I'm selfish, that I only care about myself, and if I cared about the baby, I wouldn't be doing them.

I've vented to my mom but I don't want to overburden her with too much because she just gets upset. All their comments are stressing me and making me break out. If his mom makes a comment, I'll point it out to DH after we just end up arguing. When I tell him that he & his mom are driving me crazy, he says that he trusts what his mother says - after all, she's been through all this before and I haven't

Are they right? My doctor hasn't given me any restrictions thusfar. Is there any basis for their comments/"concern"? If not, how can I make them STOP??

TIA

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

I'm sorry

I do every single thing you are doing and I'm 19 weeks and I'm pretty sure every other mom to be does also!

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

I totally understand, although its my aunt who is always bugging me and giving me her opinion.
I can't bend, lift, etc. She called me last night, I told her I was going for a walk, she screamed 'YOU'RE WALKING!!?!?!?!!!!". She's driving me insane. I just politely change the subject when she gets me crazy.

Do anything and everything that makes you feel good, as long as your doc gives the ok. They know best!
Maybe suggest to MIL and DH that your doc gave the ok to do ______, then hopefully they will lay off?

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

Tell them to shove it.

I'd probably flip out on both of them- then again, I'm 36 weeks and hormonal so I may be a little more sensitive


Just yes them to death. Use your best discretion and listen to your doctor.

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

I would tell them to stop ganging up on you and pick up a book before running their mouths andmaking ignorant comments. You are the babys mother and that trumps both of them.
Lol ok maybe not so harshbut i would def stand up for myself seing as ur dh isnt helping.
PS. Ihave so would make dh read a pregnancy book.

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

I would tell my husband to come to the doctor with me and bring up all of these concerns.

I would also tell him the stress and anxiety he is causing you by micromanaging and analyzing every move you make is not good for the baby. You love him and know he wants nothing but the best for you but, If he cared about the baby he would read some pregnancy books about what to do and not to do, and trust that you would not do anything to put this child in harms way.

At the doctor appointment he can address anything that is still lingering on his mind, or was not addressed in his books.I would make sure to have a list (or have him bring a list so he doesn't forget anything).

I would also try be supportive of him because in the end, he is scared, he has no control over anything right now, and ultimately he does love you!!!

ETA: This is coming from a woman who is not always rational and does have very hormonal flip outs on her husband. I can tell you I would not want to live with myself when I'm pregnant!

Message edited 11/12/2011 3:37:59 PM.

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

I WISH DH would be bugging me to get more sleep.

All the other stuff is annoying. Tell DH that there are MANY things you must sacfrifice. But he needs to get a grip. And as far as MIL, I would tell her politely that it's your body and you will do what's best for your baby. If you have any questions, you will ask.

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

Okay...I'm reading this and I am thinking to myself....

If I shouldn't be overexherting myself then are they willing to do ALL of the cleaning...

All of the laundry...

All of the grocery shopping and errands?

Or will that stuff just fall along the wayside?

I mean seriously!

I almost wish people would tell me to take it a little bit more easy! I do everything around here (as I just finished scrubbing hte bathroom floor on my hands and knees) and I'd love for them to take the duty over from me.

But I also know that if I wasn't doing it, noone would, and we'd be bringing baby home to a nasty house!

So I'd probably be the snarky wife and when DH told me that I shouldn't be overexherting myself I'd tell him to have fun scrubbing the floor!

And see how long it lasted for!

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

i would tell them both to shove it!!



get him a book to understand pregnancy/fetal development. like a "What to Expect" type of book. then if he doesn't want to read it, call him selfish!

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

If it makes you feel any better...no on will care about what you say, do or eat with your next pregnancy! I kinda wish DH would nag me like he did two years ago!

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!

I'm in my second pregnancy and I am still getting people commenting on what I should or shouldn't be doing. People just don't know when to shut their mouths. DH has been coming with me to almost every appt. with both pregnancies and I tell him, if you have a concern, ask. The doctor is the final say and that's what I tell people. Sometimes, its easier to nod your head at them and then do whatever you want. I have people telling me that I can't pick up my two year old son now . Seriouslly - I'm not going to pick up my son. What planet are people living on???? Oh, and when I went for my 12 week NT scan the doctor there said that the sac the baby is in actually protects the baby if I sleep on my stomach, so that nixes that. I'm 18.5 weeks right now and although it's not comfortable to sleep on my stomach, sometimes I end up there. There are some good books that my husband read for dads during our first pregnancy. Maybe, if he's a reader, pick up one of those. I hope things get a bit better.

Re: DH & MIL are driving me crazy!!