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lucky1007
My Princess is Here!
Member since 11/11 1131 total posts
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deleted
thanks for the input ladies!
Message edited 5/22/2013 11:33:59 AM.
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Posted 5/22/13 10:38 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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would this upset you at ALL?
No, but I don't expect anyone to make major life decisions around anyone but themselves. It is her life to live.
Look at it this way, if she were getting married in February and you were TTC now--would you put TTC on hold b/c it might interfere with her upcoming wedding?? I doubt it.
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| Posted 5/22/13 10:45 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: would this upset you at ALL?
I would not be upset, likely she picked it bc she wants that month and the fri or sat happens to be yoru DD. Odds are baby will NOT be born on that day.
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| Posted 5/22/13 10:49 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: would this upset you at ALL?
Posted by Katareen
No, but I don't expect anyone to make major life decisions around anyone but themselves. It is her life to live.
Look at it this way, if she were getting married in February and you were TTC now--would you put TTC on hold b/c it might interfere with her upcoming wedding?? I doubt it.
I agree.
If she planned her wedding on her due date- when you definitely wouldn't be able to make it- I'd be upset. But not for a possible first birthday.
ETA: I'm sure her and her BF didn't sit and plan to have their wedding on what may be your DCs 1st birthday just to spite you. It sounds like DH has other issues with your sister or her BF
Message edited 5/22/2013 10:51:08 AM.
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| Posted 5/22/13 10:49 AM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: would this upset you at ALL?
Honestly? I'd be sad that my sister was moving away bc I'd miss her, but the situation as a whole would not upset me. I'm sure she will be a part of your LOs life, regardless of where she is living... PA isn't that far. As for the wedding/birthday situation... don't sweat it. Your LO isn't even born yet, so it's not like she chose your LOs birthday as her wedding day KWIM?
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| Posted 5/22/13 10:59 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Re: would this upset you at ALL?
Posted by Katareen
No, but I don't expect anyone to make major life decisions around anyone but themselves. It is her life to live.
My thoughts exactly.
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:02 AM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: would this upset you at ALL?
Would I be upset about my sister leaving the area? Sure. But I wouldn't be upset at her for leaving in my child's first year. I am extremely close with my siblings, and living in a different city for my nephew's first year has been extremely tough for me, but we are adults now and I make decisions for ME while they make decisions for THEM. My sister just got engaged this past weekend. The wedding will be next spring/summer in Toronto. I have told her that later in June works better for me, as I will be off work and have the time to travel. In May I will just be back at work from leave, so taking days off won't be easy. It also won't be easy to do a quick, 3 day trip for her wedding with an infant. I explained this all to her and then added but it is YOUR wedding, we will make it work no matter what, do what you want. I personally think that, when close with siblings, though you can make your feelings clear - in the end we can not be upset by their decisions because it is theirs to make, KWIM?
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:02 AM |
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babycrazed
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/12 475 total posts
Name:
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would this upset you at ALL?
I would probably be upset about her moving, but only bc I would miss her, not bc I would think she should stay to be close to my kids. I wouldn't expect her to plan her life with her family around where I'm living with mine.
As for the wedding date, I would probably be annoyed b/c my baby's first birthday is a big deal to ME and I might feel like a wedding planned anywhere near it would take away from it, BUT it's a big deal to me bc its my baby. I wouldn't expect anyone else to plan their life around it, so I would accept that i didn't really have a right to be annoyed and wouldn't say anything.
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:04 AM |
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would this upset you at ALL?
I don't think it would upset me. My older sister and I are really close and when she was getting married she was moving closer to Philly instead of closer to NY (she lives in Jersey). I was upset she wouldn't be close to see her nephew grow but she'll come to visit. Her ex-fiance worked in Philly and she needed to be close to him.
I know you said her FH will be deployed and not even living in PA but thinking about it (and I'm not the biggest fan of my MIL) I would probably move too, even if he wasn't there. This way when he does come home fro leave or for good I'm already there and we have a life already set up. Then he wouldn't have to come to NY to see me and then PA to see his family. He wouldn't have to choose and we can all be together.
I know it s*cks!!! Don't stress about the wedding date, you could end up going a month early and then it really doesn't matter. And your sister will come visit, PA isn't that far. Try to help her out with whatever she asks and enjoy her while she still lives home.
PS - I have a younger sister who DH and I think can also "do better" but she's with her BF for almost 3 years and I'm sure they will get married. As long as he's not hitting her or abusing her in anyway, DH and I have just learned to live with it.
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:12 AM |
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lucky1007
My Princess is Here!
Member since 11/11 1131 total posts
Name:
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Re: would this upset you at ALL?
Posted by MandJZ
Would I be upset about my sister leaving the area? Sure. But I wouldn't be upset at her for leaving in my child's first year. I am extremely close with my siblings, and living in a different city for my nephew's first year has been extremely tough for me, but we are adults now and I make decisions for ME while they make decisions for THEM. My sister just got engaged this past weekend. The wedding will be next spring/summer in Toronto. I have told her that later in June works better for me, as I will be off work and have the time to travel. In May I will just be back at work from leave, so taking days off won't be easy. It also won't be easy to do a quick, 3 day trip for her wedding with an infant. I explained this all to her and then added but it is YOUR wedding, we will make it work no matter what, do what you want. I personally think that, when close with siblings, though you can make your feelings clear - in the end we can not be upset by their decisions because it is theirs to make, KWIM?
Yes I know what you mean. Trust me, I'm used to her making decisions for herself. He's going to be overseas for a year, so I guess I'm just upset that she'd rather leave to be with no one (well his family will be there) than stay for a few more months and be with me and my fam you know? Plus, it was nice that you discussed the whole wedding thing with your sister. My sister just called and said this is what's happening there wasn't even a convo, and my mother is upset that she conversed with his family but not ours.
Ahh whatever. Hormones prob don't help either. We're all just happy she didn't come home married lol.
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:12 AM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: would this upset you at ALL?
No i wouldn't be upset about this. Honestly, her getting married is HUGE deal to her.... much more so than you having a baby.
I'm sorry your sister is moving away. 
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:15 AM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: would this upset you at ALL?
Posted by lucky1007
Posted by MandJZ
Would I be upset about my sister leaving the area? Sure. But I wouldn't be upset at her for leaving in my child's first year. I am extremely close with my siblings, and living in a different city for my nephew's first year has been extremely tough for me, but we are adults now and I make decisions for ME while they make decisions for THEM. My sister just got engaged this past weekend. The wedding will be next spring/summer in Toronto. I have told her that later in June works better for me, as I will be off work and have the time to travel. In May I will just be back at work from leave, so taking days off won't be easy. It also won't be easy to do a quick, 3 day trip for her wedding with an infant. I explained this all to her and then added but it is YOUR wedding, we will make it work no matter what, do what you want. I personally think that, when close with siblings, though you can make your feelings clear - in the end we can not be upset by their decisions because it is theirs to make, KWIM?
Yes I know what you mean. Trust me, I'm used to her making decisions for herself. He's going to be overseas for a year, so I guess I'm just upset that she'd rather leave to be with no one (well his family will be there) than stay for a few more months and be with me and my fam you know? Plus, it was nice that you discussed the whole wedding thing with your sister. My sister just called and said this is what's happening there wasn't even a convo, and my mother is upset that she conversed with his family but not ours.
Ahh whatever. Hormones prob don't help either. We're all just happy she didn't come home married lol.
I do get it, and the hormones for sure play a role! I didn't add that despite my input, they are likely having the wedding on a weekend in May anyways. It isn't the best scenario for DH and I, but it's their wedding. I totally get that it's annoying and frustrating and, if you're close, maybe a little hurtful. And that makes total sense! But I also think that the best thing for you and the baby is to let go, focus on your life and what you have going on, and worry about her wedding at a much, much later point in time 
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:17 AM |
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lucky1007
My Princess is Here!
Member since 11/11 1131 total posts
Name:
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Re: would this upset you at ALL?
Posted by ourlivesstartnow2012
I don't think it would upset me. My older sister and I are really close and when she was getting married she was moving closer to Philly instead of closer to NY (she lives in Jersey). I was upset she wouldn't be close to see her nephew grow but she'll come to visit. Her ex-fiance worked in Philly and she needed to be close to him.
I know you said her FH will be deployed and not even living in PA but thinking about it (and I'm not the biggest fan of my MIL) I would probably move too, even if he wasn't there. This way when he does come home fro leave or for good I'm already there and we have a life already set up. Then he wouldn't have to come to NY to see me and then PA to see his family. He wouldn't have to choose and we can all be together.
I know it s*cks!!! Don't stress about the wedding date, you could end up going a month early and then it really doesn't matter. And your sister will come visit, PA isn't that far. Try to help her out with whatever she asks and enjoy her while she still lives home.
PS - I have a younger sister who DH and I think can also "do better" but she's with her BF for almost 3 years and I'm sure they will get married. As long as he's not hitting her or abusing her in anyway, DH and I have just learned to live with it.
Thanks! I know it's just hard to adjust to the whole thing. She literally left for vacay and then this whole thing happened and she's not even home yet. I agree she could be with far worse so I guess I should be happy of that. And DH really isn't a fan of his so it's even harder bc I don't want DH and I to have tension bc of the whole thing you know.
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| Posted 5/22/13 11:18 AM |
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