Daycare incident- need advice

DH dropped Tyler off this morning and was approached by the teacher. She said Tyler pulled the wooden kitchen playset over and 3 kids were trapped underneath and hurt as a result. DH had to sign an accident report and was also asked to speak with the center director. Well, the center director was busy this morning. That means I will have to meet with her when I pick up this evening.
DH was complety pissed off that they always make our son sound like the devil. Also, we were supposed to get a phone call immediately when accidents happen. I don't know if they never called us because Tyler wasn't the one who got hurt. But approaching DH the next morning and hearing about this for the first time is not acceptable! DH felt like he was being attacked!

I don't know what stance to take with the center director when I see her. She's always nice, nice and nothing is ever a problem. Should I apologize for my son's behavior? I don't want to jeopardize his position/ enrollment at school.
Should I throw it back at them and question their ability to watch the kids? Honestly, if 4 boys were play with one kitchen set there will be trouble. They should have pulled them apart before the accident happens. Second of all, I think all heavy furniture, especially large wooden ones should be achored to the wall. I just don't know what to say. He doesn't act like this at home because there are no other children at home. We anchor all our furniture. We keep an eye on him. We make sure he doesn't climb on top of furniture. Is that so hard to do?
We constantly have to sign these stupid accident reports. We get an activity sheet daily. All the comments are negative. My son is pushing kids to the ground, throwing toys. He doesn't do that a play dates. Maybe he's not happy there. But when I go to pick him up he's always happy.
What to do?

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

So what are the other incidents? And how often do they happen. Im asking because if your son is exhibiting a pattern of "bad" or "violent" behavior they do need to address is with you. All of our kids act totally different in daycare good or bad.

I would NOT be defensive when discussing this with the director. I would take the approach : "what can WE do to figure out the REASON WHY he is acting this way"

Is he bored? Is he tired? is he Hungry? do the incidents happen at a certain time of day so you can pinpoint if its one of the above.

Is there a personality conflict between the kids...

How many teachers to a class and hom many kids n the room at any given time.


I would def ask for "help" in figuring this out. They are with him.. they need to give you some guidance in this!!

If there too much FREE PLAY TIME!! Maybe split the kids more into two groups so they arent' ontop of eachother ALL DAY!!

Just a few things off the top of my head.. ill probably add!!

ETA: see if there is a way you can view the room for a day. My Daycare has a separate room with cameras that you can view.

Message edited 2/2/2012 11:56:56 AM.

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

He's had reports of biting, attempted biting, shoving/ pushing and throwing toys. He doesn't bite anymore, I guess he outgrew that phase. Last month he pulled a wooden bookshelf off the wall. Luckily no one else was hurt but DS was pinned underneath with a bruised thigh. DH had asked them previously why furniture aren't anchored to the wall. I don't remember what their response was. But since then they replaced the bookshelves with lower ones. We fill out accident reports 3-4 times a month. Other moms tell me they constantly have to sign accident reports too so I guess it's just their policy but we've never had to speak with the center director.
They do have cameras and I've watched it for a few minutes here and there. Everything seemed normal. I haven't watch for the entire day. Maybe I should take a day off from work to do that. But I know if I do, that will be the ONE day he doesn't have get an accident report.
The class ratio is 1:4 as regulated by the state. His class is all boys so they're all trouble makers in my opinion.
i will take your advice and approach the center director to help with the situation. I really don't want to start pointing fingers. Some ppl might hold a grudge and i don't want that tension while my son is still under their care.

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

I would actually bring up all the points i pionted out.. They need to pay attention to the reasons why it's happening and not blaming you know!!

Keeping them busy with activites eliminates these incidents!!! too much free time or lack of space creates this kind of environment.

Also how are they reprimanding your son when he pushes or pulls things?? that's def a question i would ask.. obviously its not affective..and maybe you have some suggestions..

The need to join with you to solve this!!

good luck! keep my posted!!

Obviosly I had daycare issues as well except the opposite.. my son wast he chew toy in the room!!

ETA: my son is at Tutor time.. nothing is anchored to the wall.. they cahnge the rooms so often it wouldn't make sense.

Message edited 2/2/2012 12:22:34 PM.

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

ITA agree with everything Linda just stated.
Don't go in there with your defense up. Discuss the situations and how to better the environment
There needs to be a better way to stop it from happening
I like the points about splitting into groups
DS's class does this all the time so everyone isn't having "free play"

Also have to add... in my son's toddler class the book shelves and other big sets aren't anchored to the floor. I don't think any child (let's hope it doesn't happen) has ever pulled it over

How is the class size and where is the teacher usually where they can see the whole room. Is there too much heavy toys in one area or piled together where there are too many kids ganging together in one area. If that's the case then yes... an accident is bound to happen.
Work together with the teacher and director so incidents like this don't happen anymore
Good luck

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

How old is your son?

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

My son also goes to TT. He has also been bit. One time the kid bit him so hard it broke skin and he had a bruise on his arm.
He has set playtimes, nap times and snack time. There are 8 boys in the class, one lead teacher and one assistant teacher. I don't think they will change their curriculum just because of this. I'm pretty sure all TT have the same curriculum/ schedule. I think he has 2 free play indoors and 2 outdoor play each day. I've never had an accident report filed in the playground. I guess there's nothing for him to throw or knock over.
I've asked the lead teacher what they do to reprimand and discipline kids after incidents like this. She told me they're not allowed to punish them. The will tell them no and remove them from the immediate scene until they calm down. But that was in the older infant room. He is now 19 months and has moved to the first toddler room. I would think he can understand more. I hope they do more. If I wait till we get home to discipline him, he won't know what I'm talking about.
This is not the first time he's pulled heavy objects away from the wall. Obviously he's capable of it. I'm going to suggest anchoring heavy furniture and toys to the wall.

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

Im confused..your son has had repeated incident reports of hitting, biting and knocking things down and you're upset with the daycare?

b/c he doesnt do it at home or on playdates doesnt mean he wont behave differently at daycare. DS does things at daycare that he doesnt do at home.

It could be he's bored or not stimulated enough there. I would watch the video during the day closely to see if you have webcam access and see if you notice any sort of pattern. Maybe someone was bothering him and the teacher didnt see, but it escalated into something bigger.

if 4 kids are playing with a kitchen it doesnt necessarily mean it has to be trouble and that automatically kids should be separated.

I dont know..i would be concerned that my kid was exhibiting this kind of behavior all the time and would have to work with the daycare to figure it out.

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

Its not about changing the curriculam...it's about knowing the dynamic of the room. For ex: Tutor time found that the biting was happening during transiition before lunch.. so they made sure that they put another teacher their duing that time to see what was happening.

They also had two sets of acitivities going on at once so all 8 kids aren't trying to do the same think int he same space...there are things that can and should be willing to do. Our tutor time was more than accomodating b/c lets face it ..it looks bad for them to keep having incidents.

anchoring the furniture IMO is not the answer..they have to get to the WHY instead of bandaiding the problem.

Message edited 2/2/2012 2:24:04 PM.

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

Message edited 2/2/2012 4:34:50 PM.

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

Re: Daycare incident- need advice

kids r kids. they should have been watching four boys playing and when it got rough despite who started it they should end it.... and they should have set up a meeting with u guys immediately, not pulled your dh in for a scolding... jmo