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whoababy11
it's only forever
Member since 11/10 1598 total posts
Name:
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daycare dilemma - opinions needed
i am so confused. my DD is 15 months. i was home with her for 14 months, then i went back to work as a teacher. my parents come to my house every day to watch her 5 days a week, with the understanding that in november she'd be starting day care (Brookville center in new hyde park) 2 days a week and staying with my parents 3 days. so this morning my mother calls me and says that she and my dad are willing to watch my dd full time for the year if my DH and i would like because they love her so much and feel like shes the most important thing in their lives. as another alternative, they said if i wanted, maybe my DD could start day care in january at 18months, so she'd be a little older and maybe more ready for it. UGH. truthfully, i had been dreading sending her to day care, because my DD is not big on strangers and the thought of her being there 8 hours a day all alone scares the crap out of me. but then on the other hand, i dont know how i feel about having my parents make THAT much of a sacrifice, ya know? i feel so GUILTY already, that their whole lives are taken up by me and my DD.
so, what would you do? let DD stay home with my parents for the year and maybe enroll them all in some gymboree classes for the socialization? send her in january when shes 18 m and maybe a little more ready for it? or proceed as planned and send her at 16 months in november to the toddler room where she will be the youngest one? ugh i am so conflicted and i really want to do whats best. any opinions/insight you could offer would be greatly appreciated.
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Posted 9/26/12 8:35 AM  |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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daycare dilemma - opinions needed
tough one
Do what you guys will sleep with the best (if that makes sense) socialization at gym and other classes don't make sense to me as the children will still cling to the guardians. With daycare the learn independence and socialization because they all share the same 'guardian' if you will.
I think everyone fears that first time you have to let go. But I always felt younger was better because I didn't want my daughter to the crying mess in kindergarten. (or at least not for more than a week). separation anxiety is setting in at 18m as it is. Its going to be hard now and harder then. I think its something we 'should' do (but not must, kudos to all SAHM) and yes, I truly believe its 100000% harder on us than them. They can and will adjust.
but if you can't sleep at night, I also believe happy mama = happy baby.
I totally get the 'guilt' which is why i lose my kiddo all summer so Auntie can have her and weekends are a battle. She's in her 70s but loves my kiddo so much its a struggle to say what can she handle vs what does she and my daughter want
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| Posted 9/26/12 8:51 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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daycare dilemma - opinions needed
I personally would send my child to daycare a few days. My ILs watch DS 2 days a week and he goes to daycare 3 days. I believe he is where he is developmentally partially because of daycare. He plays great with the other kids. He has been there since 8 weeks
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| Posted 9/26/12 8:52 AM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
You're not asking your parents to make that sacrifice, they are offering because they want to. If it were me, I would keep her with my parents. It's only two months....it's not going to make or break anything.
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| Posted 9/26/12 8:58 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
its 2 months .... if your parents WANT to do it, let them. Really, what is another 2 months (and it will get you through half the winter. She WILL get sick this winter in daycare, sick often  )
like you mentioned, maybe have them take her to Little Gym or the library or Gymboree for some exposure to other children.
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| Posted 9/26/12 9:03 AM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
i'd keep her with the grandparents and just enroll in a few classes. they offered so it's not you guiliting them into it. If it doesn't work out, daycare is always an option.
DS is 25 months and i've been home with him unemployed. now my mom watches him in the afternoons while i work and go to school. we will be sending him to pre-k next september. he will be 3. i don't feel he's missed out on anything. we do library each week, he plays in the park with other kids, and our friends visit with our kids usually once a month. he's pretty good at socialization, has no problem sharing (he's not possessive at all!)
i always said i'd never be a SAHM. now that school is only 11 months away, i don't want to let him go!
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| Posted 9/26/12 9:21 AM |
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rkl1130
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 1476 total posts
Name:
Rose Ann
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
They are not making a sacrifice, but rather offering so you should not feel guilty about it.
Personally, I would try to split the time. I would leave him with the grandparents maybe 2-3 days a week and the rest in daycare. This is a good way to introduce him to that kind of environment without overwhelming him and also allows the grandparents a break a few days a week. It's a compromise.
I know for us, DD went in at 18 months and I insisted she go in because I wanted the socialization and wanted her to get used to a school like setting and learn to let go. It's harder for us than for them and even our doctor had told us that you either do it now or you do it when they start school and it's much harder for both the parents and the child.
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| Posted 9/26/12 9:29 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
If the offer is there, I woud take them up on it. My kids were (are) home with me or watched by family (I work part time) until they started preschool at 3. My kids have never had separation issues and have no issue with socialization.
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| Posted 9/26/12 9:40 AM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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daycare dilemma - opinions needed
I'd send her to daycare part time. I started dd at 12 mos and it was a hard adjustment for a month, but she LOVES it. She goes 3 days per week, and she does SO much there, she doesn't want to leave (she's 18m now). I think it's good to socialize her. And honestly, i worry about her less on the days she's at daycare.. It's so structured and non stop, she thrives on that. Also, she's gonna get sick no matter what time of year you put her in.
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| Posted 9/26/12 9:52 AM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
I have a 13 month old in day care and if my parents offered I would take it in a heart beat.
My oldest didn't go to day care until 20 months and he is fine socially.
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| Posted 9/26/12 9:57 AM |
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yankeebaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/12 850 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
Personally I wish I had someone to come and watch my son for free. We pay an arm and a leg for daycare! But, I feel like he is as smart and outgoing as he is because he has been in daycare since he was 8 weeks (couldn't afford to stay home).
Its a hard one. You have to do what you think is right. Will your parents be hurt if you say no? Do you have the money for daycare?
If your answer is yes we have the money no problem. I would enroll her for even half day.
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| Posted 9/26/12 10:23 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
I am in a VERY similar situation. I went back to work as a guidance counselor when DS was 11 months. (I planned to stay home another year but was going to lose my school which is 5 minutes from home and I didn't want to risk having work far from ds)
SO my mom offered to watch DS. My SIL is home with my nephew, she also offered, and MIL did as well. Right now mom has 2 days, SIL 2 days (I pay her), MIL one day.
I am SO thankful to them but like you I do feel like I am putting them out. I would not allow my mom to do it 5 days even if she said she wanted to. Like your parents my mom loves DS SO much but IMO at 63 years old it is too much for her to do it more than two days.
Now in your situation it is your mom AND dad so that is a help but I still honestly feel 5 days is too much for them. I would say 3 days with them two days in day care is a nice compromise. I think two days at your DD is actually beneficial to her, my DS learns SO much just the couple hours he spends at gymboree a week.
When DS is two he will be going to day care, maybe not 5 days but 2 or 3 for sure bc I feel it will what is best for him.
Good luck, it iso hard 
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| Posted 9/26/12 10:27 AM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
I'd keep her with your parents since its for 2 months and then go to the 2 or 3 days in January- as long as that's an option with the daycare and you wont lose her spot. If she will lose her spot, I'd start her now
good luck
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| Posted 9/26/12 11:37 AM |
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Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
Let your parents continue to watch her. I just put 2.5 yo ds in school, he loves it and is doing great. He wasn't behind bc he was home with me
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| Posted 9/26/12 11:40 AM |
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whoababy11
it's only forever
Member since 11/10 1598 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
my DH says we should take my parents up on it. i would love to leave her w my parents. they do stuff with her, take her out to the park and other places every day. obviously i know she is well looked after, safe and secure. i think thats where my heart is leaning, but i guess i am battling this niggling feeling that i am denying my DD some learning experiences if i keep her home another year. argh!
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| Posted 9/26/12 11:56 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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daycare dilemma - opinions needed
I would leave with your parents. What do you loose by letting her spend her days with two people who adore her?
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| Posted 9/26/12 12:10 PM |
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Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
Posted by whoababy11
my DH says we should take my parents up on it. i would love to leave her w my parents. they do stuff with her, take her out to the park and other places every day. obviously i know she is well looked after, safe and secure. i think thats where my heart is leaning, but i guess i am battling this niggling feeling that i am denying my DD some learning experiences if i keep her home another year. argh!
It really does not make a difference. Even if you waited until she was 2, it's fine. Kids don't actually play together until that age or older
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| Posted 9/26/12 12:15 PM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
Let her stay with your parents. If it does become too much for them, you always have the option to put her in daycare later.
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| Posted 9/26/12 12:19 PM |
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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
If your parents are willing and happy to watch her full-time, then I would definitely let them. Like you said, sign her up for 1 or 2 Gymboree-type classes so she gets to socialize with other kids her age, and she will also get used to going to different places and having fun. I would just make sure that whatever classes you sign her up for have unlimited 'open play' type sessions - this way your parents can take her any day of the week and she can run around.
If they start getting tired you can always start daycare early, maybe 2-3 days/week to start with.
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| Posted 9/26/12 12:46 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
My DD never went to daycare (she had a nanny) and is more social than my DS who went to daycare and then to part-time pre-school! That has something to do with it, but not everything.
I'd keep her with your parents for now, and revisit the issue in December/January. It might be a good idea to put her in daycare part time come January/February to give your parents a break, but you also may find that they don't want a break  They sound like great grandparents!
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| Posted 9/26/12 12:49 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
Posted by whoababy11
my DH says we should take my parents up on it. i would love to leave her w my parents. they do stuff with her, take her out to the park and other places every day. obviously i know she is well looked after, safe and secure. i think thats where my heart is leaning, but i guess i am battling this niggling feeling that i am denying my DD some learning experiences if i keep her home another year. argh!
You aren't denying her any learning experiences. My DD just turned 4 and has never been in a daycare setting or a formal PreK setting and she is social, smart, and well adjusted with no attachment issues. I just started her in a separation class twice a week for fun and dances classes on saturdays this month and she goes off on her own with no problem. So don't worry about having to do those things so early, it isn't critical, your child can have just as many solid learning experiences and fun at home as they can in a daycare setting.
If I were in your shoes, I would leave her with your parents..........no question. And since they offered and seem to really want to watch her I wouldn't feel guilty. Down the road if it ends up being too much for them and they need a break you can always send her to daycare then. But for now I would take your parents up on their offer and see how it goes. 
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| Posted 9/26/12 1:38 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
Posted by maymama
its 2 months .... if your parents WANT to do it, let them. Really, what is another 2 months (and it will get you through half the winter. She WILL get sick this winter in daycare, sick often )
like you mentioned, maybe have them take her to Little Gym or the library or Gymboree for some exposure to other children.
. 100% agree with this!
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| Posted 9/26/12 1:45 PM |
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MissMeliss
Love my kids
Member since 11/08 1424 total posts
Name:
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daycare dilemma - opinions needed
Since your parents offered I'd take them up on it. It sounds like they really want to and enjoy their time with her.
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| Posted 9/26/12 2:01 PM |
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08BabySurprise
My Life. My Everything.
Member since 10/07 9151 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
Posted by Pomegranate5
You're not asking your parents to make that sacrifice, they are offering because they want to. If it were me, I would keep her with my parents. It's only two months....it's not going to make or break anything.
This. I would absolutely have my parents watch my child. In fact I did. My mom watched DS for 4 years and I will always be thankful for that.
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| Posted 9/26/12 3:11 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: daycare dilemma - opinions needed
Jump on your parents' offer!
Mine watch our kids 4 days a week, parents in law the other day.
Ds is two with superb socialization skills. We play a lot with other kids.
He will go to part time nursery school.. At 3. Maybe.
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| Posted 9/26/12 3:14 PM |
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