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wantabuninoven
My angel has a baby brother!
Member since 7/10 1050 total posts
Name:
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Coming to terms...
How do you come to terms with the fact you might never have a child? When do you say that enough is enough? Sometimes I just want to quit all of this because its so mentally and physically tiring. Am I just supposed to do this until I run out of money. That is what its looking like these days.
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Posted 11/9/11 9:49 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Coming to terms...
I've been asking myself those same questions lately 
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| Posted 11/9/11 11:51 PM |
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RGEC47
Feeling blessed!
Member since 11/09 3039 total posts
Name:
Rosa
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Re: Coming to terms...
I wish I could give you some insight, but I would lying if I told you I knew the answer. I have days where I accept the possibility of not ever having children, and try to see the positive. How "easy" it would be, freedom to still do what we want, etc. BUT, deep inside I know that there would be something major missing in our life, so I go back to persuing our dream. It's a back and forth game, which I am getting really tired of playing. So like I said, I am no help, sorry.
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| Posted 11/10/11 9:12 AM |
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w8andsee
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1193 total posts
Name:
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Re: Coming to terms...
I don't know. I keep looking up different famous women that didn't have any children. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not the only one and my life will be OK. Maybe there is something else I can do to find fullfilment. When I'm finally over the idea of having kids I'm planning on signing up to the bone marrow registry (something I've always put off because I'm always hoping to get pregnant) and volunteering at a children's hospital.
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| Posted 11/10/11 10:20 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Coming to terms...
i try not to think about it actually
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| Posted 11/10/11 10:24 AM |
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BA2008
Need to find some hope!
Member since 2/08 2485 total posts
Name:
Beth -Ann
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Re: Coming to terms...
I ask myself this all the time and then I think to the far future (I hope). And I think I'm on my death bed (I know its morbid but i make many decisions this way) and I think to myself what is the one thing that I would regret or would not make my life complete at this moment in time and its having a family of my own. So, how can I quit. I just hope I don't mess myself up too badly in the process.
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| Posted 11/10/11 10:49 AM |
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JackiePags
They're the love of my life
Member since 8/10 1299 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Coming to terms...
Posted by AngnShaun
i try not to think about it actually
I'm with you Ang; however I have only been in IF treatments since March...and we start our first IVF cycle next week.
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| Posted 11/10/11 11:24 AM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Coming to terms...
I think about it all the time, since I'm a puppy mama and I wouldn't mind having more furbabies. I just can't even imagine us not having children. We're such a loving couple with so much love to give....
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| Posted 11/10/11 12:09 PM |
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TryingSoHard
I know there's angels watching
Member since 4/11 1725 total posts
Name:
Marissa SugaBeans
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Re: Coming to terms...
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| Posted 11/10/11 2:29 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Coming to terms...
I dont think I could ever come to terms with it. Whether it's figuring out a way to adopt or going thru as many IVFs as I can afford, I HAVE to have a family. I just HAVE to. I won't accept it any other way.
However, I have not been down this road very long, have not suffered like others have and I don't know what my limit of putting myself through suffering will be.
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| Posted 11/10/11 2:33 PM |
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Re: Coming to terms...
It all depends on what you can take physically, emotionally and financially. I was done more times than I can remember in the 4.5 years it took us to finally get pregnant (never even a chemical). I did resolve myself at some point that I might not have a child. I even expressed it on here, and some women did not like my POV. But for me, I had to let go in order to move forward, if that makes any sense to you. I could not keep going into cycle after cycle with high hopes only to come crashing down 4 weeks later. I had to go in w/ acceptance and an understanding that it might not happen. But by doing so, I was able to go on longer than I ever imagined I could. Changing the expectations and deciding on a definitive "end game" helped me cope after so long.
Best of luck to all of you!!
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| Posted 11/10/11 3:31 PM |
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CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts
Member since 9/10 1531 total posts
Name:
Cathy
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Re: Coming to terms...
Posted by BaseballWidow
It all depends on what you can take physically, emotionally and financially. I was done more times than I can remember in the 4.5 years it took us to finally get pregnant (never even a chemical). I did resolve myself at some point that I might not have a child. I even expressed it on here, and some women did not like my POV. But for me, I had to let go in order to move forward, if that makes any sense to you. I could not keep going into cycle after cycle with high hopes only to come crashing down 4 weeks later. I had to go in w/ acceptance and an understanding that it might not happen. But by doing so, I was able to go on longer than I ever imagined I could. Changing the expectations and deciding on a definitive "end game" helped me cope after so long.
Best of luck to all of you!!
This is awesome advice. Ive been looking at it this way-every month-it's not going to happen. Really, I expect AF at this point. Im not counting dpo, monitoring symptoms or any of that. But that's mostly because we have a plan for IVF next year and an end point if it doesn't work after a certain period of time. So since my expectations have changed, Ive definitely been able to manage better.
HTH
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| Posted 11/10/11 5:55 PM |
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PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True
Member since 8/10 2287 total posts
Name:
Caren
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Re: Coming to terms...
Posted by BaseballWidow
It all depends on what you can take physically, emotionally and financially. I was done more times than I can remember in the 4.5 years it took us to finally get pregnant (never even a chemical). I did resolve myself at some point that I might not have a child. I even expressed it on here, and some women did not like my POV. But for me, I had to let go in order to move forward, if that makes any sense to you. I could not keep going into cycle after cycle with high hopes only to come crashing down 4 weeks later. I had to go in w/ acceptance and an understanding that it might not happen. But by doing so, I was able to go on longer than I ever imagined I could. Changing the expectations and deciding on a definitive "end game" helped me cope after so long.
Best of luck to all of you!!
I totally agree. I started to see a therapist before my last IVF that got me a BFP. She and I spoke about the person I was before I started my IF journey. I had to go back and remember who I was and that for so many years I was letting IF define me. It was hard to let that person go and to realize that with the love and support of friends and family I would be ok no matter what happened since I was ok before I started the journey. I went into my last IVF very numb, praying more then I ever had before and doing things differently then I did any other cycle. I had to look and realize that my DH and I were blessed in so many ways, and no we did not have a child and we were paying out of pocket and spending so much money to get pregnant but we were going to be fine no matter what. I was at a place of peace and I think my body knew that.
Never give up and staying positive is the best advice I have gotten.
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| Posted 11/10/11 9:23 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Coming to terms...
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| Posted 11/10/11 9:42 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Coming to terms...
Posted by AngnShaun
i try not to think about it actually
same here..but sometimes i cant help it..those r the bad days
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| Posted 11/10/11 9:43 PM |
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