Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

The cosleeping is really a personal decision, but I just want to add that at 3 weeks it's normal for babies to be up to eat a lot especially if you are bfing, and it's good for building your supply. I remember how tiring it is, but it will get better.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

I can fully appreciate how hard it is to go with little or with no sleep. At 3 weeks old, they are still not sleeping very long stretches, it is what it is. There are SOME babies that will sleep long, but those are very few and far between.

Especially with being so sleep deprived, it can just be too easy to roll on to the baby, to accidentally cover their face by just turning the wrong way. I know people who have successfully co-slept will argue with me, but I think in worst case scenarios and how I would feel if I had to live through one of them. I would NEVER ever forgive myself. Remember that your bed probably isn't as firm as a newborn's crib mattress should be. Plus you have blankets/comforter, pillow, etc. Unless you will be sleeping with just a fitted sheet and nothing else, then I have a hard time envisioning how it's safe to co sleep with a 3 week old.

My son didn't STTN until 6 months old. I was tired. I needed sleep. I tried putting him to bed in anything and everything, I tried swaddling, etc. Some nights one thing worked, other nights I had to do something else. What we never did was co-sleep. I was just TOO nervous about it. When I had DS, there was a news story of a new mom who fell asleep while nursing her son and she accidentally suffocated him to death with her breast. It scared the ever loving s#it out of me. Lack of sleep is NO JOKE. I don't care what some people say about your instincts taking over and how you would never do anything to your child because your body just knows baby is there, etc... well then why do so many babies die each year in those exact situations. Yes some parents drink or take some medicine or whatever. But some are just so sleep deprived that accidents happen.

I'm pg with #2 and who knows how I'll feel if this baby doesn't sleep at all. I'm just going by what research shows at this point. Wishing you lots of luck!

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

Posted by bicosi

Posted by computergirl

Posted by Calebsmom

Im also afraid of how its going to limit my DH and my ability to reconnect. Seems as though at night, even if it its simply him putting his arm around me is all we have left as a way of reconnecting. I feel guilty to have said that out loud now that Im a mom but I know that "me time" is important too. Additionally Im afraid of whats to come when my DS gets older and its a fight to get him out of our bed and into his on (or not) But, crossing my fingers lets see if the co-sleeper works. I'll keep you guys posted. So far you all have been very helpful and I appreciate all your responses and wonderful recommendations.

I am not a fan of co-sleeping in general, and I particularly would not feel comfortable with a tiny newborn in my bed. But I sense so much anxiety in your post, like things are going to be this way forever.

Your baby is only 3 weeks old-- babies don't sleep for long stretches at that point! Cosleeping or not cosleeping, babies are very unpredictable at that stage and don't have a real sleep schedule. Don't project into the future about whether you'll be able to reconnect with your DH or have "me time". This is just a phase of motherhood, it will pass and you and the baby will get into a routine, and there will be time for your DH and time for yourself! Once you get past the first couple of months, the baby will start sleeping for longer stretches and everyone will feel better about things

Ditto to this..

I am not a fan of co sleeping.

imo, the parents/mom's bed is for the mom/parents, not for kids.. only times they should be in there is if they are sick or a special exception if you're watching a movie in bed cuddled.. but otherwise, it's for the adults.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

I never did it as an infant and now my 2 year old DS is having sleep issues, and we felt forced to have him in our bed for all 3 of us to get a good night's sleep. He looks adorable and it feels nice to have him next to me but I am so cramped and I don't really sleep well because I feel like I have one eye open all the time...never mind having any time with my DH....best thing we ever did was have him sleep in his own room and learn how to self-soothe...at 2 it is a whole different ball game but I agree about the co-sleeper in your room. As newborns they are so needy but if you can avoid starting the habit now, I would.

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

If co-sleeping is done safely and responsibility it can pose tremendous benefits to both mother and child. Also, you don't have actually place the baby in your bed. You can buy an arm's reach co-sleeper so that you can and your baby both have separate sleeping spaces. This article by Dr. Sears provides a wonderful, in depth explanation regarding the merits of co-sleeping. Good luck !
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes

Re: Co-Sleep or not to co-sleep

First, congrats on your baby!

I'm not for or against co-sleeping, but if you're not set on it, I would try other things at this point.

I didn't read all the other posts, so I don't know if any of this is a repeat, but here are my thoughts:

Your baby is still SO little! It takes them time to work things out and figure out day vs. night.

Are you using a swaddle? The Miracle Blanket is truly a miracle - go get one immediately if you don't have it!! It helps them stay nice and cozy and keeps them from waking themselves up if they are startled.

Are you using a paci? If not, it might be a good idea to try one and see if your baby likes it. It could help keep him calm and help him soothe himself.

I would NOT put cereal in his bottle at this point, he's so tiny and his tummy is just figuring things out.

In order for you and your DH to get more sleep, can you pump and DH can give a bottle for one of the 'night' feeds, while you sleep? And then you can take the next feed.

Good luck, this is all totally normal for a 3 week old. If you decide you really want to co-sleep, just do a little research and make sure you're doing it safely - there are a bunch of mama's on here who can give you great tips!