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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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CIO questions
I feel I might be doing it wrong.
At night Noah will be fast asleep in our arms, transferring to the crib he wakes up, I let him cry. he is just angry based on what I perceive.
Half the time its a 10-15 min whining session, and then he goes down.
The other times its 20-30 minutes of hysterics.
I dont know what to do? Is it ok to let him cry?
If I follow the correct Ferber method, forget it, when he sees us, he FLIPS OUT even more and the 30 minutes becomes 2 hours, soI know that wont work for us.
I just feel like Im failing at getting him to bed.
We do routines, we stick to them for the most part, we used all the crib techniques we could think of.
Naps are even WORSE. They are nearly impossible to get him to sleep. He will just cry for 2 hours sometimes and its sad to hear. 
TIA
Message edited 1/30/2008 3:00:47 PM.
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Posted 1/30/08 2:52 PM  |
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Re: CIO questions
I don't do anything for naps - if he naps, great, if not, then I don't even waste my energy - I'd rather save it for the night time...
I was just talking about this with someone today - Cailen is just better if we don't come in at all - especially now that he stands and touching him to soothe him just results in him grabbing our arms and trying to climb up 
We just let him cry - he is done between 15-30 minutes, depending... He is waking up out of habit more than anything else so we are trying to break that habit...
i say that after doing the reading, you come up with something that you know, intuitively, will work for you. I have heard people say the Ferber method never worked, but I don't believe in following any method religiously. i take what makes sense to me, whats user-friendly to me, and then go based on my own instincts and knowledge about my little guy!
HTH  night time can be hell  
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| Posted 1/30/08 2:59 PM |
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ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
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Re: CIO questions
I think maybe the part that is wrong is putting him down when he's asleep already...
I believe the whole thing is to teach him how to soothe himself to sleep so that when he wakes in the night he can put himself back to sleep...
If he is falling asleep on you and then wakes up and you aren't there, that's why he will cry...
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:00 PM |
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LuvMy2Girls
@>---------
Member since 5/05 11165 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: CIO questions
Would you be willing to let him try to fall asleep on his own in the crib? Like putting him down drowsy but awake?
He's out cold in your arms, he hits the mattress, opens his eyes and wants to be back in comfy warmth and why did mommy put me in this place.
I personally, was not one for the full CIO ferber thing, i couldn't do it( my girls still learned to go to sleep on their own).
But I did do the shush/pat, pick up/put down method from Secrets of the baby whisperer.
Here's a link to the website i learned alot from. just an alternative maybe :)
Baby Whisperer Forum
Good luck
ETA: I can tell by your posts you are trying so hard, i really feel for you. Maybe CIO is not for him, it doesn't work with all babies. it would have never worked with mine even if i could stand them cry for more than 5 mins.
Message edited 1/30/2008 3:06:41 PM.
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:00 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO questions
My advice, don't let him fall asleep in your arms. Put him into bed awake. And (sorry but I am going to say it) don't go in....it makes it worse. The going in makes the CIO 100x worse imo. Just give yourself a comfortable time limit, and when he cries past that 20 minute (or whatever) time limit...then go in, but be prepared that its going to then be another 20 minutes...and another 20 minutes etc. He needs to learn to fall asleep by himself, so always put him down awake.
Good Luck!!!
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:01 PM |
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Re: CIO questions
Posted by racheeeee
My advice, don't let him fall asleep in your arms. Put him into bed awake. And (sorry but I am going to say it) don't go in....it makes it worse. The going in makes the CIO 100x worse imo. Just give yourself a comfortable time limit, and when he cries past that 20 minute (or whatever) time limit...then go in, but be prepared that its going to then be another 20 minutes...and another 20 minutes etc. He needs to learn to fall asleep by himself, so always put him down awake.
Good Luck!!!
I agree - this is exactly what we have been doing - I'm not going to say its been perfect over here, but its definitely getting better - especially putting himself to sleep...
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:03 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: CIO questions
Posted by ckdk
I think maybe the part that is wrong is putting him down when he's asleep already...
I believe the whole thing is to teach him how to soothe himself to sleep so that when he wakes in the night he can put himself back to sleep...
If he is falling asleep on you and then wakes up and you aren't there, that's why he will cry...
We tried that.....for a while. The 10-15 minutes it takes now when he kinda wakes up was 6-7 HOURS then.
We woudl put him in drowsy but awake and it was hysteria till 12am-2am. And it was like that every night.
I know what your saying is the "right" way to do it, believe me, and I tried, even my ped said to do it that way, but then we werent getting him to sleep at ALL.
The last few times after 5-6 hours of it, we had to get him out of there, he coudlnt breathe etc...and of course, he would fall asleep on us and then we transferred.
We havent let him do it till he falls asleep b/c the above times it has gone as far as 7 hours of crying from 7pm-2am with no even indication in the slightest of sleeping.
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:03 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: CIO questions
Posted by racheeeee
My advice, don't let him fall asleep in your arms. Put him into bed awake. And (sorry but I am going to say it) don't go in....it makes it worse. The going in makes the CIO 100x worse imo. Just give yourself a comfortable time limit, and when he cries past that 20 minute (or whatever) time limit...then go in, but be prepared that its going to then be another 20 minutes...and another 20 minutes etc. He needs to learn to fall asleep by himself, so always put him down awake.
Good Luck!!!
see my next post...what do I do when its 6-7 hours of this?
I'd say we tried it that way about 10 times, and was teh same evry time. He simply refuses. And my darn husband caves every time .
UGH, I dont know how to make it work for us.
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:04 PM |
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Re: CIO questions
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by racheeeee
My advice, don't let him fall asleep in your arms. Put him into bed awake. And (sorry but I am going to say it) don't go in....it makes it worse. The going in makes the CIO 100x worse imo. Just give yourself a comfortable time limit, and when he cries past that 20 minute (or whatever) time limit...then go in, but be prepared that its going to then be another 20 minutes...and another 20 minutes etc. He needs to learn to fall asleep by himself, so always put him down awake.
Good Luck!!!
see my next post...what do I do when its 6-7 hours of this?
I'd say we tried it that way about 10 times, and was teh same evry time. He simply refuses. And my darn husband caves every time .
UGH, I dont know how to make it work for us.
What happens is that Noah is shaping your behavior. He knows - because kids do have internal clocks - that if i scream for 10 minutes, someone will come in.... OK, 10 minutes didn't work, let me try 15 minutes... Bingo.
then you guys decide to wait until 20-30 minutes, Noah learns he has to scream that long until the magic number is hit.... If it doesn't work, he tries for harder and longer....
Its a vicious cycle....
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:16 PM |
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alexlynn7
Big brother to be!
Member since 9/06 6314 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO questions
i don't have any good advice for you - we had it figured out for jonah for a while, and then poof, he starts teething and we are back to square one.
just wanted to send you 
this sleep thing is just so HARD.
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:22 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: CIO questions
I think the prob. def lies in that you are putting him down asleep.
You have to try and find what works for him once you put him down - whether it's the mobile - the radio - a humidifier - a little light in the room - something will eventually work - that when you put him down - he will fall asleep.
For us - during the day - for naps - it's a CD that we play. At night - the mobile. He is always awake when we put him in the crib now (never was before he turned 6 months - which is where most of my problems were I think)
Since we started doing CIO - he has been the BEST napper - and the best sleeper at night. It is truly amazing. He NEVER cries when he goes down anymore. It's simply amazing.
ETA: I get so much more done now that I am not rocking him for 45 minutes each nap. OH - and my arms are pretty happy about it also!
Message edited 1/30/2008 3:25:05 PM.
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:24 PM |
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO questions
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by racheeeee
My advice, don't let him fall asleep in your arms. Put him into bed awake. And (sorry but I am going to say it) don't go in....it makes it worse. The going in makes the CIO 100x worse imo. Just give yourself a comfortable time limit, and when he cries past that 20 minute (or whatever) time limit...then go in, but be prepared that its going to then be another 20 minutes...and another 20 minutes etc. He needs to learn to fall asleep by himself, so always put him down awake.
Good Luck!!!
see my next post...what do I do when its 6-7 hours of this?
I'd say we tried it that way about 10 times, and was teh same evry time. He simply refuses. And my darn husband caves every time .
UGH, I dont know how to make it work for us.
Maybe I'm reading wrong -- but 6 to 7 hours of crying? If that's the case, I say back-off, let him sleep on you or in the swing and gently try reintroducing him to the crib. If he's done a lot of crying in the crib he has probably built up a negative association with it and you're going to have to start from square one again.
I like the PP's suggestion of checking out the Baby Whisper's website. I'm not a big fan of this whole "sleep training" concept, but if you're going to try it, I like her techniques the best.
I think as long as you keep sleep/crib associations positive your child will develop positive sleep habits. He may not go down drowsy but awake and sleep 12 hours straight right now, but he will when he's ready. Don't force it and risk develping a negative pattern.
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:27 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO questions
I really have no advice. Just today, I put Bryan in his crib for a nap. He was talking, talking, talking..for 45mins. then BAM monitor got quiet. He's been napping for over 90mins now
At night, we do "Family Hug". He goes in wide awake, mobile (yes, he still likes it..LOL) goes on, AND the sound machine goes on. Some nights, he goes right out. Others, he cries for about 30mins or more. The other night, my inlaws were here and I think he cried over 30 mins. We knew he was OK. We didn't go in.
I will admit, I give myself the "Bad Mommy Award"..Some nights if he cries and fusses up to an hour, we go in with the bottle. He may need it for comfort. We try not to that too much, but, an hour is a long time in our eyes. If he's just "babbling" we don't go in.
I wish you luck! Take it one night at a time.
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:27 PM |
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ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
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Re: CIO questions
that sounds so tough, I can't imagine...
I guess you have tried music, a mobile, white noise, everything??
Have you read all the methods out there? Something has to work for you guys
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:39 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: CIO questions
dare I sound like a broken record, CIO is not right / does not work for all babies. I am sorry I have no better advice but I know it did NOT work for me DD (or for me or DH for that matter)
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:41 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO questions
Sorry Donna
I don't have any real advice..just didn't want to open a post and not respond.
I still rock Lucas to sleep and put him down asleep...it works for him but all babies are not the same...their sort of like snowflakes.
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:44 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: CIO questions
one more thing - is he sleeping on his belly yet? that could help - it did w/ JC.
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| Posted 1/30/08 3:56 PM |
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Re: CIO questions
Posted by sweetness
Would you be willing to let him try to fall asleep on his own in the crib? Like putting him down drowsy but awake?
He's out cold in your arms, he hits the mattress, opens his eyes and wants to be back in comfy warmth and why did mommy put me in this place.
I personally, was not one for the full CIO ferber thing, i couldn't do it( my girls still learned to go to sleep on their own).
But I did do the shush/pat, pick up/put down method from Secrets of the baby whisperer.
Here's a link to the website i learned alot from. just an alternative maybe :)
Baby Whisperer Forum
Good luck
ETA: I can tell by your posts you are trying so hard, i really feel for you. Maybe CIO is not for him, it doesn't work with all babies. it would have never worked with mine even if i could stand them cry for more than 5 mins.
This is exactly what I do....I never knew there was a name for it. Thanks for the info!!!
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| Posted 1/30/08 4:03 PM |
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Re: CIO questions
Posted by stephanief
dare I sound like a broken record, CIO is not right / does not work for all babies. I am sorry I have no better advice but I know it did NOT work for me DD (or for me or DH for that matter)
True. I have 2 kids and what worked for 1 didn't work for the other. Had I not had 2 different kids I might be totally biased to CIO since it worked for DD #1. It doesn't work for DD #2. However the shush/pat/ pick up/put down does. There is a name for it that a PP mentioned.
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| Posted 1/30/08 4:05 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: CIO questions
we would be lost without her sound machine which signals its time to sleep and her rainforest music thing on her crib. She hears both and the crying stops most times. If she is overtired, it takes a few minutes of crying to get her down. And she was the worst sleeper until we did CIO at 6 months. No naps and it took me an hour to get her to sleep at night. Maybe try putting him down earlier?
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| Posted 1/30/08 4:43 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: CIO questions
Posted by Diana1215
one more thing - is he sleeping on his belly yet? that could help - it did w/ JC.
he rolls back and forth, he seems to end up on his back most. I tried PUTTING him on his stomach and he rolls right over.
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| Posted 1/30/08 7:57 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO questions
Posted by Ang-Rich
I still rock Lucas to sleep and put him down asleep...it works for him but all babies are not the same...their sort of like snowflakes.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who still does this.
Sorry I have no advice ... but I do think the ideas from the Baby Whisperer sound pretty good.
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| Posted 1/30/08 8:20 PM |
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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: CIO questions
I'm so sorry you have having so much sleep trouble!!!
I'm sure you've said before, but does Noah take a pacifier?
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| Posted 1/30/08 8:22 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: CIO questions
We have to stay out of the room too. He used to cry anywhere from about 15 minutes to about an hour.
We got this baby einstein toy from my sister at Christmas and he now pulls that instead of crying and the funny part is that it is a rooster noise/alarm clock noise
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| Posted 1/30/08 8:44 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: CIO questions
I'm new at this so no advice, but wanted to give you
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| Posted 1/30/08 9:00 PM |
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